Consideration

I'm thinking of moving my blog, closing this one down or at least marking it as 'done'...something.

What brought this on? I received news today that V.--our most elderly staff member up until a few months ago when she retired (at 96) due to ill health--is doing something similar to what my mom did last month. She has stopped taking her meds, refuses more medical testing, and just wants to be done.

With this news, and the events surrounding my mom's death, along with ill-health of good friends and other family, changes in Beast's job, Sparky's Adventures in Adolescence and other assorted worries, I am in a bit of a tailspin. All I want to do is sleep, do crosswords, play games online, and watch TV. Reading is a challenge--first time for that--and writing is both mentally and physically difficult. It comes as a bit of a surprise to me that my brain can cramp with the weight of stress.

I think I've reached saturation. I need an extended break from...well, everything. And since I can't actually take a break of that sort in my day-to-day life, I've gotta let something go, and hold out for something new and fun around the corner when I no longer feel like I'm on the verge of falling into the abyss pell-mell. It's even possible that any new blog I start might be a little more transparent. Then again, it may not. We'll see.

Manager

Hey, guess what, folks. It looks like I may be stepping across the Big Divide and becoming what my business card says I am: Head of Technical Services. The Divide to which I allude is called Management. I have lived with someone belonging to that evil cadre for around 10 years (since he became a manager--I lived with him longer before he joined the cult). The new boss mentioned in passing that I will soon be doing job evaluations for certain individuals who do a lot of tech service stuff.

Yeah. I have an attitude about Management. I have never aspired to it. You can put that on being the youngest member of my generation in my family, you can attribute it to my undergrad days in Russian history classes, whatever. I don't wanna be a boss. I had a taste of it over 20 years ago, and the taste was foul. I know it was the recipe that was used, but y'know, once you've tasted something that made you physically ill (and it did, in my case, make me physically AND mentally ill), you're not really inclined toward tasting it again.

And, I like being the proletariat. I've no interest in becoming part of the problem, personifying the Peter Principle. (see "attitude about Management" above).

It's odd. My dad owned his own company/ies. He was Management most of his life. Of course, he was also Chief Cook and Bottle Washer, CFO, line staff, and PR department for many of those companies as well, and what it bought him was heart attacks at 47, 60, and 67 (not to mention the one that killed him at 74) and years of sleepless nights. The sleepless nights and heart attacks were all about the Management aspects of his work. The actual WORK of his companies he loved. The organizing of stuff he loved. But the hassles surrounding coordinating employees, finances, and customers...not so much love there.

On the other hand, I've also been Management for at least the past 16 years. I'm Head Scheduler, Financial Officer, Chief Goal-Setter, and General Shit-Taker for Sparky (this isn't meant to suggest that Beast does nothing, but he doesn't get into the scheduling and planning as much as I do simply because he travels so much among other reasons). That role has been lessening exponentially over the past couple of years, so it's probably a good thing that I'm being asked to do similar things for pay.

I wonder if I get a raise...? I wonder if I'll get more hours, and benefits? hah That's right: the economy still sucks, and it has started hitting our budget due to the vagaries of property taxes. Nevermind. I need to figure out a way to work smarter (i.e. more efficiently).

And suck it up. But, I still am not a fan of Management. Any more than I'm a fan of Lawyers. There are exceptions that prove the rule, of course. Hopefully I can become one of those while still remembering why I have Management Issues.

Metaphor

About 45 minutes, I wrote a blogpost (on the memes blog). No big deal.

Except I just clicked back over to the Blogger tab and realized that I'd finished it but never published it. It was just sitting here in the window looking blank.

Welcome to my world, even worse than normal lately.

Oh how I hate flurries!

