Message?

Yesterday, while searching through the boxes we brought home from Beast's parents' house last summer, Beast found a wrapped Christmas gift for Sparky. We could tell right away that it was a video, wrapped in Christmas paper with a tag on it. The tag was yellowing, so this was obviously not a recent purchase. Well, that and the fact that it was a video (not a DVD or game)!

Turns out that Sparky has a new (to him) version of Mother Goose Rhymes in Song.

I'm thinking this gift is 15 years old, or so. Flashback.



[Anyone still have a VCR and want this?]

Oh how I hate flurries!

Doesn't it always seem that bad news travels in a pack? I've certainly seem my share of personal (i.e. family) bad news, but when I broaden the scope, here's what I see scattered around:

• A dear friend whose doctor needs to have evil things done to him for ignoring her phone calls for weeks until she showed up in his exam room in early-stage organ failure because of medication he prescribed! [this brings up ghosts from my childhood and freaks me way the fuck out in very abnormal ways]
• Someone who is hospitalized tonight because of a fall a couple of days ago.
• A coworker who's father died just under a month ago.
• My sister needs a tuneup in her brain electrodes, but there are some issues there. Long story. Of course.
• Another friend who's mother died about 10 days before mine.
• And a couple of others' whose parents are at the stage my mom was at about 5 months ago.
• People forgetting the whole "innocent till proven guilty in a court of law" thing. Accusation doesn't equal fact.
• Ongoing medical issues with another friend who has, essentially, had a headache since November. Every day. Can you imagine dealing with a three-year-old 24/7 with a headache? Yeah. Doctors have no idea. Doctors suck.
• Gout in another family member. Though that's easing due to--of all things!--cherries.
• Stupid men involving themselves in extramarital situations and having their lives destroyed over it (not to mention the lives of their wives and families). Guys: KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS, and your pants zipped/glued shut!
• The legal maneuvering over my mom's broken leg is still hanging fire in our family. See footnote here.
• The economy is hitting home in libraries across the country. Ohio is slashing and burning its way through their astoundingly fabulous libraries. Our city is sending ominous links via email to articles about other communities' belt-tightening as we approach the budget planning sessions for 2010-11.
• Schedule Nazi just doesn't seem to understand that some of us never want to see her again.
• PTF pissed me off this week in a way that he hasn't achieved for months. Possibly over a year, in fact. Over something insanely stupid. Of course. What else is new?
• [whinge] I work Tuesday-Friday this week. I'm going to ALA on Saturday--just for the exhibits--all day. I work Sunday; Sundays S U C K! And then I work Monday-Thursday next week. So basically I'm working 7/7-16 every day.[/whinge] The problem is exacerbated by the feeling like I'm at work for 7 or so hours daily and get virtually no cataloging done. Since that's the part of my job I love the most, I'm getting whinier and whinier about it, not to mention behind-er.
• Our super-wonderful senior shelvers will be leaving for college in 5 weeks or so. WAAAAAHHHH!!! Am so sad about this. For me; not for them, of course.

There's also the fact that the new director, while starting to get her legs under her as far as the job goes, is still needing a LOT of information regularly. And we've undertaken to make some rather ginormous changes in some of of our major work procedures...there's a lot of stress. I like change. These will be good changes when they are all in place and understood...but it's hard.

This is the sort of mood where I probably could use a large glass of wine (or two), but I'm too afraid of using alcohol as a crutch (family history + ) so I probably won't. But the inside of my skin itches from all this drama and angst and things to think about that I don't even know where to start. Gah.

!!!!!!

Happy Anniversary to us!
23 years??
We have now officially been married longer than we were single.

To celebrate, we're going to Katherine and Alan's for a family cookout. It'll be interesting to see if they realized that two couples attending today have anniversaries (the other one is Tuesday); maybe she ordered a cake.

More likely, pigs will fly.
I am SUCH a bitch...

See ya soon, Mom

Mom found her escape from pain at about 9:15 p.m. last night.

