Yeah, I love the workin' Sundays

It's not VERY often that I call (or text) Beast as I leave work and ask (demand) a drink mixed and waiting for me when I arrive home.

Today was one of those days.

I think my tolerance for Teh Stoopud was maxed out today before 1:05. We opened for bidness at 1.

The vodka-tonic Beast mixed was inside me in less that 25 minutes. That too is unusual. He makes a mean 'un.

My fingers, feet, and brain are numb. That's a Very Good Thing, especially the latter.

ALA

Weird people go to ALA. I'm sure that's not a shock. It's just a VERY odd mix of people.

I was one of them today.

I met a good friend for the first time and we hit it off immediately. Gawd, I love teh internets!

I ran into two old friends by happenstance. And they wouldn't go away!

I chatted with another good friend whose going through...Major Stuff. She said kind things to me, which may or may not be deserved, and I worried about her. Still am. Still will be for awhile.

And I came home with four new cloth bags--only one of which was, at most, half full. (The six new books don't count--they were in the bag I brought with me.) Now that I've been home for awhile, I'm down to a stack about 6" tall of materials to deal with at work this week.

And I spent about $65, which I won't be submitting for reimbursement. I mean, really, what's the point? It was worth every dime to be on my own dime today.

Weird Day

Yesterday was a strange day at work. Part--most?--of that strangeness can be attributed directed to the fact that, starting Monday, we will have two Directors for a week. There is a great deal of time being spent thinking about that, planning for the current Director's going-away party, thinking about what we need to find out from her before she's gone, tying up loose-ends of projects, etc. The staff is doing a special presentation and there was a lot of talk about that (when the boss wasn't in the room).

About midway through the day, I suddenly realized that everyone had received a 'script' for the party via email. Except, that is, me. It was inadvertent, I'm sure, but it explained the sort of low-level cluelessness I'd been experiencing all week. I knew something was percolating because people were talking about it out loud, but then they'd say something about squirrels (I kid you not) and I'd think, "What?"

Yes, part of our presentation involves squirrels.

Being aware enough to know that I was missing something is paranoia-inducing, especially since there are some other, actual, paranoia-inducing things going on at work right now as we prepare to start working for the first new Director the library has had since the early 1970s. I hasten to say that I know from prior experience that things could be MUCH MUCH worse. The last time I worked a 'regime change' was horror-inducing. This will be a breeze, no matter how angsty everyone gets!

But some other weird stuff was going on too. It is the end of the month so I was working up the cataloging stats. Weirdly, this is something I generally find very calming. I've only recently started doing this for the boss, so I still have to think through each and every step. When I got to the main stats document I was lost. Fortunately, she was nearby to ask, "Where do I put May??" Er, duh, Cat.: new budget year. New spreadsheet. New new new ... everything. I figured it out, after much faffing about. There was some intense praying that I didn't manage to delete last year's entire accounting document. In fact, I had to keep getting up and walking around to clear my head enough to ensure I wasn't jumping to conclusions before deleting/saving over docs.

[Realized as I typed this that I left out a piece--rats! Fortunately, it's a piece that I keep for my own joy, so it's not a big deal. The numbers are there; I'll just have to do it on Tuesday.]

Because of all the up-and-down, plus the Public Desk schedule, plus trying to tie of other projects including entering order records into the catalog all morning (that always makes my brain itch) and running the July Hot Books in Publishing list, I felt like I had a big case of ADD.

Did I mention the scheduled eyedrop breaks? Yeah. The eyes are better but they require constant maintenance and coddling. As, apparently, they will for the rest of my life. I will be single-handedly supporting the individually packaged Refresh et al. market. Absolutely nothing with a preservative can go in my eyes. And the Greek chorus shouts, "THANK GOD I am alive now, not 50 years ago when there was no understanding of this sort of thing, no options, and I would probably be legally blind by now."

And finally...while I was at the Reference Desk, a woman came up to me, seething with fury. She claimed that while she was away from her internet station briefly (to put money on her print account, 10 feet away), someone sat down at it and "deleted" the pages of work she was just about to print. So, yeah, I'd be furious too, but then she said something to the effect of "This is why I wish I carried a gun!"

Gulp. I suggested, strongly, that this would not solve the problem, and she should CERtainly not bring a gun to the library for this purpose.

As I got to thinking about it, I am pretty sure that she had to wait awhile for staff to put money on her account and the computer she was using timed out and shut down. The guy who came and sat down there had no way of knowing she had been using it at that point.

Eventually, I asked her if she had said anything to him. "No. I'm too angry and I might say something...." Yeah, something out of line maybe?! But on the other hand, there is a sudden stench of passive-aggressive here. I'm not either person's mom, and by the age she is she should be able to stand up for herself.

