This Much Is True

I actually cooked dinner tonight. That's pretty shocking. 'Course, we ate in front of the TV, so my Good Mom Balance Sheet comes up short as a result of that, but homemade pork chops. Right.

We're all home tonight. That's rare. Sparky's in the office, I'm watching Deadliest Catch, and Beast is cutting wood in the basement and working on the plate rail in the kitchen. We're not exactly together, but we're all in the house.

There was cataloging achieved today. In the spirit of keeping to the positive, I will only briefly touch on the irony of Schedule Nazi leaving me a stack of kids' books with a note saying, "Please do these soon so they are ready for Summer Reading Program." My response? Fatfuckin'chance. They are on the cart with the rest of the Skinny Kids' Books. I will get to those when I get the Bottom Shelf emptied off, and the Order Record Conundrum resolved. That is, not soon.

I'm rereading the Laura books. It's time. It's probably at least the 10th time through them all in my life. Every time I read them, I find something else I didn't notice previous times.

This is our only night at home this week. Last night we were gone till after 7:30. Tomorrow night the boys have haircuts at 5 and then there's a meeting at the high school at 7.

Thursday is another nursing care facility interview at 4 followed by a band concert at 7. Oh, and I'm scheduled to work till 9 as usual. I think I'm not going to the band concert.

Friday is my day off. I have a haircut, Sparky is staying at school till 5:30, and we need to pack for our trip. I'm sure we need to deal with laundry too.

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Urban Word:

foul-weather friend: The opposite of a fair-weather friend, a foul-weather friend only seeks you out if they have a problem, need a shoulder to cry on, a ride to town or someone to watch their dog, but otherwise they act as if they don't even know you. They're only your chum when they're glum.

There are a couple of people around whom I feel like I've been acting like a foul-weather friend lately. I probably need to stop that.

Labels: Around the House, Friends, Life, Work

Mood: much better, thanks!
Hair: clean, needs color
Eyes: much improved; the doctor even says so
Listening to: the hum of the laptop, the chittering of the guinea pigs, and Sparky chewing

A much better week is in front of me (I hope). The weekend was fun, relaxing, separate from my life, and that was perfect.

Saturday, Sparky went to an anime thing with some friends. It was just far enough away for us not want to drive them there, come home and then go back (gas now having officially hit $4/gallon in our area). This was a serious meet-up, though: people in costume were ALL OVER THE PLACE near the hall. Freaks. ;-)

While they were at the meeting, Beast and I went for a walk through a nearby "park", met some very friendly deer (yes, there are pictures, no, they aren't uploaded), talked to AT&T about a family phone plan, had a great lunch outside with the accompaniment of blues music and "throttle-up" landing planes a couple of hundred feet above us, went to see "Speed Racer," and had a drink in a hotel bar. Lovely. The movie was surprisingly good, even for me who has seen the cartoon precisely once.

Sunday was ok. Church--which I wasn't excited about--then a youth meeting, which was pretty funny.

Yesterday I went to the eye dr. for a recheck (all clear, but keep using the drops during allergy season), wandered the mall (got Sparky some new earrings and bought some T-shirts for myself), grocery shopped, had lunch with Beast at the "no iceberg in my salad" place, came home, crashed in bed for an hour, and then met Beast at a nearby retirement/nursing/care home to interview them about FIL moving in a few months. Oh, and then we both went and gave blood. Usually it's no big deal but I had a newbie and I just about came off the table when she put the needle in. Nice little bruise today.

Today it's back to work. Maybe I'll get some cataloging done. ha ha ha

My usual laptop is dying again. Same problem: bad plug. I have developed hives, which is normal for when I get particularly stressed this time of year, but still really annoying. At least it is contained in one 4x6" area so far.

We are going to visit FIL and MIL this weekend, but between now and then, I have another care facility to visit with Beast, a meeting about Sparky's new school for all of us, three days of work, haircuts for all of us, and packing to do at some point. Yeah.

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Urban Word:

spendy: expensive

Wow! Groceries have gotten really spendy all of a sudden!

Labels: Busy, Life, Words

Mood: ...improved (though I guess that's hardly saying much)
Hair: Ponybun
Eyes: Itchy--here comes allergy season
Listening to: blowers and my brain

A semi-thaw during a long talk with my boss about work-related stuff.
A long IM with my favorite Beast.
Not caring a whit that no cataloging has been down.
Visiting with former employees I like (even if I'm green with envy that they now live in Colorado!).
The sure knowledge that my son and hubby love me.