Quick turnaround

I'm flying to Colorado tomorrow. I feel that I have to, not only for my future peace of mind, but for Mom's current peace of mind. I also feel like I need to give my sister a break on carrying the load. She's tough but this stage of things is particularly hard to deal with alone. My other sister simply can't physically be here, and my brother has (apparently) checked out of things. Neither of Marie's daughters (nor any other grandchildren) are picking up the slack either. That leaves me.

A word to the wise: chickens really do come home to roost. And you reap what you sow. I'm not going to explain that except to say that when you treat people with love and respect and understanding, usually they'll return the favor.

I bought a return ticket that is non-refundable, so clearly I expect to return on Wednesday regardless of where things stand with Mom. I'm not sure if that makes me an optimist or not.

In the meantime, Beast has a business trip around a fairly close-by portion of his sales territory, so Sparky is going to travel with him, spend lots of time in hotel rooms (and the car), and bond with Dad. They'll actually leave tomorrow too and return home sometime Thursday.

My short-term goal tomorrow: don't cry in public. This means, in effect, "Don't think. Distractions are good!"

My long-term goal for the week: ....

As usual, I have none beyond getting through it alive and with some shreds of my pride and mental health intact. I have pretty low standards.

Marie and Jan do have a computer, so I'll be able to check in, but not to the level that is "normal" for me. So, I'll see you all Wednesday or Thursday.

Short and not-so-sweet

Mom's in a coma. At this point, I can't make decisions about anything because she could be fine tomorrow, or not.

This
sux.

As Beast pointed out, at least we're here, not in the middle of last week (i.e., nowhere) with no phone service.

[edited 6:30 a.m. 6/24: And, as usual, it was a false alarm. She woke up and ate something yesterday after all.]

Roll With It

When life is too much, roll with it, baby
Don't stop and lose your touch, oh no, baby
Hard times knocking on your door, I'll tell them you ain't there no more
Get on through it, roll with it, baby

Steve Winwood (not an artist I like, but, well, the lyrics fit)

So.

Beast is in Memphis on a last-hurrah business trip this week. He got a call this afternoon from his boss. Apparently the past week...? Specifically last Tuesday? Forget it ever happened.

As in "Nevermind."

As in they aren't laying him off after all.

Confused? Yep. Relieved? You betcha! Corporate America is weird.

It was bound to happen, really

Starting July 1, Beasty will be available for appearances--for pay--anywhere across the country.
Well, honestly, why be picky: he'd take a job almost anywhere right now!

Medical checkin

We took FIL out to dinner last night in honor of MIL's 72nd birthday. We had a good time, he got a little snockered on JB-BL, but a good time was had by all (except Sparky who was so bored his head hit the table for a nap at one point). Upon departure, FIL bumped up against a fixture and that was enough to open up the skin on his arm and he started to bleed like crazy. His skin on his arms is the thickness of a Kleenex. Sigh. Fortunately, this isn't painful--it's just like if anyone else bumped into something lightly--but it's embarrassing and messy. We had to go back inside and ask for multiple napkins and paper towels for him.

Meanwhile, Mom is in the hospital. She has had a bedsore for several months and it needs to be surgically debrided (?) or something. Anyway, it's very painful and her leg is still mending* so she's getting morphine constantly, and she isn't eating very well (and yesterday, due to crap hospital care, her blood sugar hit 39--they had forgotten she's diabetic and hadn't IV'd her or fed her all day)...and my sister is having to leave town for a week, and my brother (normally the geographically closest) is in Denmark (or Sweden?) for a couple of weeks...so that leaves me as the backup in case something happens and one of us kids needs to be there. My sister's husband is there, of course, but he's a PiTA, and I don't trust him very far.

Gah.

Old
Age
SUX!

_________
*I never mentioned here, I guess, that she slid out of her wheelchair in the nursing home van last month when it stopped suddenly. When she landed, her knee-replacement torqued around funny and broke off the end of her femur. Yeah. Fun. We've contacted a lawyer, primarily because we're pretty sure they didn't attached the straps right. We don't want money, just a clear procedure on how to not injure other patients! And she's 87 and frail so healing takes bloody-forever.

