Tuesday, November 25, 2008

That's all

Mood: good
Hair: looking really good
Eyes: very good
Listening to: Dr. G explaining about why [mostly young] men die from accidents more often than women
One has to wonder...at what point does one just throw up one's arms and say, ok--I'm done. I have been struggling with a friendship that has been dying in slow stages all year. At least from my perspective, it's dying. At least, from my perspective, it is/was a friendship. The problems I have been struggling with the most are whether she a) thinks/thought it was a friendship, and b) whether she knows it's dying. Or cares.

No, I know she doesn't give a shit. She seems incapable of stepping outside her own very large ego long enough to respond to favors, answer questions, or think about how her words can be hurtful, even if wasn't intentional. I've obliquely called her on it, and I think she got that, to a degree but she didn't apologize. Oh, no, far from it: she used my time and space to further her own agenda.

So I've mostly cut off contact with her and don't check in on her life for the most part anymore. However, she still pops up periodically in one place, and tonight yet another comment from her set me off. I mean, really, do ANY of my friends not know where Beast's family is from, where his parents lived? And then to egregiously, with no explanation, insult that place...I dunno.

I rilly do understand that it's not all about me, and that sometimes things just piss you off and you need to vent. I also understand that I'm completely thin-skinned about anything she says at this point, and I've been trying to just allow time and space to do their (usually healing) work. Indeed, I think the healing is happening, but rather that scarring over a cut it's actually rejecting a splinter. So. That sucks.

I guess it's right back to the saying about friends coming into your life for a reason or a season. The reason has been over for a long time, and now the season is changing too. Kinda sad. Lots of good has come out of it, and that will go on and I'll treasure it. But I'm calling this one. Time of death: now.

May Wisdom and Happiness compete to see which can do you the greatest favor,
and all of your relationships be blessed with balance and harmony.
Speak only what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation. Silence engenders contemplation.
Love and evolve.

Blessing Generator

Urban Word:
deja moo: The feeling that you have heard this bull before.

Sometimes, life just seems like a whole lotta deja moo all at once..

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