PRICELESS

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Urban Word:

Grippin grain: wood grain steering wheel

Beast has been grippin' grain all week while he sees all his customers.

Labels: Life, Me

I started to do a real post. Here's the abridged version of what I deleted:

Little glimmer of light
Impatience
Brighter light
Crash
Poor me
Whinge
Fury
Whine
Navel gazing
fuckfuckfuck
Cry
Smack forehead
Deal
Crysobcry

That's bascially 7:00 to 9:30. Just can't wait for the rest of the day.

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Urban Word:

reality distortion field: reality-distortion field n. An expression used to describe the persuasive ability of managers like Steve Jobs (the term originated at Apple Computer in the 1980's to describe his peculiar charisma). Those close to these managers become passionately committed to possibly insane projects, without regard to the practicality of their implementation or competitive forces in the marketpace.

Someone's reality distortion field is broken, and it's not mine. I no longer believe ANYthing is possible. Ever. Which is discouraging.

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That's all.

Labels: Around the House, Life, Sadness, Stress, Stupid, Work

Last week was an exciting week for Sparky. This is from the School District from their online posting. We also received it, in slightly different form, as a paper note home from school:

Important Message for [high school] Families and Students
Th!s m0rn!ng at ab0ut 10:30 a.m., we d!sc0vered the f0ll0w!ng message 0n the wall 0f the f!rst fl00r b0y’s restr00m: “B0mb 0ff 0n Fr!day”. The p0l!ce were called and !mmed!ately began an !ndepth !nvest!gat!0n and a th0r0ugh search 0f the bu!ld!ng.

We are tak!ng th!s threat very ser!0usly and are w0rk!ng cl0sely w!th the [C!ty] P0l!ce Department t0 !nvest!gate the c!rcumstances and s0urce 0f the message. Wh!le threats 0f th!s nature are bec0m!ng m0re and m0re c0mm0n !n area h!gh sch00ls, we n0ne-the-less want t0 take all necessary measures t0 assure a safe and secure env!r0nment. T0 that end, there w!ll be a full p0l!ce presence at the sch00l b0th t0m0rr0w and Fr!day. Please welc0me them as they are there f0r every0ne’s benef!t.

After careful d!scuss!0ns w!th the p0l!ce, the dec!s!0n has been made that [the school] w!ll f0ll0w a n0rmal schedule f0r classes and act!v!t!es 0n b0th Thursday and Fr!day. We w!ll use th!s webs!te and 0ur aut0mated ph0ne call!ng system t0 keep y0u !nf0rmed 0f any further devel0pments.

Thank y0u f0r y0ur understand!ng and c00perat!0n.

[C.T.], Pr!nc!pal

The classes on Friday were at less than 75% capacity. Nothing happened, except for having lots of cops in the halls. A senior was arrested on Thursday. He's 18, and as such will be tried as an adult. Mentally, he seems to be 2--and no, he wasn't going to set off a bomb: he's apparently got a history of doing asshatted things like this, he was PO'd about something to do with Prom, or so runs the scuttlebutt.

And so far this week, the middle schools have had to go to "alert" because the same thing has happened there. This is nuts. I'm all for reinstating stocks and rotten vegetables in the center of town. Beast prefers the concept of a toothbrush and giant dirty tile floor.

Labels: Kids, Oy, School, Teenage, Worry

...perhaps I actually need to do something proactive about my emotions.

I'm really bummed again tonight. Overwhelmed-bummed, irritated-bummed, thence to sad-bummed. Why?

• Mission-trip stuff is freaking me (the fuck) out



• Youth group stuff in general is freaking me (the fuck) out



• Money stuff (also related to the mission trip, but household too--we're fine, just had a rough month)



• Talked to my niece today; things are not good in her marriage...and she's a prize to talk to in any event



• Beast is out of town; normally that's not a big deal, but I'm feeling so incredibly insecure right now that EVERYthing is a big deal



• I'm still terminally irritated with several people, and can't figure out how to let go of it



• Residual concern about my mom...from the conversation I had Saturday with my sister



• Got a really terse message from my boss in email today leading me to believe that I was inadvertantly involved in a fuckup on Saturday. I'm totally feeling like I can't win for losing at work lately. I don't want to BE there--still like my job, but omfg I hate the place.