Youngest (Rant Alert)

This will come as no surprise to anyone who is the youngest sibling--and possibly anyone else towards the bottom of the list in multi-child families.

Being the youngest makes us (me) a little thin-skinned about being treated like a baby. Yes, sometimes we regress and sometimes we can be spoiled little kids, not to mention somewhat lighter-hearted and flaky than Oldests and even Middles.

The issue is that I've always been WAAAAY younger than everyone in my family (of birth); not just a little younger, WAAAAY younger. And when I was 10, it was appropriate to treat me like a kid.

With four older sibs of my own I have done my best over the years to 'grow up' and be myself. I have also worked (mostly) for and with people older than me. Most of the time, I defer. Most of the time, I'm OK with being the younger/dumber one. Mostly I understand that "Oldests" and my elders may actually have some information about life that I haven't yet accrued.

I can't tell you how tired I am becoming of (some of) the older-than-me Boomers.

And I really. really. really. do. not. need. anymore people in my life who treat me like their kid sister. Cuz,

1. I'm 45, thus patently NOT a kid [even if I cry too often for some peoples' comfort];



2. None of my siblings are around here, and for good reason. [why do you think they are all far away? Hmmm, let's let that percolate for awhile, eh?];



3. Even my sibs don't treat me like this (often) anymore [although I know someone who might disagree with this rather vehemently].



4. I'm not an idiot.

So yeah, please, if you don't mind, I'd like to spend some of my adult, workplace years at least attempting to impersonate a grown-up. Here's a list for you if you aren't clear on things:

1. If I'm crying, it's not necessarily your fault, and I'm not doing it to upset you. Usually. huh I understand that there may have been a disagreement that preceded the crying, but, truly, it is not all about YOU. I'm aware of that. You can't "make me" cry. So stop assuming ... well, everything, frankly.



2. When I'm being treated like a child, it's quite likely that my first response is going to be childish. I may snap at you. I may bark. That's my issue and I am trying to deal with it. I will almost always be the first to apologize for doing so, but jeez, just once in awhile would it kill you to go first?!



3. Don't ignore me.
   Don't talk over me.
   Don't patronize me and/or be condescending.
   Don't assume I can't handle the realities of life.
   Don't keep secrets from me, and gossip around me without including me.
   Don't tell me you were "just kidding" when you were being a bitch or a prick, because that is what precedes "Can't you take a joke??", at least in my head.
   In short, don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining (ty, Judge Judy).



4. Examine your behavior once in awhile. You are NOT the Omphalos for anyone but your own beautiful self. Accept appropriate accolades gracefully but don't assume you 'deserve' them.



5. For most of the world: I'm not your sister. Don't assume I need a big brother/big sister to get be through life. I don't. Really. I'm good. Go (the fuck) away already!



6. Did I mention apologize first sometimes? Oh, yeah, I did.

I've always liked people younger than me better, overall. I used to worry that it was because I could lord it over them--there may be some of that--but young people at least have the courtesy of not treating me like a baby. [I'm sure that will come when I reach old age! I'm going to be quite a cranky old person if that happens, though.]

Like Aretha, I'm just asking for a little respect.

Weekend

May is the stupid-busiest month of the year for anyone with kids in school. I realized this about 7 years ago when I noticed all my mom-friends with multiple kids losing their minds by May 10. It doesn't help that May is also when the yard starts needing attention, several summer sports start up, and allergies kick in for those who suffer from pollen sensitivities. The good news is that April and its showers are over; the bad news is that the flowers and trees are ALL blooming.

[Aside: as someone who has year-round allergies to--as someone at work put it yesterday--"everything known to mankind," I have to say that people with seasonal allergies make me laugh, when I'm not rolling my eyes internally. Rolling them for real hurts right now. Yeah. Cry me a river, folks--this is my baseline, my starting position year-round.]