When she finally finished up she stopped at the desk and said, "That guy just left a few minutes ago. Maybe I can catch him in the parking lot and punch him." I reiterated that she shouldn't do this on library property. Now I'm wondering if I should have called the cops. Would I if she'd been a Big Scary Guy? I didn't because I rationalized that if she was too much of a wienie to talk to him, she was not likely to punch him. And had I really thought she might have a gun, I might have at least followed her to the parking lot to keep an eye on her.

That situation was exacerbated by the book I'm reading: Columbine. It's probably NOT the best book to read, as I did Thursday night, in bed before going to sleep. Definitely not if you have or know teenage kids, or have spent any quality time in a school recently.

However, it did bring about an epiphany of understanding about why a certain architectural feature at Sparky's school freaks me the fuck out. Every time I walk into the building, I shudder, and now I know why--it reminds me of a bit of the blueprint of the area in which most of the killing took place at Columbine. [The design is different enough that now that I know WHY it gives me the wobblies, I can start working on letting go of them.]

Bookending the day was a nice walk from and back to our favorite service station where I had left the Honda to have a lug nut replaced. Beast got a little carried away while fixing the brakes a couple of weeks ago. So I drove it to Bob's in the morning, left the keys, walked to work, and reversed the process at the end of the day. Both walks took place with perfect-in-every-way weather (temperature and humidity were moderate and the sun was shining), and because there was a train at the station on my way to pick up the car there was no traffic as I walked across the street, even though 5 minutes later I could barely drive out of the parking lot.

The capper to the weirdness, I think, is that Beast is the most relaxed I've seen him in months. Which is odd, considering his job situation and the uncertainty around that. On the other hand, the other shoe has dropped. And that, at least, is over.

I'm hoping for Less Weird today. Grocery shopping, weeding, dropping off Sparky's job apps, visiting an elderly friend, cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms.... Boring is fun. ;-)

Blood pressure

I bought some radio show CDs for my mom some time ago and when she stopped using them, they were in good enough shape to donate to the library.

They have worked their way to the point of needing labels and cases and so forth. The person in charge of this--who, I'm sure it will come as no surprise given the title of this post, is CT--brought one over to ask something about it. When I took a look at it, I realized that my sister had written Mom's last name on the discs to ensure they were returned to Mom at the nursing home. So I said to CT, "You are going to black out the name, right?"

Sigh. "I don't know...."

WTF? Why would you leave someone's name on something when they don't own it anymore?? And it's a matter of taking a Sharpie and doing just what my sister did: writing on the surface of the printed side of the disc. I'm not asking for a label.

"There are an awful lot of them...."

So I told her fine, give them to me to scribble on because my time is ever so less valuable than hers. "I'll do it, I'll do it...." as she walks away. Sounding just like my mother, The Martyred One.

I'm telling you. I'm ready to feed her to the sharks.

Ridiculous day

• So there was the lengthy non-service Customer Service call outlined earlier with FOX (grrrrrrrrr.......)



• I have also been trying to get our account cancelled with another Big Name Company (whose boilerplate claims to be "the world’s leading source of commercial information and insight on businesses." Fair enough, except they have priced themselves out of our budget. I called last month sometime to commence this process (bargaining them down on rates). After no rate quotes were forthcoming for three weeks, I called and left a message to cancel our account and send me a confirmation email/fax/snail mail. Two weeks, three calls, and an email (today), and we're finally set. At least it was cleared up before the budget year rolled over.



• CT has turned into a canker on the souls of the entire staff. It's gotten completely out of hand. I've heard at least three other people--besides me--ask, "Is it just me, or is she even worse than usual today/this week/lately?" No, it's not just you. Or you. Or you. With the director out of town this week, and all of us on our last nerve with CT, either someone is going to start WWIII or someone's going to have to tell her to back the hell off whatever is going on that's causing her constant harping, whining and complaining. Did I mention extreme unhelpfulness? Oh, yeah, that too: she will not help anyone out for even the shortest or easiest reasons...except when doing so would be the most useless 'help' possible.



• Sparky has a tux. That took an hour. Them 'r expensive suckers, too. sigh Oh, well, it's only money, right? Supporting the economy, right? ...we still need to figure out flowers. This looks like a $300 'date,' not counting her ticket(s), dress, or hair/nail appointments. I'm reverting back to my own high school point of view: What, precisely, is the point?



• Beast got a call from one of his customers today asking for help. The customer's company burned yesterday (?I think), and he's going to have to start over from scratch. What a huge bummer, though definitely not bad news for Beast's business. We both feel awful for the guy, though, and Beast is going to ask if there is anything we can do for the community, which apparently was pretty messed up by these wildfires.