Doesn't it always seem that bad news travels in a pack? I've certainly seem my share of personal (i.e. family) bad news, but when I broaden the scope, here's what I see scattered around:

• A dear friend whose doctor needs to have evil things done to him for ignoring her phone calls for weeks until she showed up in his exam room in early-stage organ failure because of medication he prescribed! [this brings up ghosts from my childhood and freaks me way the fuck out in very abnormal ways]
• Someone who is hospitalized tonight because of a fall a couple of days ago.
• A coworker who's father died just under a month ago.
• My sister needs a tuneup in her brain electrodes, but there are some issues there. Long story. Of course.
• Another friend who's mother died about 10 days before mine.
• And a couple of others' whose parents are at the stage my mom was at about 5 months ago.
• People forgetting the whole "innocent till proven guilty in a court of law" thing. Accusation doesn't equal fact.
• Ongoing medical issues with another friend who has, essentially, had a headache since November. Every day. Can you imagine dealing with a three-year-old 24/7 with a headache? Yeah. Doctors have no idea. Doctors suck.
• Gout in another family member. Though that's easing due to--of all things!--cherries.
• Stupid men involving themselves in extramarital situations and having their lives destroyed over it (not to mention the lives of their wives and families). Guys: KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS, and your pants zipped/glued shut!
• The legal maneuvering over my mom's broken leg is still hanging fire in our family. See footnote here.
• The economy is hitting home in libraries across the country. Ohio is slashing and burning its way through their astoundingly fabulous libraries. Our city is sending ominous links via email to articles about other communities' belt-tightening as we approach the budget planning sessions for 2010-11.
• Schedule Nazi just doesn't seem to understand that some of us never want to see her again.
• PTF pissed me off this week in a way that he hasn't achieved for months. Possibly over a year, in fact. Over something insanely stupid. Of course. What else is new?
• [whinge] I work Tuesday-Friday this week. I'm going to ALA on Saturday--just for the exhibits--all day. I work Sunday; Sundays S U C K! And then I work Monday-Thursday next week. So basically I'm working 7/7-16 every day.[/whinge] The problem is exacerbated by the feeling like I'm at work for 7 or so hours daily and get virtually no cataloging done. Since that's the part of my job I love the most, I'm getting whinier and whinier about it, not to mention behind-er.
• Our super-wonderful senior shelvers will be leaving for college in 5 weeks or so. WAAAAAHHHH!!! Am so sad about this. For me; not for them, of course.

There's also the fact that the new director, while starting to get her legs under her as far as the job goes, is still needing a LOT of information regularly. And we've undertaken to make some rather ginormous changes in some of of our major work procedures...there's a lot of stress. I like change. These will be good changes when they are all in place and understood...but it's hard.

This is the sort of mood where I probably could use a large glass of wine (or two), but I'm too afraid of using alcohol as a crutch (family history + ) so I probably won't. But the inside of my skin itches from all this drama and angst and things to think about that I don't even know where to start. Gah.

!!!!!!

Happy Anniversary to us!
23 years??
We have now officially been married longer than we were single.

To celebrate, we're going to Katherine and Alan's for a family cookout. It'll be interesting to see if they realized that two couples attending today have anniversaries (the other one is Tuesday); maybe she ordered a cake.

More likely, pigs will fly.
I am SUCH a bitch...

Quick turnaround

I'm flying to Colorado tomorrow. I feel that I have to, not only for my future peace of mind, but for Mom's current peace of mind. I also feel like I need to give my sister a break on carrying the load. She's tough but this stage of things is particularly hard to deal with alone. My other sister simply can't physically be here, and my brother has (apparently) checked out of things. Neither of Marie's daughters (nor any other grandchildren) are picking up the slack either. That leaves me.

A word to the wise: chickens really do come home to roost. And you reap what you sow. I'm not going to explain that except to say that when you treat people with love and respect and understanding, usually they'll return the favor.

I bought a return ticket that is non-refundable, so clearly I expect to return on Wednesday regardless of where things stand with Mom. I'm not sure if that makes me an optimist or not.

In the meantime, Beast has a business trip around a fairly close-by portion of his sales territory, so Sparky is going to travel with him, spend lots of time in hotel rooms (and the car), and bond with Dad. They'll actually leave tomorrow too and return home sometime Thursday.

My short-term goal tomorrow: don't cry in public. This means, in effect, "Don't think. Distractions are good!"

My long-term goal for the week: ....

As usual, I have none beyond getting through it alive and with some shreds of my pride and mental health intact. I have pretty low standards.