OK, bitchy aside over. I really haven't felt good all week. That's my excuse, and mostly my bitching has been internal or venting to two Very Specific People. But the allergy thing for me is kinda like me complaining about a headache to one of those people, or a backache to the other.

See how I get distracted?

I was going to talk about schedules in May. When Sparky was in Little League this was the middle of the 'season' and there were games 2-3 times each week. There always seems to be extra homework this month, and of course major projects are coming due. The end-of-year concerts, plays, and programs are in May. The pressure is on everywhere, which means time is at a premium.

There are, of course, non-kid-related activities that have to be fit in as well. The regular grind of appointments and schedules--cleaning, cooking, maintenance, etc. And, if you want to have a social life, that's always fun to try to fit in.

So this weekend, here's our schedule:

FRIDAY: I will be doing laundry all day, and tidying our Disaster Zone (i.e. house). Beast left at 7:30 to cover several appointments for himself and his dad, and he will be spending at least 2 hours in teleconferences later today. Sparky has school all day followed by football training--yeah, I haven't mentioned that heretofore, have I? We will pick him up from school and then head to a hotel for tonight. He is attending a manga/anime conference tonight and tomorrow morning and early on I volunteered to make it easier on him and get a room for us nearby so he doesn't lose so much time traveling back and forth. Beast and I will probably go see a movie (Star Trek?) tonight while Sparky is manga-ing.

SATURDAY: Conference-y stuff in the morning. We will check out late and snag him from the conference by 1:00 or so and head home, stopping for corsage pickup on the way. Sparky will shower out of his anime "persona"--I didn't mention the costume aspect, did I?--and pack up for his evening activities. There's a tux involved. And a swimsuit for later. He needs to be at his date's house by 3:30 for pictures, and then they will head to the high school to catch the bus at 5:00. They will be gone for approximately 12 hours, arriving back from post-prom about 4:45. A. M. Maybe Beast and I will go see another movie in the evening. I know we'll need to go to the grocery store at some point.

SUNDAY: One of us needs to pick up Sparky at o'dark-hundred and bring him home and pour him into bed. Maybe we'll get another hour or two as well, but Beast and I will need to be out of the house by about 11 because we have tickets to see the Broadway traveling show of Mary Poppins. We will be gone till close to 6 Sunday night. At some point during the day, Sparky will need to do his homework and get all his tux stuff back together. Oh. And it's Mother's Day.

Monday I will get back on the daily schedule stuff, but I need to take the tux back.

Sigh.

Next week is German Honor Society induction. There's another band concert on the horizon. We have fundraiser stuff we need to deliver. I need to schedule a physical for Sparky for football. Things are reaching crunch time for prep for our youth group mission trip and there is a TON of stuff to do for that. Oh, and there is a retirement party for someone at work, and the changes that will come when her replacement begins. And it seems like everyone I know over the age of 80 is ending up in the hospital and/or nursing care this spring. That could stop. Please.

So yeah. I may not be around here much.

[this took me almost two hours to write--but there is laundry in progress, and I've started to think through the rest of the day at home]

Hard job?

I don't really want to do either job in this exchange, but I know which one is really the hardest.

Note: I'm note posting this on Facebook because so many "mommy" friends are there. If you have access to my Fb and this blog, chances are real good that you are a friend who is a mom, not a "mommy" friend. I like my friends--all of them--but that site is a healthy reminder that screaming babies and discussions of episiotomies are not really what makes the rest of the world roll witcha. And also...I'm SO GLAD that Sparky is past the stage of poopy-butt. Now he's just poopy-brained sometimes. ;-)

Our Buddy

...curled up and went to sleep in the corner of the cage for the last time last night.

Sparky found him this morning.

RIP, dude, RIP.

Buddy with Ruka behind him, Fall 2008

[edited to add photo]

Mah baby

...is escorting a friend to prom.