• An hour or so ago I finally got around to checking Facebook, only to find that a blogger/Fb'er/Twit friend of mine found out from her son today that his speech teacher is a complete moron. Or as a commenter wrote, concisely: "Starts with a C. Rhymes with Bundt Cake." One does not make comments about who 'should be' allowed to parent. Apparently, in spite of being a Christian Speech Teacher, she never heard the one about casting the first stone, or even the one about living in a glass house. Ppl r toopud.

And now, I'm mixing a drink for myself. It's not even a full moon!! What is going on around here??

Edited @ 9:45 p.m. to add that the first Tweet I read this morning was this one: "New idea to save libraries. Be an opinionated, trusted "filter." Hire librarians with taste. Buy only excellent books. Guarantee quality." Yeah. That's radical and new. And utopian and impossible due to tax support. Do you know how many good friends I have who think The Shack is the Best Book Evah?!

Should have known from the moment I read that how the day was going to go.

Why I won't be watching Slumdog Millionnaire in this lifetime

First of all, I hate the title, and the premise. I could probably have worked around both, however, in light of all the positive reactions I've heard about it.

Then we found out that 20th Century Fox Searchlight released the DVD without the correct Extras stuff. [two links among many others] OK, so we called the toll free number that Amazon provided--note that Fox never contacted us, and neither did Amazon, so woe betide you if you don't read the news or have friends who do! In any case, there is a note on the Amazon page which I will quote verbatim because it's an indication of what I would call Good Customer Service:

DVD Alert: Fox apologizes that the special features are missing from a portion of the Slumdog Millionaire DVDs ordered before April 2, 2009. Fox has set up a hotline telephone number (1-888-223-4369) for those consumers who may have been affected. Upon calling the hotline, these consumers will be able to have their disc replaced for one containing special features. This issue does not occur on the Blu-ray version. Fox regrets any inconvenience this may have caused and is making every effort to expedite the replacement discs as quickly as possible.

Clear, concise information, courteously worded. Great.

So I called the number on or about April 8. Other libraries I'd talked to had gotten their discs replaced as quickly as overnight. Wow! GREAT service, eh? The dozens of patrons waiting to view one of our library's copies won't even notice that there was a switcheroo.

Not so fast. On April 14, when our new discs had not arrived, I called back and asked for help. Got disconnected. About 10 minutes later, I received a call that was ostensibly a rep calling from a list she had been working on before I called. And...ah...now I was told that because we purchased more than one of the movies, I need to find the invoice and fax a copy to Fox to prove that we really had bought three. And that will take another few days. So, I complained a little and said it would have been nice to know that LAST week. The voice at the other end said that the call desk wasn't told about multiple copies. They clearly weren't told to ASK about multiple copies, either, or we could have started this whole faxing thing then! So I was...ahem...disgruntled. I found the invoice, a miracle in itself since it was bills week and usually would have been outside the building being paid. I faxed the invoice to the number I was given. It went through, and I put it aside to wait for the @$&*ing discs to arrive.

They have not arrived today. I called and the operator eventually came back and said he'd have to 'research' this and he would call me back. I just got off the phone with his supervisor--the same woman with whom I spoke last week. Their story has changed yet again! They insist that the procedure has only changed once, but since this is the third and different thing I've been told, to me it feels like every time I call I get new directions. NOW, the rule is that they have to seen me mailing labels and I have to mail BACK the incorrect discs FIRST instead of after we receive the correct ones.

Frankly, this should have been the way it was handled from the beginning, for everyone regardless of how many copies were purchased. Even better : send out addressed return envelopes, but I can't complain about that since we are usually drowning in media mail envelopes. However, the issue here is that they had no record of my fax. They had no record of me calling. The whole angsty conversation last week apparently never happened.

And then...

...sigh...

...there was the clear insinuation that I had not actually faxed anything to start with. There have been several claims that we are the ONLY customer who has had trouble with this procedure, and absolutely no Customer Service. Just "here's what to do" and when I questioned why, was stonewalled and told "corporate told us to" handle it this way (last week and this week). The best part is that in the process of emailing me (another story in giving her my email address: said it, spelled it, said it--she'd screwed it up when she read it back) three mailing labels, and claiming to send 'two' ("Why two?" "Because I already sent one, so now I'm sending two more." "When did you send one?" "Just now." Really? Cuz there's nothing in my email...) which was confusing--and I'm an idiot for thinking so--I ended up talking to her supervisor. I said I'd gotten two emails and two labels and asked if I should just copy one; "NO! YOU HAVE TO HAVE THREE DIFFERENT ONES!"

All righty then. I only got two. So she says she'll have the other woman send me another and I said, "Right. I'll wait on hold while you do that." Big sigh from the other end, but when she came back she immediately said, "You have it now." Uh, no...see, email = not-instantaneous. Believe it or not.