• Not looking forward to a call I have to make tomorrow relating to our Memorial Day plans: Sparky won't be able to participate in the parade for very good reasons. I'd better not get flak.



• Catalog meeting Wednesday. I'm less than thrilled. I have to do an agenda tomorrow.



• Church meeting tomorrow night. I'm supposed to have a job description written for youth leader--it was due two months ago--and I haven't been to this particular meeting in awhile, and...guiltguiltguilt

Now I'm annoyed at the pity party taking shape around me.

I just wonder if every time someone in my family gets sick/gets hurt, I'm going to get to relive the inadequacies of all the previous times we've dealt with this?

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Urban Word:

dk/dc: Don't know/don't care
I wish I could really integrate into my psyche my exterior, carefree, dk/dc attitude....

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PS--On the other hand, it's pretty hard not to laugh at Dirty Jobs tonight. Mike is just not having a good time: toxic mold, dead rats, sucking turkey sperm, and god only knows what the girl turkeys have in store for him.

Labels: Around the House, Church, Humor, Sadness, Stress, Work

.

I just called my sister Marie, a call I should have/meant to make before now, to 'warn' her that I'd ordered a flower basket to hang outside Mom's window. Or something. Of course, the basket already arrived. Nevermind.

We talked over Mom's current condition. More decline, but nothing earth-shattering. The staff is irritating my sister. blah blah blah

I was in the midst of telling her something only to have her cut me off because she wasn't sure where Jan was and the engine on his car has been cutting out suddenly lately...and he might be calling for her to come rescue him.

Yeah. Nevermind. I got a sideways slap for taking anti-depressants and then cut off in the middle of telling her about Beast's accident yesterday.

I can't even work up a good rant. Sigh.

Urban Word:

fornever:

1. Never occurring, nor having the potential to do so.

2. A seemingly non-existent period of time.

My siblings fornever give me credit for being an adult.

P.S. As I was finishing this up, an email came through from Marie thanking all the sibs for the flowers, etc., we'd sent Mom. The last line: "By the way, [Cat.], [Jan] was just over on the south driveway where I didn't look packing his car trunk and putting the top down! He was just too quiet!" Apparently, checking before hanging up on me is too much to ask.

Labels: Family, Rant, Stupid, Words

Up this morning at 3:20 (yes, a.m.), out of the house by 3:55 on my way to a meeting on the other side of the state.

There are a surprising number of people on the road at that time. Really.

Anyway. Met up with a colleague partway there, in the city where she lives, and then we carpooled the remaining 3 hours, enjoyed most of the time spent at the meeting. Lots of good food for thought--if you like thinking about libraries and technology. Well worth the time. We were done by mid-afternoon, eventually found the car (when we parked we just followed all the other librarian-looking people rather than actually paying attention to where we were going), and drove back to our meeting place and thence home. We only got lost twice. And that was just cuz I missed exits. I'm a dope. All-told, over 8 hours in the car, for a 6-hour meeting.

Weird? Yup. Fun? Bolshoyst da. I have a little crush on one the presenters, but I'll get over that at some point. We cats had a lot of extra-fabu conversation in the car.

And tomorrow, back to the trenches.

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Urban Word:

googleganger: Similar to that of a doppleganger, it is another individual with the same name as you whose records and/or stories are mixed in with your own when you Google yourself.

The unfortunate thing about having a relatively common name is that when Googling the aforementioned crush-subject, lots of really weird googlegangers showed up along with the person I was trying to stalk online.

Labels: Computers, Conversation, Fun, Library-ana, Meetings, Sleep, Travel

Mood: Exuberant
Hair: Clean, curled...whatever
Eyes: Dry but ok
Listening to: Better Than Ezra--Desperately Wanting

Awesomely weird afternoon.

The reason I'm "exuberant" is that I just figured out a way to keep a file on Stupid Schedule Nazi Tricks that's pretty much not going to be found by anyone at work.

Can you guess? Can you? I love technology: it's a Google Document! Google is saving it for me, and I'm virtually certain they could care less that I'm compiling a CYA list. Over the past 24 hours, I've spent time with at least four individual people who want to create their own, or a joint one, or who just are so incredibly pissed off at her ongoing antics.