She's a junior so she wants to go but couldn't finagle a 'date' (i.e., scheme her way into getting a guy to ask her, so props to her). She Fb'd Sparky last night and asked if he was willing. [Cuz she has to get tickets tomorrow]

They'll have fun. He's like the official fallback position for several girls he knows.

I'm amused. Now we have to figure out this tux thing...

Not-bullets

1. Hey, it's poetry month! Hence the poems that have posted the past two days (oh, how I love post-dating!).



2. My Bloglines front page says I have "63 updated feeds" which include 367 unread posts. I also have 172 saved posts. I think this means I am officially buried.



3. I am caught up in tweets and Fb, though. Short Attention Span rules the day!



4. I am not loving Fb's 'update'. Just discovered that you can't do "less of/more of" individuals. People are either in your news feed, or not. That explains why I get RSS'd updates in Bloglines for Stephanie, Kyle, Kevin, et al., but never see 'em on Facebook; in the old incarnation they were "less of" but now they are invisible. Guess I'll create a 'group' of them so I can find them periodically. Stupid. How is this an upgrade, Fb??



5. Today I am meeting someone with whom I may be spending a great deal of time in the future, someone who may strongly influence my external happiness meter. Hope that goes well.



6. This weekend is crazy busy: local mission trip on Saturday (more on that, perhaps, later). On Sunday I'm playing in the bell choir at church which will be followed immediately by an Easter Egg hunt for the little kids. The youth group is going to hide the eggs, so as soon as worship is over, I have to go into supervision mode. Whee.



7. My mom's health is stable. That's all. I have not bought plane tickets. Not...quite...yet.



8. Found a shirt this morning in my closet I had forgotten about. It was with the summer shirts, but it's a long-sleeved T. Why, yes: I am wearing it today, as a matter of fact!



9. I'm nearly caught up in cataloging new materials at work, but suddenly feel absolutely swamped in projects. Graphic Novels, biogs, gifted videos and manga, calling STOOPUD publishers to cancel subscriptions (Dun&Bradsteet, you SUCK!) original cataloging, typos, fairy tales...the floodgates have opened.



10. Our system database manager at work needs to be punched in the face. This has nothing to do with anything else in this post. He just does. On principle.



11. Sparky has reverted to 100% teenager. Glad he's normal. Wish he'd pull his head out a little more often though.



12. The sun is out. This is a good thing, yo.

Quite quiet

We're watching Dirty Jobs. Mike is reaming out the sewer in Rifle, CO. This is near where my mom and sister live. Another town nearby is Silt. Imagine living in those towns! Yuck.

I'm as caught up on blogs, Fb and Twitter as I wish to be tonight and will soon be going upstairs for a bath. And then bed, early, so I can get up early and face Bible Study at 6:30 tomorrow. Yes. That's a.m.

Sparky is on his laptop watching (and, with earbuds, listening to) videos, having worked a bit on his Spring Break homework. His ACEN pass arrived in the mail today so he's pretty stoked, and that reminded me that he "needs" a fishnet/mesh shirt for his costume for that. [I think that's the hairstyle he's going for on a regular basis, except with his natural auburn hair color, and for ACEN, pinky-red falls/inserts. My kid = weird.]

Beast is downloading TurboTax. It sounds like the CD-ROM is sucking and grinding data right into the hardware of his laptop. Then it's quiet for a bit. Then it starts grinding away again. Weird.

My mom is stable. I didn't mention last week that our oldest employee at work (she's 96, I think) fell at home and hit her head. Sparky and I stopped by to see her at the hospital today. She's in remarkable shape, really, but not really herself again. Apparently she is MUCH improved since Friday, however.

All I did at work today was email, unload my desk and triage everything piled on it, download orders/input records/place holds, and cover two public desks for an hour each. It was terrifically busy. If anyone thinks the economy isn't affecting people, come on in the library. It's constant now. That's good, right?

The boys are going to Ohio for a couple of days later this week for some paperwork and stuff regarding FIL's belongings there. It'll be me and the guinea pigs. That will be quiet.

