Doctors who need to be shot

So, a good friend posted this last week. I had known she wasn't handling the meds well, but didn't realize the full extent of her problems.

Then I saw her Saturday and found her to be quite ill. Not sick. Sick is different from ill. Sick is the flu. Ill is...this sort of thing.

I offered to kneecap the doctor several times. She demurred, for now, because her focus is on getting healthy again. And she's not into the whole physical violence thing. She's also stubborn as hell and not real excited about medical "science" right now, so seeing another doctor was far down her list of Things To Do soon.

Fortunately, sometime ago I 'friended' her husband on Facebook. Yesterday morning I saw this update:

Today I took [artcat] to the hospital for some test[ing]. She will be there for two or three days. Please keep her in your prayers. Tue at 9:50pm

Artcat is not a hospital kind of person. I was VERY concerned. This update came through just as I went to bed last night:

[T]est and more test.....things are improving. [artcat] is in room [#]B at [hospital]. In May she had a blood test that registered her hemoglobin at 13.4. Normal is between 12.5 and 18. When the blood count gets as low as 8.0 it is transfusion time. Tuesday's test registered 4.3. Things look like they are improving with the first transfusion and they are still trying to find the reason for the blood loss. They have one more test in the morning to rule out internal bleed. Wed [at ~10:00pm]

From another source, I found out that one of the things they are checking is how well her bone marrow is doing.

And I've just realized that I've never gone over my sister Ellen's illness when I was a toddler.... Suffice to say that whenever I hear the words "bone marrow" I freak the fuck out.

I really really want to kill this doctor of artcat's. All I can hope for is that those in the hospital are REAL doctors who are able to put her back together again.

ALA

Weird people go to ALA. I'm sure that's not a shock. It's just a VERY odd mix of people.

I was one of them today.

I met a good friend for the first time and we hit it off immediately. Gawd, I love teh internets!

I ran into two old friends by happenstance. And they wouldn't go away!

I chatted with another good friend whose going through...Major Stuff. She said kind things to me, which may or may not be deserved, and I worried about her. Still am. Still will be for awhile.

And I came home with four new cloth bags--only one of which was, at most, half full. (The six new books don't count--they were in the bag I brought with me.) Now that I've been home for awhile, I'm down to a stack about 6" tall of materials to deal with at work this week.

And I spent about $65, which I won't be submitting for reimbursement. I mean, really, what's the point? It was worth every dime to be on my own dime today.

Oh how I hate flurries!

Doesn't it always seem that bad news travels in a pack? I've certainly seem my share of personal (i.e. family) bad news, but when I broaden the scope, here's what I see scattered around:

• A dear friend whose doctor needs to have evil things done to him for ignoring her phone calls for weeks until she showed up in his exam room in early-stage organ failure because of medication he prescribed! [this brings up ghosts from my childhood and freaks me way the fuck out in very abnormal ways]
• Someone who is hospitalized tonight because of a fall a couple of days ago.
• A coworker who's father died just under a month ago.
• My sister needs a tuneup in her brain electrodes, but there are some issues there. Long story. Of course.
• Another friend who's mother died about 10 days before mine.
• And a couple of others' whose parents are at the stage my mom was at about 5 months ago.
• People forgetting the whole "innocent till proven guilty in a court of law" thing. Accusation doesn't equal fact.
• Ongoing medical issues with another friend who has, essentially, had a headache since November. Every day. Can you imagine dealing with a three-year-old 24/7 with a headache? Yeah. Doctors have no idea. Doctors suck.
• Gout in another family member. Though that's easing due to--of all things!--cherries.
• Stupid men involving themselves in extramarital situations and having their lives destroyed over it (not to mention the lives of their wives and families). Guys: KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS, and your pants zipped/glued shut!
• The legal maneuvering over my mom's broken leg is still hanging fire in our family. See footnote here.
• The economy is hitting home in libraries across the country. Ohio is slashing and burning its way through their astoundingly fabulous libraries. Our city is sending ominous links via email to articles about other communities' belt-tightening as we approach the budget planning sessions for 2010-11.
• Schedule Nazi just doesn't seem to understand that some of us never want to see her again.
• PTF pissed me off this week in a way that he hasn't achieved for months. Possibly over a year, in fact. Over something insanely stupid. Of course. What else is new?
• [whinge] I work Tuesday-Friday this week. I'm going to ALA on Saturday--just for the exhibits--all day. I work Sunday; Sundays S U C K! And then I work Monday-Thursday next week. So basically I'm working 7/7-16 every day.[/whinge] The problem is exacerbated by the feeling like I'm at work for 7 or so hours daily and get virtually no cataloging done. Since that's the part of my job I love the most, I'm getting whinier and whinier about it, not to mention behind-er.
• Our super-wonderful senior shelvers will be leaving for college in 5 weeks or so. WAAAAAHHHH!!! Am so sad about this. For me; not for them, of course.