The first entry: [S.N.] late to her shift at circ meaning [Librarian H] was 10 minutes late to her shift at Ref. and I was unable to leave the Ref desk till 2:15

Petty? Yes, but here's the text of an email we all received last week from the boss(which she promoted from the evaluations she did with people):

After discussing evaluations we thought that we would share some comments with everyone that might be helpful: This is the comment or request that we heard most frequently: When you are scheduled in a Department – Children’s, Reference or Circulation - please be there on time. And, really be present, not working on other projects or wandering away to other areas. Remember, service to patrons is the always the first priority. If you need to leave for a few moments, be sure that the desk is covered and that people know where you are going.

I *heart* Google!!

And, weird email today, too. Just...unbelievable. I need a "clueless" branding iron.

OK, back to the books.

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Urban Word:

WSD: "Write Shit Down". A popular method of organization. Works equally well in one's personal or professional life.

Perhaps, rather than RIP, I will ask my descendents to engrave WSD on my tombstone. It's good advice no matter what the purpose.

Labels: Computers, Happy, Humor, Strange, Stupid, Words, Work

We are a bit becalmed here. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's not necessarily a good thing either. It just is.

I'm trying to keep the rantiness to a minimum. I'm trying to find the positive spin on things. It helps that I'm going on a (work-related) road trip on Friday, and that I am only working four hours tomorrow--and in the process of working that out, I have maneuvered a "screw you" move on Schedule Nazi. See what happens when you take so much comp-time? You lose. Bitch.

[There are reasons I'm particularly blunt about her right now. I'm not going into them. It's just more of the same shit.]

The road trip will entail 8 hours on the road and a 6-hour meeting. It doesn't sound fun, but it will be spent in good company, and that is worth a lot more than sleep.

Another positive thing is that I emailed a friend with whom I haven't 'talked' in months. It's not like we don't work less than 1/4 mile away from each other.... However, we are both so swamped with end-of-the-school-year (and family) stuff that setting a time to get together is proving to be a challenge. We're into July at this point.

Speaking of school.... Well, I'll just say that a) kids are stupid, and b) sending kids to public schools nowadays is a bit scarier than it was in the 70s and 80s. I'll go into detail, perhaps, this weekend. It's not about Sparky, though.

My family (of origin) sux, by the way. I've about reached my last nerve with them. Just...go 'way. This is probably the healthiest feeling I've had about them in awhile. I don't feel particularly guilty about feeling this way, though I do feel badly about Mom.

Monday night, we watched Dirty Jobs; last night we watched Deadliest Catch; tonight we're watching Survivorman and Mythbusters. Network TV? Only on Thursdays.

I caught up my reading lists last night while watching people fight on crab boats. It took awhile; I'd let it slide for quite a awhile.

And who knew--those feathers Native Americans wore in their hair? Served a purpose besides vanity and decor. I *heart* Les Stroud.

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Urban Word:

refrigerator blindness: Selective loss of visual acuity in association with common foraging of the refrigerator [or freezer]. Predominantly seen in children and males.

Ten minutes ago, Sparky stood in front of the fridge and asked if there were anymore bagels in the freezer up here. A severe case of refrigerator blindess has obviously hit him.

Labels: Around the House, Food, Friends, Life, Meetings, Travel, TV, Work

Beast forwarded this headbangin' cockatiel to me and I just had to share. Be sure to stay till the very end of the video. I especially liked the comment posted by boobopaboo yesterday; it made me bark with laughter.

Urban Word:

craxy: The X is for extra crazy.

Snowball is totally craxy.

Labels: Fun, Humor, Music, Video

Today is Confirmation Day. Each of the mentors is supposed to spend a minute or so introducing "our" confirmand. Here's what I've written about mine:

How can I sum up [D.]? A few of you know her already, and I hope that many of you at least recognize her. [D.] began her journey with [our church] when she was in middle school by coming to [youth group], about four years ago. Over the years, she has become more involved in lots of other church-related events here.

But, this is the unusual thing: [D.] had already been confirmed at ... [the] Methodist Church before she began attending here. Normally, when joining our church anyone who has been confirmed simply transfers membership. However, [D.] really felt that she would prefer to take another run at learning about what it means to follow Christ before joining our congregation.

Getting to know [D.] has been an eye-opening experience for me. Each time we met “for an hour” we usually spent 2 or 3 hours together because we’d always end up talking about school, the future, and (shhhh!) boys.

However, her faith is solid and clear. She has accomplished spiritual growth and learning by her own choice and with her own drive: for instance, in 2007 she read the entire Bible in a year on her own. I think that shows her determination and craving for discernment and direction from God. I hasten to add that she is also a lot of fun to hang out with, and may be one of the most realistically cheerful people I know.