Marie and Jan do have a computer, so I'll be able to check in, but not to the level that is "normal" for me. So, I'll see you all Wednesday or Thursday.

Meander

I wonder why I've never really aspired to happiness...or, frankly, much of anything else. Is that why I'm (usually) not unhappy? My goals are small: get through today without making tomorrow any worse than it has to be without my assistance. I don't have--never have had--serious long-term goals. I sense that this is why I have what are essentially panic attacks every time I have major projects to manage: moving, major trips, work processes, etc.

Then again, I'm feeling extra-morose tonight, and cranky. Sucking it up, being the grown-up, doing my duty: it's not fun. It's incredibly important to do that, however, because I know that where I'd end up if I didn't "do the right thing" is an ugly place that I don't want to visit. Or live, God forbid.

Whatever. I don't have the energy or the interest in really delving into my psyche tonight. I have some tough days ahead this week. There is no way around them, so I might as well face them whatever courage I can muster up. Because that's what we Scots do.

If only my fucking eyes weren't all screwed up AGAIN now.

Weird Day

Yesterday was a strange day at work. Part--most?--of that strangeness can be attributed directed to the fact that, starting Monday, we will have two Directors for a week. There is a great deal of time being spent thinking about that, planning for the current Director's going-away party, thinking about what we need to find out from her before she's gone, tying up loose-ends of projects, etc. The staff is doing a special presentation and there was a lot of talk about that (when the boss wasn't in the room).

About midway through the day, I suddenly realized that everyone had received a 'script' for the party via email. Except, that is, me. It was inadvertent, I'm sure, but it explained the sort of low-level cluelessness I'd been experiencing all week. I knew something was percolating because people were talking about it out loud, but then they'd say something about squirrels (I kid you not) and I'd think, "What?"

Yes, part of our presentation involves squirrels.

Being aware enough to know that I was missing something is paranoia-inducing, especially since there are some other, actual, paranoia-inducing things going on at work right now as we prepare to start working for the first new Director the library has had since the early 1970s. I hasten to say that I know from prior experience that things could be MUCH MUCH worse. The last time I worked a 'regime change' was horror-inducing. This will be a breeze, no matter how angsty everyone gets!

But some other weird stuff was going on too. It is the end of the month so I was working up the cataloging stats. Weirdly, this is something I generally find very calming. I've only recently started doing this for the boss, so I still have to think through each and every step. When I got to the main stats document I was lost. Fortunately, she was nearby to ask, "Where do I put May??" Er, duh, Cat.: new budget year. New spreadsheet. New new new ... everything. I figured it out, after much faffing about. There was some intense praying that I didn't manage to delete last year's entire accounting document. In fact, I had to keep getting up and walking around to clear my head enough to ensure I wasn't jumping to conclusions before deleting/saving over docs.

[Realized as I typed this that I left out a piece--rats! Fortunately, it's a piece that I keep for my own joy, so it's not a big deal. The numbers are there; I'll just have to do it on Tuesday.]

Because of all the up-and-down, plus the Public Desk schedule, plus trying to tie of other projects including entering order records into the catalog all morning (that always makes my brain itch) and running the July Hot Books in Publishing list, I felt like I had a big case of ADD.

Did I mention the scheduled eyedrop breaks? Yeah. The eyes are better but they require constant maintenance and coddling. As, apparently, they will for the rest of my life. I will be single-handedly supporting the individually packaged Refresh et al. market. Absolutely nothing with a preservative can go in my eyes. And the Greek chorus shouts, "THANK GOD I am alive now, not 50 years ago when there was no understanding of this sort of thing, no options, and I would probably be legally blind by now."

And finally...while I was at the Reference Desk, a woman came up to me, seething with fury. She claimed that while she was away from her internet station briefly (to put money on her print account, 10 feet away), someone sat down at it and "deleted" the pages of work she was just about to print. So, yeah, I'd be furious too, but then she said something to the effect of "This is why I wish I carried a gun!"

Gulp. I suggested, strongly, that this would not solve the problem, and she should CERtainly not bring a gun to the library for this purpose.

As I got to thinking about it, I am pretty sure that she had to wait awhile for staff to put money on her account and the computer she was using timed out and shut down. The guy who came and sat down there had no way of knowing she had been using it at that point.