Can I possibly be the only person who got tangled up in this nightmare? And what proof, really, do I have that I have mailed these discs back when I call next week because we STILL haven't gotten the damn things?

I did say several times that really, treating me with contempt and discourtesy wasn't really Customer Service, when actually it was YOU GUYS at Fox who screwed up. An apology, a real one without nasty eye rolling sounds, would have been nice. Really, one of these people thought I was blaming her personally for everything. omfg--'you' is a plural pronoun, you (singular, I hope to God) cloth-eared bint!

In any case, I have lost ANY inclination to watch this stupid movie, and I will be boycotting all 20th Century Fox products herewith (not such a big deal since I rarely see movies). Shit, if people can boycott WalMart for lousy customer service--someone with whom I work--I can boycott everything with "FOX" in it for being subhuman fucktards.

Not-bullets

1. Hey, it's poetry month! Hence the poems that have posted the past two days (oh, how I love post-dating!).



2. My Bloglines front page says I have "63 updated feeds" which include 367 unread posts. I also have 172 saved posts. I think this means I am officially buried.



3. I am caught up in tweets and Fb, though. Short Attention Span rules the day!



4. I am not loving Fb's 'update'. Just discovered that you can't do "less of/more of" individuals. People are either in your news feed, or not. That explains why I get RSS'd updates in Bloglines for Stephanie, Kyle, Kevin, et al., but never see 'em on Facebook; in the old incarnation they were "less of" but now they are invisible. Guess I'll create a 'group' of them so I can find them periodically. Stupid. How is this an upgrade, Fb??



5. Today I am meeting someone with whom I may be spending a great deal of time in the future, someone who may strongly influence my external happiness meter. Hope that goes well.



6. This weekend is crazy busy: local mission trip on Saturday (more on that, perhaps, later). On Sunday I'm playing in the bell choir at church which will be followed immediately by an Easter Egg hunt for the little kids. The youth group is going to hide the eggs, so as soon as worship is over, I have to go into supervision mode. Whee.



7. My mom's health is stable. That's all. I have not bought plane tickets. Not...quite...yet.



8. Found a shirt this morning in my closet I had forgotten about. It was with the summer shirts, but it's a long-sleeved T. Why, yes: I am wearing it today, as a matter of fact!



9. I'm nearly caught up in cataloging new materials at work, but suddenly feel absolutely swamped in projects. Graphic Novels, biogs, gifted videos and manga, calling STOOPUD publishers to cancel subscriptions (Dun&Bradsteet, you SUCK!) original cataloging, typos, fairy tales...the floodgates have opened.



10. Our system database manager at work needs to be punched in the face. This has nothing to do with anything else in this post. He just does. On principle.



11. Sparky has reverted to 100% teenager. Glad he's normal. Wish he'd pull his head out a little more often though.



12. The sun is out. This is a good thing, yo.

Waste

The boss asked me to be at a meeting with her this afternoon at a library about an hour from ours. Things got weird because of scheduling and then I got sick so I wan't sure what to expect when I got there.

First of all, we started over half an hour after she told me to be there, 10 minutes late according to the prescheduled starting time. At that point, I knew I was in trouble, since the handouts all pertained to something I've been using for about 5 years (maybe more). This is a component that all the directors should be using, but what was on display was a clear case of the Peter Principle among a couple of them (not mine). There's a new component that was recently added, but after 2 hours we still hadn't gotten to it.

I bailed at 3:50. Got back to Sparky's school to pick him up at 5. I will definitely submit my mileage for reimbursement, but it was a lot of time that would have been better spent sleeping.

People, really: Libraries are NOT safe places!!

So please, please, don't just dump your kids there and assume everything will be fine. Usually things go smoothly, but sometimes they don't.

Those of you who have been around awhile may remember this incident of inappropriate library behavior.

At least that incident was at least more or less consensual. The one today was--allegedly--not. Again, a 19-year-old was arrested, and again a minor was involved (not the same one as last time). This particular minor used to attend storytime with my son. This kid's mother just died last summer, and apparently the kid didn't want to call the police because Dad is drinking a lot more than he used to and isn't handling things well.

My heart hurts. And I'm very, very angry.

It's official

As of last night, I can post this:

Two full-time librarians are leaving MPOW this year. They are both retiring. One can't get out the door soon enough to suit me, but the other one I'm a bit sad to see go. Fortunately, the latter individual will be here further into the year than the former.