There's also the fact that the new director, while starting to get her legs under her as far as the job goes, is still needing a LOT of information regularly. And we've undertaken to make some rather ginormous changes in some of of our major work procedures...there's a lot of stress. I like change. These will be good changes when they are all in place and understood...but it's hard.

This is the sort of mood where I probably could use a large glass of wine (or two), but I'm too afraid of using alcohol as a crutch (family history + ) so I probably won't. But the inside of my skin itches from all this drama and angst and things to think about that I don't even know where to start. Gah.

Nibbled to death

A great day. No, seriously, it was. Keep that in the forefront your mind, because much of this post is straight, full-on vent.

Wonderful company in Beast and Sparky, FIL, Gerb, and Alan. And then there's Katherine--my only blood relative besides Sparky in the house today. She needs to be spanked. I had high hopes for her this holiday. When she and Alan arrived yesterday she was in good spirits and generally was pleasant company. That continued for much of the morning today...until mealtime.

I am generally aware of the emotional currents in a room but not always clear where the whirlpools are developing until they have become riptides, but damn if today I didn't visibly watch Katherine commence with her poutiness. When Sparky reminded us, rather late in the visit, that we were going to play Scrabble, her eyes lit up (she L O V E S board games) and then she and Alan disappeared upstairs to pack up their overnight bags so they could take off for his mom's. There was glaring; she wanted to stay, he wanted to get to his mom's. I think the issue was that we should have mentioned game-playing earlier so she could participate. Her parting shot to Sparky was something like, "I'll play Scrabble with you next time, and I'll win" followed by a comment about being told not to be falsely modest about one's talents. And they were out the door.

Stunning.

Clueless.

Floored.

I realize that we all have one relative that we want to keep in a closet, but she was unbearably rude to our friend today and not much more than civil with FIL, especially as the day wore on.

A telling moment was when she mentioned that the two of them (Katherine and Alan) have had couples' counseling as part of the adoption process they are going through, and she thinks the therapist is crap because "She keeps bringing up the same things over and over." Well...DUH! I bet I know which ones, too (it would be a guess--Katherine didn't share that much!).

We had a wonderful, fairly relaxing day spent with some of the people we love the most in the world, talked to most of our out-of-state family on the phone, were cheered by and cheery with them, got quite the haul of good gifts ... yet all I want to do is call Katherine tomorrow and read her the riot act for having the grace and tact of a shit-covered rock pitched through a stained-glass window. I am not fond of the concept of family feuds, but I'm rarin' to go on this one; I am so TIRED of her behavior. She is nearly 37 years old, a professional with an advanced degree, was raised by parents with some semblance of a clue as far as social behavior--and every time I spend time with her, I want to strangle her by the end of it. It's probably good that I work tomorrow, and we have electronics to set up and Thank You notes to write over the weekend so I'll be too busy to call. Cooling off periods are good.

To end on a happier note, the doorbell rang in the midst of yesterday morning's snow and I found on my snowy porch a delivery man with flowers. Thank you, Jenny. I love you, and I am grateful every day for you.

I don't want to brag or make the rest of you envious, but I have to say that my two best girlfriends are the BEST friends ever.

Ten Things I'd Like to Say to Assorted People

One per person. I swiped this idea from Allison, and decided to do it here instead of the memes blog...