Eventually, I asked her if she had said anything to him. "No. I'm too angry and I might say something...." Yeah, something out of line maybe?! But on the other hand, there is a sudden stench of passive-aggressive here. I'm not either person's mom, and by the age she is she should be able to stand up for herself.

When she finally finished up she stopped at the desk and said, "That guy just left a few minutes ago. Maybe I can catch him in the parking lot and punch him." I reiterated that she shouldn't do this on library property. Now I'm wondering if I should have called the cops. Would I if she'd been a Big Scary Guy? I didn't because I rationalized that if she was too much of a wienie to talk to him, she was not likely to punch him. And had I really thought she might have a gun, I might have at least followed her to the parking lot to keep an eye on her.

That situation was exacerbated by the book I'm reading: Columbine. It's probably NOT the best book to read, as I did Thursday night, in bed before going to sleep. Definitely not if you have or know teenage kids, or have spent any quality time in a school recently.

However, it did bring about an epiphany of understanding about why a certain architectural feature at Sparky's school freaks me the fuck out. Every time I walk into the building, I shudder, and now I know why--it reminds me of a bit of the blueprint of the area in which most of the killing took place at Columbine. [The design is different enough that now that I know WHY it gives me the wobblies, I can start working on letting go of them.]

Bookending the day was a nice walk from and back to our favorite service station where I had left the Honda to have a lug nut replaced. Beast got a little carried away while fixing the brakes a couple of weeks ago. So I drove it to Bob's in the morning, left the keys, walked to work, and reversed the process at the end of the day. Both walks took place with perfect-in-every-way weather (temperature and humidity were moderate and the sun was shining), and because there was a train at the station on my way to pick up the car there was no traffic as I walked across the street, even though 5 minutes later I could barely drive out of the parking lot.

The capper to the weirdness, I think, is that Beast is the most relaxed I've seen him in months. Which is odd, considering his job situation and the uncertainty around that. On the other hand, the other shoe has dropped. And that, at least, is over.

I'm hoping for Less Weird today. Grocery shopping, weeding, dropping off Sparky's job apps, visiting an elderly friend, cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms.... Boring is fun. ;-)

Weekend

May is the stupid-busiest month of the year for anyone with kids in school. I realized this about 7 years ago when I noticed all my mom-friends with multiple kids losing their minds by May 10. It doesn't help that May is also when the yard starts needing attention, several summer sports start up, and allergies kick in for those who suffer from pollen sensitivities. The good news is that April and its showers are over; the bad news is that the flowers and trees are ALL blooming.

[Aside: as someone who has year-round allergies to--as someone at work put it yesterday--"everything known to mankind," I have to say that people with seasonal allergies make me laugh, when I'm not rolling my eyes internally. Rolling them for real hurts right now. Yeah. Cry me a river, folks--this is my baseline, my starting position year-round.]

OK, bitchy aside over. I really haven't felt good all week. That's my excuse, and mostly my bitching has been internal or venting to two Very Specific People. But the allergy thing for me is kinda like me complaining about a headache to one of those people, or a backache to the other.

See how I get distracted?

I was going to talk about schedules in May. When Sparky was in Little League this was the middle of the 'season' and there were games 2-3 times each week. There always seems to be extra homework this month, and of course major projects are coming due. The end-of-year concerts, plays, and programs are in May. The pressure is on everywhere, which means time is at a premium.

There are, of course, non-kid-related activities that have to be fit in as well. The regular grind of appointments and schedules--cleaning, cooking, maintenance, etc. And, if you want to have a social life, that's always fun to try to fit in.

So this weekend, here's our schedule:

FRIDAY: I will be doing laundry all day, and tidying our Disaster Zone (i.e. house). Beast left at 7:30 to cover several appointments for himself and his dad, and he will be spending at least 2 hours in teleconferences later today. Sparky has school all day followed by football training--yeah, I haven't mentioned that heretofore, have I? We will pick him up from school and then head to a hotel for tonight. He is attending a manga/anime conference tonight and tomorrow morning and early on I volunteered to make it easier on him and get a room for us nearby so he doesn't lose so much time traveling back and forth. Beast and I will probably go see a movie (Star Trek?) tonight while Sparky is manga-ing.