In any case, change is a-coming in 2009. There is angst within our staff. I'm sure there will be drama--there always is. But change can be fun too. I'm pretty excited about this, and relieved that I can finally 'go public' since I've been sitting on The Big Secret for a couple of weeks now. [to be clear, they are not retiring as a package--one announced awhile ago, but I haven't wanted to say anything]

And no, I'm not saying who is who on staff...not yet. ;-)

Friday Night Sprites

Mood: Pretty good
Hair: Lookin' good, if massively middle-aged
Eyes: Best they've felt all year
Listening to Watching: CSI:NY Season One "Rain"

I don't have to be at work till Tuesday. Wonderful. I don't intend to drive past or check in, though I will probably look at my email a couple of times.

Today I played.

Well, first I went and volunteered at the new high school library for a couple of hours and set up a regular schedule for that. Beautiful building/space. Nice collection too, even if the district does use F0llett. Some cool shelving on wheels.

THEN I came home and played. Now that I'm working on laundry, going up- and downstairs, I've realized that my legs are completely exhausted...from crawling around shelving books this morning. OMG.

---

WordSpy Word:

transliteracy: n., The ability to read and write using multiple media, including traditional print media, electronic devices, and online tools.

I think we are all going to have to develop transliteracy if we want to advance in today's marketplace. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing!

I think I missed the memo

Mood: OK
Hair: Keeping my neck VERY warm tonight
Eyes: Sore, but feeling better than they have in awhile
Listening to: Some random football game Beast turned on (the NFL network): Colts/Vikes. I dunno.

Where was it posted? Because it really does seem like "Let's Be As Dumb As Possible Week."

1. Saturday and Sunday were crazy-busy at work, due to the computers being psycho.
2. Then there was the email I posted yesterday.
3. Sarah Palin--every day something new. I can't even bear to read about her. This does NOT make me anti-woman. It makes me pro-humanity (and moose)!
4. People monkeying with their meds, because they are so much smarter than doctors--and then wondering why they are having medical problems.
5. The same person who wrote yesterday's email sent ANOTHER stupid one to the wrong person...long story.

[Edited: The corker today were a couple of emails, which I excerpted and edited, and published here. I have taken them down because…well, I didn’t ask for permission and the last thing I need is for her to stumble across them and “out” me. If you didn’t see the post, I will be happy to forward it to you if you email me at P*s*a*l*m*2*3 @gmail. Leave out the asterisks. Or IM me in the meebo window.

Trust me: it’s boring librarian stuff but it totally infuriated me.]


I can't wait till tomorrow. The stupidity just keeps growing.

---

Urban Word:

phuket thailand: a word [sic] used to express absolute astonishment!

Phuket Thailand, life is pissing me off this week!

Must be the moon

Mood: Fair
Hair: Probably fine, but flat
Eyes: OK right now
Listening to: Mike Rowe autopsying a shark

Publishers are insane. Or perhaps it's the fault of Cataloging-in-Publication institutions. I'm not sure. An hour of my day today was spent discussing by email what date to use as the publication date in a bib record: copyright or pre-publication (i.e., guess) date. Just precisely HOW can you say a book was "published" in 2007, but not copyrighted until 2008? 'Course, we had a stellar example show up in the middle of this discussion of exactly the reverse: a series of children's books "published" in 2008, but copyrighted in 2006.

In the interest of being informative, if you want to open a public library in an area already served by public libraries...there are some rules. You can't just plonk out a handwritten sign in front of any old crap-ass building and call yourself a library. "Let's put on a show!" is only cute if you're a kid. Grow up.

When OCLC/Connexion doesn't work, it's a problem. Last week I actually had pared two full carts of books down to one full cart. I'm not back up to two full carts again, since Friday. And Connexion picked this morning to crash.

Oh, and I live in an area that makes rural areas and small towns look bad. A sequel to "Deliverance" could be filmed here, but they'd have to import smarter and more attractive rubes.

I had a headache most of the day, too.

Some days it doesn't pay to get up outta bed.

---

Urban Word:

HTF: How the fuck.

One wonders, some days when surveying the panoply of humankind, HTF we ever could consider ourselves The Most Intelligent Species on Earth.

Ranty

OK, I've just read yet another cranky librarian posting about last month's meeting in Anaheim.* I'm so tired of this. One thing that pisses me off more about it is that there is clearly NO financial UNDERSTANDING for why we (librarians) hold meetings in warm venues in summer and in cold weather venues in winter.

Here's a hint: CO$T! It's ALL about money. My guess--and it is a guess--is that it runs several thousands of dollars less to book Anaheim (or Miami) in summer and Chicago (or Minneapolis) in winter. The hotels are also cheaper, and they are more willing to do deals on prices just to fill the rooms and get something. So are tourist things, if that's your thing, and restaurants and airlines. This means--listen up--it costs less for us to attend than it would if we went someplace Neato and Coolio like St. Louis in January or Boston in June.

And why Anaheim instead of L.A.? Hello? Go read paragraph #2. It's cheaper.