1. It. Really. Is. NOT. All. About. You.


2. Thank you.


3. One conversation at a time, please.


4. If you can't say anything positive, then just shut up.


5. Could you lighten up on the perfume and only wear a half bottle every day?


6. If you're sick, go home.


7. Perhaps you should buy a dog so you have someone to talk to.


8. Being around you makes me smile, and you have no idea how much I need that.


9. Please slow down; you're making me dizzy.


10. You are the most annoying person I know. Go away.

See why I can't actually say most of these? Most of them are to people I should just not talk to at all.

That's all

Mood: good
Hair: looking really good
Eyes: very good
Listening to: Dr. G explaining about why [mostly young] men die from accidents more often than women

One has to wonder...at what point does one just throw up one's arms and say, ok--I'm done. I have been struggling with a friendship that has been dying in slow stages all year. At least from my perspective, it's dying. At least, from my perspective, it is/was a friendship. The problems I have been struggling with the most are whether she a) thinks/thought it was a friendship, and b) whether she knows it's dying. Or cares.

No, I know she doesn't give a shit. She seems incapable of stepping outside her own very large ego long enough to respond to favors, answer questions, or think about how her words can be hurtful, even if wasn't intentional. I've obliquely called her on it, and I think she got that, to a degree but she didn't apologize. Oh, no, far from it: she used my time and space to further her own agenda.

So I've mostly cut off contact with her and don't check in on her life for the most part anymore. However, she still pops up periodically in one place, and tonight yet another comment from her set me off. I mean, really, do ANY of my friends not know where Beast's family is from, where his parents lived? And then to egregiously, with no explanation, insult that place...I dunno.

I rilly do understand that it's not all about me, and that sometimes things just piss you off and you need to vent. I also understand that I'm completely thin-skinned about anything she says at this point, and I've been trying to just allow time and space to do their (usually healing) work. Indeed, I think the healing is happening, but rather that scarring over a cut it's actually rejecting a splinter. So. That sucks.

I guess it's right back to the saying about friends coming into your life for a reason or a season. The reason has been over for a long time, and now the season is changing too. Kinda sad. Lots of good has come out of it, and that will go on and I'll treasure it. But I'm calling this one. Time of death: now.

May Wisdom and Happiness compete to see which can do you the greatest favor,
and all of your relationships be blessed with balance and harmony.
Speak only what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation. Silence engenders contemplation.
Love and evolve.

Blessing Generator

---

Urban Word:

deja moo: The feeling that you have heard this bull before.

Sometimes, life just seems like a whole lotta deja moo all at once..

Two things

1. To my East Coast-born or -located friends: I was not talking to you. By definition, if you are my friend (on- or off-line), you aren't a fucktard.


2. Pyongyang is a fun word to say. I wonder if it is fun to say in Korean....

PLUS: if someone sees my brain scooting around somewhere, please nudge it my direction. Better yet, replace it with one that doesn't keep falling out, please.

Time passages

[anyone else remember that song??]

Mood: ok so far
Hair: clean and drying
Eyes: dry
Listening to: Sparky playing Zelda-something-or-other

So. In the past eight days in my family, Del, CC, and Marie have added a year to their ages. Also, Del & CC and Jean & Reg have celebrated wedding anniversaries, and Ellen & Dean's anniversary was in there as well. This is the month that caused me to call a moratorium on the cards (much less gifts!). August broke the budget and my brain every year.

Also, my childhood best friend's birthday is next week, and so is Jenny's. Amy's birthday was yesterday. What the HELL?? Why do I seem to (unknowingly) buddy up with all these Virgos? Maybe this is why:

If you’re sick, need some help or some good advice, Virgo friends are the ones to seek. They have a great concern for the welfare of others and are always willing to go the extra mile to help you out. Their solid, practical natures are great in many situations and their ability to plan with extreme detail is amazing. They are not shy in giving you their time or energy, but they are also not so shy in point out your faults, how you messed up or nagging you to better yourself.

All true, except for that last bit. I don't really have naggy friends, or they are so tactful I don't even recognize the nagging!

Anyway.