SATURDAY: Conference-y stuff in the morning. We will check out late and snag him from the conference by 1:00 or so and head home, stopping for corsage pickup on the way. Sparky will shower out of his anime "persona"--I didn't mention the costume aspect, did I?--and pack up for his evening activities. There's a tux involved. And a swimsuit for later. He needs to be at his date's house by 3:30 for pictures, and then they will head to the high school to catch the bus at 5:00. They will be gone for approximately 12 hours, arriving back from post-prom about 4:45. A. M. Maybe Beast and I will go see another movie in the evening. I know we'll need to go to the grocery store at some point.

SUNDAY: One of us needs to pick up Sparky at o'dark-hundred and bring him home and pour him into bed. Maybe we'll get another hour or two as well, but Beast and I will need to be out of the house by about 11 because we have tickets to see the Broadway traveling show of Mary Poppins. We will be gone till close to 6 Sunday night. At some point during the day, Sparky will need to do his homework and get all his tux stuff back together. Oh. And it's Mother's Day.

Monday I will get back on the daily schedule stuff, but I need to take the tux back.

Sigh.

Next week is German Honor Society induction. There's another band concert on the horizon. We have fundraiser stuff we need to deliver. I need to schedule a physical for Sparky for football. Things are reaching crunch time for prep for our youth group mission trip and there is a TON of stuff to do for that. Oh, and there is a retirement party for someone at work, and the changes that will come when her replacement begins. And it seems like everyone I know over the age of 80 is ending up in the hospital and/or nursing care this spring. That could stop. Please.

So yeah. I may not be around here much.

[this took me almost two hours to write--but there is laundry in progress, and I've started to think through the rest of the day at home]

Ridiculous day

• So there was the lengthy non-service Customer Service call outlined earlier with FOX (grrrrrrrrr.......)



• I have also been trying to get our account cancelled with another Big Name Company (whose boilerplate claims to be "the world’s leading source of commercial information and insight on businesses." Fair enough, except they have priced themselves out of our budget. I called last month sometime to commence this process (bargaining them down on rates). After no rate quotes were forthcoming for three weeks, I called and left a message to cancel our account and send me a confirmation email/fax/snail mail. Two weeks, three calls, and an email (today), and we're finally set. At least it was cleared up before the budget year rolled over.



• CT has turned into a canker on the souls of the entire staff. It's gotten completely out of hand. I've heard at least three other people--besides me--ask, "Is it just me, or is she even worse than usual today/this week/lately?" No, it's not just you. Or you. Or you. With the director out of town this week, and all of us on our last nerve with CT, either someone is going to start WWIII or someone's going to have to tell her to back the hell off whatever is going on that's causing her constant harping, whining and complaining. Did I mention extreme unhelpfulness? Oh, yeah, that too: she will not help anyone out for even the shortest or easiest reasons...except when doing so would be the most useless 'help' possible.



• Sparky has a tux. That took an hour. Them 'r expensive suckers, too. sigh Oh, well, it's only money, right? Supporting the economy, right? ...we still need to figure out flowers. This looks like a $300 'date,' not counting her ticket(s), dress, or hair/nail appointments. I'm reverting back to my own high school point of view: What, precisely, is the point?



• Beast got a call from one of his customers today asking for help. The customer's company burned yesterday (?I think), and he's going to have to start over from scratch. What a huge bummer, though definitely not bad news for Beast's business. We both feel awful for the guy, though, and Beast is going to ask if there is anything we can do for the community, which apparently was pretty messed up by these wildfires.



• An hour or so ago I finally got around to checking Facebook, only to find that a blogger/Fb'er/Twit friend of mine found out from her son today that his speech teacher is a complete moron. Or as a commenter wrote, concisely: "Starts with a C. Rhymes with Bundt Cake." One does not make comments about who 'should be' allowed to parent. Apparently, in spite of being a Christian Speech Teacher, she never heard the one about casting the first stone, or even the one about living in a glass house. Ppl r toopud.