Why do I know this? Because I know people who work in the for-profit world. As much as that annoys me sometimes--huh--they have to justify the money they spend, and I will tell you all that there are times when they look at government (i.e. that would be us, kiddies) and are appalled at how clueless and retarded we are. So, chalk one up to ALA for saving money. ALA gets kudos for being financially responsibile on this count at least from me.

I was in Anaheim last month, across the street from Disney. I hate Disney. I'm not ridiculous about it--for instance, I don't hate it the way I hate terrorists or liver-and-onions--because I didn't feel compelled to partake in ANYthing Disney while I was there. I didn't eat, shop, ride, or enjoy ANYthing related to Disney, except 5 minutes of fireworks one night, in spite of practically marinating in Disneyfied air.

Guess what: I don't go to conferences to a) drink, b) eat gourmet food, c) have spa treatment, d) tour the vicinity, e) bitch about my host (i.e that would be Anaheim, kiddies). I go to LEARN. I go to enjoy some networking, to get excited about my job, to find out what might be coming down the pike, to meet some interesting people that I otherwise would not (and I assure you, I am NOT talking about the people doing most of the talking, though I did speak to Tim Spalding in the LibraryThing booth and congratulate him for being an instigator), to see an old place in new light or a new place period, and to get the FUCK away from work for a change of scenery!

So, Anaheim was hot, and there was a lot of concrete. So, I am out of shape. So, I am not thin. So, somehow--though I'm beginning to wonder if I imagined it--I hiked the distance to and from my cheap-ass motel (bar- and restaurant-free, mind you) and the conference site. I rode the shuttle bus precisely once, just to see how that worked. I walked 6-plus hours one day on concrete in exhibit halls and never once tried to steal anything that I "thought" was free but wasn't. I probably put three times more mileage on my feet in California than I do in the average month in 'real life.' And you know what? I could have gone several more days doing the same thing! It fucking was not that bad. Frankly, I felt crappier when I was on vacation in London four years ago walking (duh!) concrete streets and marble museum floors for a week.

The people who are bitching on their blogs about how AWFUL it was in Disn...er, Anaheim have a tone to their commentary that is very curious to me. It is the sound of cheerleaders talking down the Ugly Chick. It is the sound of Heather dismissing Martha Dumptruck. It is NOT the sound of a group of people I hope represent libraries or librarians now, nor do I hope these are the future leaders of the profession. I hope that librarians aren't a bunch of spoiled, whiny, and unbearably rude brats. I hope this because, while I was never Martha Dumptruck or the Ugly Chick in high school, one of the reasons I love the movie "Heathers" is because I enjoy watching a 100% pure bitch drink drain cleaner. It's very...cleansing.

Can we just get over ourselves and our liberal, white-bread, white-ass snobbery and gain some understanding of what the FUCK we were supposed to be there for?! And if you whiners can't figure out the last bit, at least stop griping about the carbon footprint of the conferences, the fact that California is notoriously based on driving instead of walking, the inanity of Disney, the perception that ALA is run by "Boomer Deadwood" and therefore toe-dally SUX!, and the lack of crunchy Trader-Joe-approved food. Use that energy to make your workplace better in a positive way.

I dunno. Maybe y'all just need to get laid. Or get stuffed. But please, for the love of Mike, shut up! It's enough to make this liberal-but-not-crunchy post-Boomer want to throw up a little on your self-righteousness. I remember being young and perfectly sure of the stupidity, hypocrisy, inanity, whatever-ity of The Oldies. Some of them annoy me still, now. But, what do you remember? Watching Ursula beat up on Ariel? Yeah. OK.

And what are you doing about it? Oh. Yeah. Working on that Second Life avatar that will change the world while simultaneously making a new LOLcat. Great. Let me know how all that works out for you. I'm sure you'll blog about it. Just remember: the people in Anaheim that you are talking trash about are PEOPLE who can READ your BLOG and be OFFENDED about how UNPLEASANT some LIBRARIANS are being about the place they LIVE. How would you feel if they were talking your hometown down that way?

And yes, believe it or not, I do get the irony. Because, you know what? Irony has been around...awhile.

---

Word Spy Word:

kindergarchy: n. Rule or domination by children; the belief that children's needs and preferences take precedence over those of their parents or other adults.

Do I really need to explain why I chose the word kindergarchy to end this post? OK, here's the thing: I'm not against people younger than me. I just don't want the good-hearted ones I know to be overrun by the Asshats with Attitude, a.k.a. Kindergarchs.

---

* No, I'm not about to link to any of them. If you haven't read any of them, and care to, go Google 'em all up.