The main reason I'm posting is because my nephew (Jesse) is here for a couple of days before moving on to Katherine and Alan's on Friday night. We were going to visit an outdoor museum today but it's supposed to rain a bit. We'll see. He's not even up yet--which is just fine. He looked more than a little haggard when we picked him up at the train station yesterday. Maybe we'll just sit in the house today and play video games. Katherine has Active Duty planned for him Saturday and Sunday: tours, regular museums, walking, shows, tourist stuff. I'm tired just reading her schedule! While they do that, I will work (Saturday) and supervise the thorough cleaning of Sparky's room (Sunday or Monday). Beast is heading back to OH tomorrow.

Also and completely unrelated to anything else: Bill Clinton is an excellent speech-maker. What a shame his follow-through is so suspect. He sure wows a crowd, though.

---

WordSpy Word:

junior moment: n. A momentary lapse into immaturity; nervousness or folly caused by youth or inexperience.

I think I'm going to have to chalk up a lot of this month's angst about everyone's behavior to several people's junior moments, mine included.

We are home

That is all...

...except to say thank you to those of you who spared us a comment and good thoughts.


Also, in times like this, it's interesting and quite surprising once again to find out who our true friends are. What a blessing they--you--are.

Friday

Mood: meh
Hair: falling down French braid
Eyes: itchy and red
Listening to: the Golf network and Sparky eating carrots

It occurred to me today that for the majority of my life, I have been very tuned into medical 'stuff.' I can't remember for sure the first time I was in a hospital. I remember a couple of specific times when Ellen was ill, just faint impressions--I was somewhere between 2 and 4 or 5. My dad had a heart attack when I was 3. My eldest niece was born about 10 weeks after my 6th birthday and we visited her mom, Marie, in the hospital.

So hospitals don't particularly scare me or freak me out. They are, I think, the equivalent to my feelings about going to a department store or train station. In fact, I find medical procedures and schedules endlessly interesting.

One of the things I learned early on was how bruises work--and NO not (just) because I fell down a lot! The first indication Ellen that she was very sick was when she nicked her leg shaving and it wouldn't stop bleeding...for hours. I don't remember that at all, but I've known the story since before I was old enough to shave my legs. Anyway, for as long as I knew Ellen, she bruised really easily. Like, bumping her leg the way I do almost weekly on a corner of my desk would mean a 3" bruise. One time while at a miniature golf course, she got hit with a golf ball on her shin and you would have thought she'd broken her ankle the way she went down. People ran for ice (unavailable--cold can of pop was the best we could do) and it took her 10 minutes to get up on her feet again. The resulting bruise was enormous, stuck out about 1/2", and stayed black about a week. This was 15 years after she was pronounced 'healed' by the way.

So, I have watched my ugly leg closely this week for a couple of reasons. Early on, I was making sure I hadn't damaged any blood vessels so badly that they wouldn't be able to stop bleeding, which would show up as continuing darkening areas. I'm also just enjoying the color show. Yesterday was Yellow Banana Day. Really, not an attractive look. Today is Banana Bread Batter Day: much lighter but with clumps of darker stripes where the bruise is a little deeper.

Doesn't hurt as much either, except when I bump it (fairly gently) with something. Ow, but Weird Ow.

My white blood cells are getting a workout this week, my body is good at healing itself. That's pretty cool. Also, pretty damn amazing when you consider all the things that have to go right in the process!

Speaking of hospitals, I currently have three friends/family members in hospitals. Another friend was released yesterday. Kinda sux. Please, the rest of my friends, stay healthy and don't break any bones!!

Lyrics

I've always loved these lyrics. In light of the phone calls I've gotten this morning and yesterday, they seem especially poignant.

If you search for tenderness
it isn't hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

I can always find someone
to say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don't want some pretty face
to tell me pretty lies.
All I want is someone to believe.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

I can find a lover. I can find a friend.
I can have security until the bitter end.
Anyone can comfort me with promises again.
I know, I know.

When I'm deep inside of me
don't be too concerned.
I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone.
But when I want sincerity
tell me where else can I turn.
Because you're the one[s] I depend upon.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

Billy Joel "Honesty"

This is, indeed, what friends are for.

Update (Rated PG for ugliness)

The joy of being the injured one in this case is that it's not that bad: looks much worse than it is. Besides which, one of our library pages was in a bike accident on Friday that broke both arms, required surgery, and has left him in the hospital for at least a couple more days.