And now, I'm mixing a drink for myself. It's not even a full moon!! What is going on around here??

Edited @ 9:45 p.m. to add that the first Tweet I read this morning was this one: "New idea to save libraries. Be an opinionated, trusted "filter." Hire librarians with taste. Buy only excellent books. Guarantee quality." Yeah. That's radical and new. And utopian and impossible due to tax support. Do you know how many good friends I have who think The Shack is the Best Book Evah?!

Should have known from the moment I read that how the day was going to go.

Quite quiet

We're watching Dirty Jobs. Mike is reaming out the sewer in Rifle, CO. This is near where my mom and sister live. Another town nearby is Silt. Imagine living in those towns! Yuck.

I'm as caught up on blogs, Fb and Twitter as I wish to be tonight and will soon be going upstairs for a bath. And then bed, early, so I can get up early and face Bible Study at 6:30 tomorrow. Yes. That's a.m.

Sparky is on his laptop watching (and, with earbuds, listening to) videos, having worked a bit on his Spring Break homework. His ACEN pass arrived in the mail today so he's pretty stoked, and that reminded me that he "needs" a fishnet/mesh shirt for his costume for that. [I think that's the hairstyle he's going for on a regular basis, except with his natural auburn hair color, and for ACEN, pinky-red falls/inserts. My kid = weird.]

Beast is downloading TurboTax. It sounds like the CD-ROM is sucking and grinding data right into the hardware of his laptop. Then it's quiet for a bit. Then it starts grinding away again. Weird.

My mom is stable. I didn't mention last week that our oldest employee at work (she's 96, I think) fell at home and hit her head. Sparky and I stopped by to see her at the hospital today. She's in remarkable shape, really, but not really herself again. Apparently she is MUCH improved since Friday, however.

All I did at work today was email, unload my desk and triage everything piled on it, download orders/input records/place holds, and cover two public desks for an hour each. It was terrifically busy. If anyone thinks the economy isn't affecting people, come on in the library. It's constant now. That's good, right?

The boys are going to Ohio for a couple of days later this week for some paperwork and stuff regarding FIL's belongings there. It'll be me and the guinea pigs. That will be quiet.

I think that's all the news that's fit to print, or worth blogging, or whatever the new cliché is.

And with that, and following close at Sparky's heels, I'm headed up to the sleeping storey where I will take a long, hot bath and go to bed. Yawn.

Memories

Remember when I used to post here everyday, sometimes even more than once a day?

Yeah, me too. Maybe it'll happen again, but not until I get "my own" computer. Sharing sucks.

In the meantime: WiiYoga is funny as hell.

Rolling with the punches

The Plan:

- Get up a little later than usual
- Get Sparky on his way to school
- Check email/twitter/Fb/Bloglines after a long dry-spell last night where we had no access to the 'net
- Help Beast finish preparing for his week-long trip (which combines family stuff and work stuff and is pretty complicated)
- Wave goodbye to Beast
- Go to the grocery store
- Other projects and errands
- Meet extended family members for dinner

The Actuality, as it stands now:

- Get up later than I planned
- Get Sparky on his way to school
- Start checking the 'net stuff
- Beast finished packing after a night spent in the recliner (oops--never came to bed!)
- Phone call from FIL's place saying his blood sugar crashed and they called 911
- Now in the midst of multiple calls to all and sundry to see what impact this has on FIL's schedule (dialysis, etc.), and to make sure 911 has things under control
- ....[see post title]

Blurts

Wow, I was a complete slug this weekend. Maybe I was storing up for today's busy-ness? On the other hand, I did get some stuff done: most of my to-do list is crossed off. Today I'm having lunch with a friend and then later in the afternoon I'm doing some sort of presentation at work for a Girl Scout troop about library collections. This follows my usual two-hour busman's holiday at Sparky's school library this morning.

Beast has hit the road yet again this morning, so Sparky and I are on our own for a couple of days. Hopefully we won't kill each other. He's back to being the 'typical teenager', i.e. head up his butt 90% of the time. Things will cycle back to calm again at some point. However, I've just promised him that I will call the doctor--the 'real' doctor, not the pediatrician--for an appointment to chat about his inability to sleep past sunrise. It's making him sleep-deprived and can't be helping in the Head-Up-Butt Department.