One thing [D.] has reiterated many times in our confirmation time together is that she doesn’t know the names of many people in our family of faith. I know that we welcome all newly adopted members just as we welcome those who grew up with us. [D.]—or “Braids” as she was called on the [mission trip] last summer—will be a joyful addition to our congregation.

I'm really proud of her. She is a delight, certainly not without her faults--she is, after all, a teenage girl--but she has helped make the past 6 months a little more bearable.

Labels: Church, Happy, Love, Teenage

Here's a hint, two things you shouldn't say to the mother of your children on or around Mother's Day. If you really MUST say them, be sure you are drunk off your ass, or save them till the end of the argument (viz. George Carlin). Both of these comments are what a friend's husband said to her last year, on Mother's Day, when she realized that there was no card/no gift forthcoming from him or their three preschool children.

1) "It's your JOB to be their mother." [The implication was clear that she's no hero, so don't expect any special treatment "just" for being a regular ol' mom. This, after they'd both spent several hours over the previous week making stuff for their kids' grandmothers without any suggestion that his mom was "just" doing her "job" as a grandma.]

2) "I'd probably have done something for you today if you hadn't gotten so fat and ugly." [She's not ugly, and the 'fat' is from baby #3.]

Here's another hint: if you see nothing at all wrong with either statement, you SUCK as a human being, and as a husband/significant other/co-parent/human being. Go live in a cave. Alone. Far away from your family.

And, ohbytheway, what you do when "Mom" isn't around to deal with the kids? That's NOT CALLED "babysitting." It's called "parenting."

Labels: Oy, Rant

Nearly forgot to post this, and I am sorry about the tiny size:

Supposedly, this is a lighthouse in the Red Sea, but I couldn't find out much about it.

Labels: Calendar

Mood: Pretty good (mark that, y'all!)
Hair: Pony right now--I'll be in the shower in awhile, and then it'll be all fabu-curly when I'm done
Eyes: Functional
Listening to: Silence. I love my house!

My neck/shoulder started kicking back in day-before-yesterday. I called the doctor for better drugs--Skelaxin doesn't work for me. Not at all. I have a new scrip for...something else. I didn't even realize how goofy it made me until about 2 hours after taking it. I slept great, woke up a little early, but for the duration of the pill it worked great. Now, if I could just figure out why it's happening, and make it stop.

In spite of the shoulder, and the coolish weather yesterday, I walked downtown, bought a fresh panini, and took it to the park in the middle of town to eat it. It was lovely. Kids playing, guys doing road work--actually, they were on lunch break, and they aren't using big noisy machines anyway--the carillon playing, blue skies and buds on the trees. I need to do this more often.

Sparky and I watched "Beowulf" the other night. Great story--really well-told story--but the CGI was a little lame-o. Grendel's mom wore high heels? I think NOT. Still, a fairly decent retelling of the story, with some updates and finishing. I was pleasantly surprised. In honor of it, I bought a copy of Seamus Heaney's translation of "Beowulf" to reread and keep.

Today is my annual review. I guess I should be tense about it, but I'm not. As I told Beast last night, it's really not that I'm energized about work or whatever. It's more of a "what the fuck, I don't care" attitude. I've cataloged a total of about 60 books so far this week. Usually I'm well into the triple digits by this point, but I don't give a shit.

Some of that lack of attention to cataloging can be explained by the following: We have started a blog at work this week, and set up del.icio.us and Facebook accounts (technically the latter is a group). I've volunteered to coordinate a staff training series on various things, starting with the new color copier that we're supposed to be helping the patrons use, but really focusing on things like how to get Word/Publisher/Excel to do cool things, like rotate or sum or whatever. I'll be talking to the boss about that today, I expect.

If it were about 20 degrees warmer outside right now, I'd drag out a chaise or a towel and lie in the sun all morning. Unfortunately, it hasn't quite hit 50 degrees yet. Maybe I'll take my Icy-Hot bod back to bed for an hour....

Urban Word:

rotuzzi: A rotisserie which is installed in a jacuzzi. This device allows you to roast meat while relaxing in the hot tub. You can even eat meat right off the bone from the comfort of the warm bubbling waters. Also see: jacuzzarisserie.

When we buy that hot-tub--insert guffaw here--I'm installing a rotuzzi so I can be 100% sybaritic.

Labels: Books, Health, Life, Movies, Weather, Words

Cost of the War in Iraq

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