So, THIS? This is nothing: So this is the view Saturday night (same basic photo as the original post.

This is the view yesterday morning. Varicose Veins Gone Wild! (not)

Today. With some help from Sparky (who is helping me sort through the crap on the floor behind my leg, by the way). See? Pretty colors!

What's amusing is that the outside of my leg also has a good-sized bruise from where it caught the floor on the way down, and I whacked the TOP of that same thigh on the underside of a table yesterday. Brilliant!

Thanks you guys who've commented.

"Asshat Move of the Year (So Far)"

Mood: Amused (and sore)
Hair: It needs washing and it's in a ratty braid
Eyes: Red-rimmed (stupid allergies
Listening to: MASCAR

Beast said that he expects me to use a title along these lines--not that he agrees with the sentiment. He should agree, but he's a kind Beastie. He also says he's never heard anyone else use the term "asshat." OK, then.

We went to a pig roast tonight. A good friend of ours has spent months planning this surprise party for his wife to celebrate their 20th anniversary. All of both of their families came in, and another friend volunteered their barn to host it.

Proving that I can't be trusted after half a glass of wine to walk while carrying a plate of food...I fell through the floor.

Now, granted there's more to the story, which I won't go into, but it was not the fault (directly) of the hosts or anyone else, and I didn't break the floor (the hole was there, and covered till we decided to tidy up). Fortunately, as you will see below, I have (ahem) heft in my thighs which ironically kept me from much more serious damage. I seem to have injured only 1) my pride, 2) my left foot where I twisted in my sandal as I fell, and 3) my right leg from mid-calf to mid-thigh, but pretty superficially. No broken bones, twisted tendons, or snapped ligaments. Just me, looking stupid.

That was at about 5:30. Three hours later after a bath and donning of pajamas (I do not wear these pants in public; are you on crack?!):

Not so bad, eh? A little red and scraped, with some suspicious shadowing on the inside of thigh. Still, some of the color weirdness could be due to the flash on the camera, eh?

OK, that shadow really is a bruise. Still, the majority of color is red. Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of your own leg, by the way?

Eeeuwww! Cellulite! Whale-white skin! But rather patriotic: red, white and blue! Lots of scrapes, and some noticeable dark spots.

Can you point to where my leg got stuck in the floor? Can you see just how thick the floorboards in the barn are? Any bets on how painful getting out of bed tomorrow is going to be? I hope we have plenty of Tylenol in the house!

Somehow, Beast thinks part of this is his fault. He's a goob. He's just married to a complete klutz.

---

Urban Word:

Dr. Feelgood: Personification given to mainly booze, and sometimes referring to other drugs. Generally used to refer to drugs when a person is feeling down and a person is saying it's what they need and/or use to feel better.

I think the use of some Dr. Feelgood, while a pleasant-sounding concept, might be the worst possible treatment for me tonight.

Good stuff

I actually cooked dinner tonight. That's pretty shocking. 'Course, we ate in front of the TV, so my Good Mom Balance Sheet comes up short as a result of that, but homemade pork chops. Right.

We're all home tonight. That's rare. Sparky's in the office, I'm watching Deadliest Catch, and Beast is cutting wood in the basement and working on the plate rail in the kitchen. We're not exactly together, but we're all in the house.

There was cataloging achieved today. In the spirit of keeping to the positive, I will only briefly touch on the irony of Schedule Nazi leaving me a stack of kids' books with a note saying, "Please do these soon so they are ready for Summer Reading Program." My response? Fatfuckin'chance. They are on the cart with the rest of the Skinny Kids' Books. I will get to those when I get the Bottom Shelf emptied off, and the Order Record Conundrum resolved. That is, not soon.

I'm rereading the Laura books. It's time. It's probably at least the 10th time through them all in my life. Every time I read them, I find something else I didn't notice previous times.

This is our only night at home this week. Last night we were gone till after 7:30. Tomorrow night the boys have haircuts at 5 and then there's a meeting at the high school at 7.

Thursday is another nursing care facility interview at 4 followed by a band concert at 7. Oh, and I'm scheduled to work till 9 as usual. I think I'm not going to the band concert.