The Oscars, at least the last half, were more entertaining than they have been for years, except for the multiple wins that "Slumdog Millionnaire" received. Look, I think it's great that a movie about another culture won, and I haven't seen the movie, but it sounds completely stupid and unrealistic and sappy...and all the other cliches about Hollywood movies. (OK, and Benjamin Button sounds MORE realistic?) But Danny Boyle seems to be a lot more fun than most directors out there, and he gave a good speech.

Am glad Kate and Sean won. Very glad. I love Kate, and I think Sean's movie was released at a critical point in history, and I loved his speech! That was the Sean we can appreciate so much more than his usual annoying, self-aggrandizing, mopey self.

In other news, after jokingly calling one of the youth group members on her language use on Facebook, she was able to dish it back at me in spades when I posted using a 'worse' word myself. Oops. They keep me honest. That's good.

I've finally gotten around to updating all of my reading stuff, both in terms of printing out the full list of what I read last year and also creating the cards. Yes, truly: I keep a card file of the books I've read since about 1992ish. It's not all that library-ish--I only file by main entry (usually author) with the date so that I can go back to the printouts and read what I thought about the book. Yes, I know I could put this all online. I like writing the cards up. Sorry, Tim Spalding. The serendipitous discoveries I make every year are so much fun. "That book was by the same author as that book that I read in 1996! Really!"

The drawer I used to file the cards--acid-free paper drawer, purchased at an office supply store--is nearly full, and yet I am considering adding a title card for each book. Don't worry, I'm not going the subject route. My notes on the books aren't complete enough to do that. Frequently, the notes are pretty useless or non-existent, especially pre-blog (though this year I had a patch of no-reviewing too).

So, that's the update. I'm gonna head to school now. Shelving awaits.

Crack me up

My son is bored. I have 'his' laptop. So he flipped through the satellite channels till he found The Magnificent Seven. We are now watching that on AMC, and when a commercial comes on, he flips over to CSI...his favorite show. So, I think that means he likes TM7. Which cracks me up. Most of those actors are dead, or criminally aged now, and the acting is pretty humorous, plus he just eyerolled & asked why no one in old movies bleeds when they are shot...but we're still watching.

Now, he just arrived in the living room with a quarter moon of gouda cheese in his hand. To munch on.

I love this kid.

Winter

It's still winter.

It's snowing. The roads are icy and treacherous. We got stuck on the hill on the street outside our subdivision. Sparky had to get out and push--wearing a hoodie and no gloves. Two cars passed while he did this, one going our direction, the other coming toward us. The one coming toward us flashed his lights when he got about 10 feet from me.
W
T
F
?
I'm very tired tonight, fed up with being asked about the upcoming changes at our library ("No, not me. No, I don't know who."), annoyed with and at teenage girls, aware that Sparky and I have to get up extra early tomorrow if the driveway needs attention. [Beast is in California tonight.]

Gah. In fact, gah, squared.

What the...??

Yeah, I'm still alive, though feeling terribly frazzled. I'm ODing on Facebook, specifically BubbleTown, have signed up for Twitter (email me if you want to know my 'name' there), and well...living.

Sparky's birthday was earlier this month. He's now officially 16. No license yet: not enough hours of driving experience, and not enough months on the permit. It'll be another month or two before he'll go do the licensing.

Beast has had a rocky couple of weeks. His company is (basically) doing a massive reorg, 2/3 of his work-group is being laid off, and his job is changing a great deal. He now has a company car (delivered today)...you know what that means, right? He and the other employees are still hanging fire a little because of some corporate stuff that is thoroughly beyond anyone's control at this point. Aside from the economy, I mean.

My laptop is still dead. Looks like I may lose a chunk of my data. That's a big pain. (duh) sigh...

The kicker is that I can't seem to stop myself from eating everything in sight, especially the stuff that's bad for me. We do have the WiiFit here now, but haven't had a chance to set it up or start using it. Yes, life is that stupid: we have a video game that is sitting in its box gathering dust.