Pushing the ball uphill

Mood: OK
Hair: Well, it was washed this morning, but at this point...
Eyes: Itchy, but ok
Listening to: The intro to the 3rd Pirates of the Caribbean movie

So, I've been trying to keep up with the feeds in the library part of my blogroll all weekend, at the same time I'm trying to figure out a way of keeping track of them for posterity. Thank God for Bloglines' "Clippings" feature!

Still, I was completely caught up this morning with new posts. There are 58 new posts in TWO feeds right now. Those people on Autocat--which is responsible for 44 of the new posts--really need to get a life. Obviously, I haven't read today's posts, but...shit, guys. Do you actually have jobs?! Or are you paid by the post? ...sigh... I guess I need to get a job as an academic librarian, or as a real management type.

{grumble}

OK, fine, then I'll go read 'em.

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Word Spy Word:

hectivity: n. Hectic activity.

Keeping ahead of these posts is certainly a lesson in hectivity.

Proof I'm not a "money person"

Beast told me last night after he did some sort of financial boogety-boo with the online accounts that he had just added several thousand dollars to his (i.e., our) retirement savings. I think. Or something. It has to do with stocks. Or stock options. Or...well, something. Anyway, there's more theoretical money there, which appeared in a matter of half an hour.

I'm 44. Perhaps I should find a better clue about this stuff, eh?

I don't understand electricity either.

I do, however, know how to find the answer to this question: "We're looking for a book about an Air Force pilot who was shot down.* I don't know the title or his name, or any authors' names, but it was from the last ten years or so."

Also, I like this bookshelf (and the site where I found it):

______________
* She was looking for Scott O'Grady. We figured it out because he ate ants.

Why I Love the Public (pt. ...uh...4,000,000,000?)

The phone at the Reference Desk rang last night at 8:43, just as I was about to make the "we're closing, go home you manky dolts!" annoucement.

"Is there...do you know how...{pause} OK, are you busy? Can you just come up to the circ desk for a sec?" It's Thursday night just following a wing-dinger of a thunderstorm--of course it's not busy. I debate making the announcement and then decide that whatever's going on up front can be handled quickly and THEN I'll chuck people out.

So I arrived up front. As I round the corner to the circ desk, I realize with that I was far too optimistic. My current least-favorite Thursday night regular is standing there, Mr. I've-Been-Hacked-on-the-Library's-Computers. Dude has hit several of us up about people getting his password and logging onto his account and using his time!!! Oh the horror of that! He was so demanding about it the first time--several months ago--that we went ahead and created a new library card so he could start over fresh because he insisted that changing his password on the old card wouldn't stop people from continuing to hack in.

Mind you, all they seemed to be doing thus far was using his time. To clarify, everyone gets an hour a day, which is shown on the screen when you first log in. If you've already been in and checked your email once at 10 a.m. and come back at 3, the timer will say something like "34 minutes" indicating that you have used 26 minutes already.

So about two months ago, dude comes FLYING up to me while I'm helping someone at the Ref Desk: "Someone has hacked my account! They've used my time. I just got here and it's telling me I've already used up part of my hour! I haven't..." Since I was helping someone else at the time, I told him to go log off for now and I'll come figure it out when I've finished with the people ahead of him in line. He was huffy, but I got to him quickly. Of course, he is (always) using the computer farthest away from the Ref Desk--and the rest of humanity--so it's a hike. When he logs back on, he points to the timer and says, "SEE?? SEEE???????? It says I only have 27 minutes left! But I haven't been here ALL DAY!" I look at the time, check my watch, and say, "Well, it is a little confusing, yes, but the fact is that we close in about 27 minutes, so that's all the time you have left today...because the computer will automatically shut down then."

"BUT SOMEONE USED MY TIME!!!" I go through the mechanics of what I had just said several more times and he eventually settled down with some grumbling.

However. Last night. OMG.

He logged on. Someone had used his time again. (same reason, duh) Plus, when he got into the start screen, there were two email accounts open on the desktop. Now THIS is weird: when people log off, the hard drive is supposed to be wiped clean of every-damn-thing they've been doing. He wrote down the email addresses and then proceeded on to use the internet. And logged out.

And then came to the circ desk to get a new library card. Because SOMEONE HAS HACKED INTO HIS ACCOUNT! [Pay attention--you'll love this next part.] See, those two people who left their email accounts logged in? They were hacking him. From those email accounts. Yeah. Because, somehow they knew he would be the next person in, and they could sit at another computer somewhere and log into their email and...what? This is not a party line on a phone where everyone can talk to everyone through any receiver they've left off the hook (i.e. any computer they've logged into their email with). Is it?

For the love of Pete.

So I told him that a) no one had used his time, it was just counting down till closing; b) he needs to tell us immediately when he sees the computer doing something he thinks is bad--like having other people's email still open after he logs in!; c) what you are suggesting is technically highly improbable (hell, it could be possible--how do I know?).