Friday is my day off. I have a haircut, Sparky is staying at school till 5:30, and we need to pack for our trip. I'm sure we need to deal with laundry too.

---

Urban Word:

foul-weather friend: The opposite of a fair-weather friend, a foul-weather friend only seeks you out if they have a problem, need a shoulder to cry on, a ride to town or someone to watch their dog, but otherwise they act as if they don't even know you. They're only your chum when they're glum.

There are a couple of people around whom I feel like I've been acting like a foul-weather friend lately. I probably need to stop that.

Calm

We are a bit becalmed here. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's not necessarily a good thing either. It just is.

I'm trying to keep the rantiness to a minimum. I'm trying to find the positive spin on things. It helps that I'm going on a (work-related) road trip on Friday, and that I am only working four hours tomorrow--and in the process of working that out, I have maneuvered a "screw you" move on Schedule Nazi. See what happens when you take so much comp-time? You lose. Bitch.

[There are reasons I'm particularly blunt about her right now. I'm not going into them. It's just more of the same shit.]

The road trip will entail 8 hours on the road and a 6-hour meeting. It doesn't sound fun, but it will be spent in good company, and that is worth a lot more than sleep.

Another positive thing is that I emailed a friend with whom I haven't 'talked' in months. It's not like we don't work less than 1/4 mile away from each other.... However, we are both so swamped with end-of-the-school-year (and family) stuff that setting a time to get together is proving to be a challenge. We're into July at this point.

Speaking of school.... Well, I'll just say that a) kids are stupid, and b) sending kids to public schools nowadays is a bit scarier than it was in the 70s and 80s. I'll go into detail, perhaps, this weekend. It's not about Sparky, though.

My family (of origin) sux, by the way. I've about reached my last nerve with them. Just...go 'way. This is probably the healthiest feeling I've had about them in awhile. I don't feel particularly guilty about feeling this way, though I do feel badly about Mom.

Monday night, we watched Dirty Jobs; last night we watched Deadliest Catch; tonight we're watching Survivorman and Mythbusters. Network TV? Only on Thursdays.

I caught up my reading lists last night while watching people fight on crab boats. It took awhile; I'd let it slide for quite a awhile.

And who knew--those feathers Native Americans wore in their hair? Served a purpose besides vanity and decor. I *heart* Les Stroud.

---

Urban Word:

refrigerator blindness: Selective loss of visual acuity in association with common foraging of the refrigerator [or freezer]. Predominantly seen in children and males.

Ten minutes ago, Sparky stood in front of the fridge and asked if there were anymore bagels in the freezer up here. A severe case of refrigerator blindess has obviously hit him.

Poetry Month

Religion
by Robert Wrigley

The last thing the old dog brought home
from her pilgrimage through the woods
was a man's dress shoe, a black, still-shiny wing-tip.

I feared at first a foot might be in it.
But no, it was just an ordinary shoe.
And while it was clear it had been worn,

and because the mouth of the dog--
a retriever, skilled at returning ducks and geese---
was soft, the shoe remained a good shoe

and I might have given it
to a one-legged friend
but all of them dressed their prostheses too,

so there it was. A rescued
or a stolen odd shoe. Though in the last months
of the dog's life, I noticed

how the shoe became her friend, almost,
something she slept on or near
and nosed whenever she passed,

as though checking it to see if,
in her absence, that mysterious, familiar,
missing foot, might not have come again.

Is it over?

The meeting wasn't all that bad this morning. I corrected a typo on one of his slides, a slide he has used in presentations all over the place at least 10 times. There was another typo later. Clearly the dude doesn't believe in SpellCheck--a man after my own heart, no? :-)

Stacie, my masseuse--how grandiose!!--hurt me today. Hurt me bad, for the purpose of doing me good. She worked on about 100 square inches of real estate on my upper back. I had to keep telling her to stop while I breathed out some of the pain. In the end, however, I can now turn my head, tip my head, nod my head...without pain. The pain I am feeling is more deep muscle soreness, like I actually did something for a change, rather than OMGWTF--I AM ATLAS!!