I'm thinking about Poetry Month already, several weeks early. I'm thinking about what to plant in a small garden this spring, and have charted planting dates. I'm thinking about other ways to save some money 'just in case.' Mostly, though, I seem to be thinking about sleep. Winter is like that, no?

Thought bubbles

Mood: meh
Hair: meh
Eyes: ok
Listening to: some show on car safety that Beast just started watching

Got up this morning with plugged-up sinuses. Spent 90 minutes updating my book blog for the entire month, and then transferring the list to the sidebar here.

Now I can play.

Except, my head hurts. And I have to pull myself together and go to Sparky's band concert today. I hope he's right that it's only four songs, though at least it won't be bleacher seats for us. High school bands play in auditoriums, not "all-purpose rooms."

Beast looked at 'my' laptop yesterday and he thinks he can fix it; it may 'only' be a Windows update that didn't quite take. He'll have to work on it further sometime this weekend, if there is time. Today he's taking his dad to the doctor and then we have this band concert. Tomorrow is church and the visitation for our neighbor, which is in a suburb about an hour from us. I didn't realize it was an hour away--hmmmm. Maybe we will send some flowers instead....

It was -5 out this morning when Beast got up, just 0 when I first looked after I got up an hour or so later, and 4 now. But the sun is shining and there doesn't appear to be a lot of wind. I am grateful for small favors. Just went out to wave goodbye to Beast and it's not bad in spite of bare feet. I'm stupid, yes. Sick + bare feet + outside in cold weather = not too smart.

I'm wondering when I'll be able to take down the "Cost of the War" widget on my sidebar. It's been there for almost as long as I've been blogging. Which, by the way, is about 5 years. And my template is boring the shit outta me today. sigh

I'm also boring myself with this post, so I'm gonna go see what's happening on Facebook, and then think about getting properly dressed in something besides sweats and fleecey hoodies.

---

Urban Word:

pedexterity: v. [sic-actually a noun] Describing someone with the ability to use their feet to pick things up. Also, pedextrous [adj.]

There is actually NOTHING weird about pedexterity, in spite of the ooky face I get from Beast when I pick things up with my toes.

Snippets

• My current Fb status:

#@&$ skinny kids' books ... Hate. Them.

• An email I sent today:

Here is one of those s.h. that I hate….there isn’t one for Mardi Gras in LCSH. We’re supposed to use "Carnival." I’ve updated the Google Doc and imported the Authority Record so we have X-refs. I only see a handful of incorrect headings in [our catalog] right now. Can everyone check and fix those they own?

• A Fb conversation (private) with a subject heading that contains the words "bl0w j0b" has 34 discrete messages between me and a BFF (female). Only the first one or two messages have to do with the act in the heading (ahem). This one certainly doesn't:

I am neither Celine Dion's husband (have I mentioned that my dad likes the way she "sings"?) nor Woody Allen {gag} {shudder} {barf}.

I knew. I was just teasing you, in direct violation of a direct order from Doc L. (which is, creepily, my dad's nickname. {gag} {shudder} {barf}.)

• As I was swearing at the children's librarian in my head about buying all the picture books from my childhood 30 years ago (instead of NEW BOOKS!), the song "Drop Down Dead" (The Housemartins) came on. I'd post the lyrics, but there is an internet ban on all Housemartin lyrics. For some reason.

• And one of our neighbors passed away yesterday.

• All in all not a fabulous morning. I have an hour on the Reference desk this afternoon. That should be fun. {choke}

It's official

As of last night, I can post this:

Two full-time librarians are leaving MPOW this year. They are both retiring. One can't get out the door soon enough to suit me, but the other one I'm a bit sad to see go. Fortunately, the latter individual will be here further into the year than the former.

In any case, change is a-coming in 2009. There is angst within our staff. I'm sure there will be drama--there always is. But change can be fun too. I'm pretty excited about this, and relieved that I can finally 'go public' since I've been sitting on The Big Secret for a couple of weeks now. [to be clear, they are not retiring as a package--one announced awhile ago, but I haven't wanted to say anything]

And no, I'm not saying who is who on staff...not yet. ;-)