I think that's all the news that's fit to print, or worth blogging, or whatever the new cliché is.

And with that, and following close at Sparky's heels, I'm headed up to the sleeping storey where I will take a long, hot bath and go to bed. Yawn.

Gah

My sister called the other night around 9. She was in the waiting room at the hospital nearest their house, waiting (duh) for Mom to be transported from another hospital. Apparently, the nursing home van was taking her to the podiatist when the driver stopped short and the straps holding Mom in her wheelchair failed and she fell out. The upshot is that her right femur is broken just above her knee.

C'mon, God. Enough. Please?

All Things Come to Those Who Wait

Beast and Sparky have had colds for what seems like forever. It was inevitable, then, that I come down with one (or both) of their infections. And I have. Yuck. At least it held off till after Youth Sunday and mini-golf. I have the classic draining of the sinuses into my throat, sinus headache, and (as a twist) a very achy back. I'm not sure the latter is connected to the infection, but it's about as uncomfortable as you can get without actually seeing a doctor.

Meh.

Poor, pitiful me. <--not

Rolling with the punches

The Plan:

- Get up a little later than usual
- Get Sparky on his way to school
- Check email/twitter/Fb/Bloglines after a long dry-spell last night where we had no access to the 'net
- Help Beast finish preparing for his week-long trip (which combines family stuff and work stuff and is pretty complicated)
- Wave goodbye to Beast
- Go to the grocery store
- Other projects and errands
- Meet extended family members for dinner

The Actuality, as it stands now:

- Get up later than I planned
- Get Sparky on his way to school
- Start checking the 'net stuff
- Beast finished packing after a night spent in the recliner (oops--never came to bed!)
- Phone call from FIL's place saying his blood sugar crashed and they called 911
- Now in the midst of multiple calls to all and sundry to see what impact this has on FIL's schedule (dialysis, etc.), and to make sure 911 has things under control
- ....[see post title]

Drama

Sparky stayed after school yesterday to lift weights. He's doing that to prepare for football tryouts. Whatever. Meanwhile, I had to do a presentation for a Girl Scout troop at work so we knew he'd have to wait a bit when he finished.

He called just as I started the presentation saying he couldn't find his wallet. There was no way I could stop what I was doing, so I told him he'd have to work it out with his coach.

No dice. They looked everywhere. We finally decided that it must have fallen out when he changed pants and landed unnoticed on the floor where someone picked it up. He was devastated. Angry, upset, crying, yelling...yeah. Fun night.

Fast forward to this morning. I went with him to school to talk to the administrators. The vice principal took a report and said she'd investigate. I asked about the police and she sort of treated it as if I wanted to make an insurance claim (?!). Whatever again. I went to the cops directly from school and reported the theft.

Long story short, the officer went over and interviewed several students and eventually the wallet was recovered, minus Sparky's driving permit and yearbook receipt. He got all the cash and gift cards and library card back, though. Turns out the doofus hadn't actually closed his locker after changing; the other kid saw the wallet in the open locker and snagged it.

So what did I learn? Go to the cops first. Involve the school second. There is at least one cop in our town that is hysterically funny, and just a good guy. [He 'yelled' at Sparky for having such awful handwriting in the statement he wrote up last night.]

So at some point this week, we have to face down the licensing people and get a replacement permit. And I'll talk to the yearbook people at school about the situation--he's supposed to present the receipt to pick up his book in May. Since I volunteer with the people coordinating the yearbook, it's kinda not gonna be a problem.

We have not been told the name of the student who did this, but he has been suspended for a week (I think) and I'm sure the grapevine will pass along his name to Sparky PDQ. I feel bad for his parents, who had to stand there and watch the cop search their son's dirty laundry today. I'm very grateful it wasn't us on that side of the equation. Hopefully, Sparky learned a few lessons from this. For one thing, maybe carrying $100+ in gift cards in your wallet is kind of a stupid idea. Especially to school! d'oh

And it turned out all right, for us. Silver linings.