Then I came home, started laundry, cleaned, talked to Beast on the phone, watched last night's shows, tidied a little, mopped the kitchen/back hall/bathroom, finished the laundry, faffed about on teh 'tubes (including moving around and deleting several feeds in Bloglines--I'm down to 125. Hi Amy!), called Jenny...y'know, life. The good stuff. Yes, mopping = good stuff. I've lost my mind! I ate dinner too, by the way: fish. Yum.

Still need to put away about 2.5 weeks' worth of laundry tonight, finish the convo with Jen, and take a bath. The wind is whipping around outside, rain is falling, and I think there's a tornado watch for another few minutes. I love the smell of ozone. It's warm enough that I had to put on shorts, and I can hear people sitting in their garage across the street talking. Because the window, she be open.

N.B. : Regarding yesterday's rant about courtesy...before publishing the post, I deleted the line I had originally included that explained that I checked my site stats before writing it. If you have visited here anytime in the past month (or more), you are not involved. What I should have known about you guys (gals?) is that those of you who would take it to heart are those to whom I would cut miles of slack right now because of the shit in your personal lives. I'm sorry if I caused any of my good and true friends any angst. You all know who you are, dahlinks. Mwah.

Dear God, I've turned into Billy Crystal!

I'm going to go do that laundry thing, because I'm sure as soon as I start it, I'll be interrupted by a phone call, a good phone call.

---

Urban Word:

ice maker: The opposite of ice breaker. Something you do that makes it super awkward, right after meeting someone.

Doesn't it seem as if some weeks everything that comes out of your mouth when speaking in a group of people is an icemaker? Or is that just me?

Annus

Remember the Queen of England saying in 1992 that it had been an "annus horribilus" for her that year?

I can relate. I'm trying like hell to manage and deal, but wow there is a shitload of pain and grief around me, not to mention what's inside of me. I can't even keep track of what's going on, really, just that lots of friends have lost family members recently, lots of other friends are facing the death of family members, and lots of people have been really sick for a long time. Add to that news of teenagers being hit by cars, kids killing themselves, local educators being incredibly--CRIMINALLY--stupid.

Jenny and I have always cheered each other up by saying, "Could be worse. Could be raining." It is raining. As I said earlier today, the volcanic eruptions and earthquakes should be starting here any second. We've already got thunder, lightning, flooding, and fire going for us.

I just realized that one of our regular patrons actually talks like Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

Yes there is a connection. But I'm going to bed. You'll have to sort it all out while I sleep.

I hate this winter

Can we be done now?

Because, yeah, kinda tired of hearing bad news...totally tired of winter. Between the two, and the whole "itchy, red eyes" thing, I'm toast.

The latest:

• Dean, back in the hospital, hasn't had surgery yet. Not sure what's going on there. I'm hearing everything third-hand, underwater, in Esperanto, from someone who only speaks Basque.



• Maniac found out this week that her dad has metastatic bladder cancer. Two days later she fell on her porch and whacked her head (as mentioned earlier this week).



• James, in a completely retarded relationship. He's pushing toward romance, but she couldn't be sending any louder "not interested" signals in response.



• One of the victims from Thursday went to high school 40 minutes from us.



• The father of my longest-term best friend died this morning after a week-long heart surgery. That's the short version of what started out as pretty basic bypass and turned into something else.

Really. Can't we just...I dunno, have a do-over starting about last November 15?

A good day

Why?

• I slept till almost 9 (ok, it was in the recliner for most of the night, but...).
  
• I'm almost half-done with Christmas cards.
  
• I spent a wonderful afternoon with someone who is becoming a dear friend in spite of being close to the same age as Sparky.
  
• We bailed on a party after driving 30 minutes and still having 2/3 of the way to go. It's snowing, a beautiful sparkly snow...and it's brutally slippery. Now that we're back home (we went about 25 miles in about 80 minutes, round-trip), we can appreciate how pretty it is outside. Between our departure and return home, it snowed almost 2 inches more in our driveway. A good night to stay home and blog.
  
• My Amazon order shipped.
  
• I may have found all the pictures I've, sporadically, been looking for over the past several months. Beast seems to have known where they were all along, but he didn't know that was what I was looking for.
  
• Guilt free gaming for me tonight: I have to work tomorrow afternoon, so I feel no compunction to be a martyr about co-opting the computer tonight! :-)