Then I told him again.

And again. And again. I even, at one point, say, "Look, you have to come get us as soon as you see something weird. After all, you don't go to the doctor a week after you stop throwing up to find out what made you sick last week, right?"

Luckily, he had to "leave for work."

Once he left, I made the #)@$*% Closing Announcement. Then I talked to ILL Tyrant--who had called me for help--and she said she had basically gone through the whole thing with him and he wasn't listening. Then Sout’ Sider said the whole hot mess had started with him demanding a new library card because (all together now) his account had been hacked!!

Dude is terminally nutso. He doesn't seem to be capable of getting unstuck from this one subject. But yet, he will sit down at a potentially buggy computer and open his own email and type in who-knows-how-many other passwords? And he will continually use a computer that he thinks has messed him up innumerable times rather than using any one of the other 30 in the building?

So, I have a list of stuff from last night to go over with the boss this morning:

-- Mr. I've-Been-Hacked-on-the-Library's-Computers
-- the non-functional Line 3 that went out during the storm last night
-- the missing emergency light that used to be at the Ref Desk that is MIA now
-- the fact that the pages don't have time to shelve and there are probably close to 100 abandoned books lying all over the nonfiction area since last Thursday when I cleaned all the tables off PLUS the cartload of stuff that's been sitting since the beginning of June next to the Ref Desk
....

Hee.

This is why she gets paid the big bucks.

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Urban Word:

combat nap: That 5-10 minute nap that you have to take when your body is completely exhausted and your mind is over stressed. Happens if you want it or not, and you usually wake up feeling like you've had a full night's rest.

I really could've used a combat nap last night at about 8:45.

The Best Political Book EVER!

Is this one:
Why? Here's the text from the first page:

One Monday morning in September,
Mrs. Barrington rolled out a big poster
with all of the presidents' pictures on it.
Grace Campbell could not believe her eyes.

"Where
are the
GIRLS?"

Indeed. This book explains the electoral college to kids barely able to read, not to mention the obvious topic. Very cute kids, including Grace, of course.

FYI and stuff and more than

Mood: mmm...okay, I guess
Hair: clean, styled...takin' names
Eyes: meh
Listening to: The Blowers (it's freakin' COLD in here and I forgot my new shawl. Again.

So, this is directed at the librarians who may be reading. I just left a semi-snarky anonymous comment on the latest very snarky post by The Annoyed Librarian (that phrase, in pink, is of course as redundant as can be), which is about the ALA conference. Apparently, she was at a different venue from the one I attended. Entirely. 100%. Note that I'm not linking. She's not particularly hard to find, but I've discovered that Pure Snark gets to be Purely Tiresome quickly. On the other hand, my comment is not obviously snarky, so at least I haven't descended to her level. Hah. (oh, the irony) And see my previous post re pomposity.

Oh, well. Just sayin'. If you haven't got anything nice to say, shaddup. So I am. Goodbye.

---

Urban Word:

Shituation: n.: a bad situation, 2.: a dramatic, usually negative happening resulting in utter shit in one's life.

Houston, we have yet another shituation in the family. But since I don't want to talk about it--yet--I'm taking out my frustration on other annoyances in my life.

Pffftttttt.....

Conference People

Mood: Good, but a bit jet-lagged
Hair: whatever
Eyes: ditto
Listening to: ads, and "Deadliest Catch" (Phil is coughing up blood and refusing medical care)

So, yeah. I was in Anaheim, across the street from Disneyland, for the last 4-plus days. (see below for best cynical description of the conference) I had a blast, learned some stuff, ate a lot of rubber chicken for lunch, and appreciated the California weather if not the smog. I now feel totally less stupid about what's coming up in the future of my job. We use far-too-freakin-many acronyms, by the way.

I also gelled my sense that lots of people in the profession are pompous asses. By the way, there's no age exclusion for that--there seem to be just as many asshat 30-year-olds as 55-year-olds. I'll match you name for name. You start. Go on.

People are fun to watch, though. My feet hurt. I shipped 10 lbs. of stuff from the exhibits, and could have done another 10 easily had I wanted to stand in line for another box. Instead, I just practiced better packing principles...and used two of the six free bags I picked up.

Glad to be home. Don't really want to go to work tomorrow...because I got the most retarded email EVER from Schedule Nazi while I was gone. She is 100% idiot. {{newsflash}} Not really: it's common knowledge.

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Urban Word:

interesting: (adj) Something which arouses no interest at all.

Used to politely avoid admitting this, which indirectly expresses your indifference.

When attending a conference with 25,000 other librarians, sometimes the best thing to say is "Gee, that was interesting."