Not your typical Friday

We spent the afternoon yesterday weeding and putting down some of the mulch that was delivered. Beast also replaced another of the bird's nest shrubs (that makes three, I think, in two years). And we found an actual bird's nest; we think they are duck eggs, and I expect they've been abandoned, so that's another thing we'll have to clean up soonish. But still, a lovely sight: 7 perfect white eggs. I'll take a picture later, if I can remember.

In the process of all this [unusual] manual labor, I managed to get not one but TWO slivers in my feet, which clearly haven't toughened up yet this year! Beast had to do surgery with a pocketknife and tweezers to get one out after I limped around on it for several hours. I squeaked a lot and tried not to swear or cry and was just not very brave. One's feet have a lot of nerve endings in them.

As a result of crawling around on all fours, limping to take the weight off the injured foot, and standing on my feet all afternoon and evening I woke up at 1:00 with the most incredible ache in my legs. The only position that wasn't painful was lying with them straight, which is NOT the way I usually sleep.

The laundry for the week is done.

My niece, the bride, called several times to see how things were going. Her computer had broken down in the midst of printing place cards and other wedding paraphernalia. Her fiance got it working again, but she's at the point in wedding prep where anything off the schedule throws her completely off-stride.

I made spaghetti, a salad and garlic bread for dinner, which we finally ate about 8:30. Poor Sparky was fading; he went to bed immediately after eating. I cleaned up, loaded the dishwasher, scrubbed the stove and the copper bottoms of the pans. Waiting.

R&B's plane landed at 5. It's about a two hour drive from the airport to our house, accounting for holiday traffic and the weather. We spent about a half an hour in the basement again due to high winds and what I call "scary greenish daylight" at about 7. I began doing the whole Who Do You Call To Find Out About Accidents worrying by 8:15. They finally arrived at 9:30, after I started pacing on the porch while the Beast snored in the recliner (he's had a rough week too). Pacing on the porch is pretty useless, but it turned out to be a good thing, as they were driving up and down our road unable to see our house number. N.b.: Time to fluoresce the black numbers on the porch, or put a spotlight on them. Or something!

My dizziness is gone this morning, but the cough and sore throat is back. Sparky's being a pylon (!!) this morning. I'm going back to the recliner to read.

Happy Saturday to all. It's a sunny, beautiful day. Maybe we'll go to a minor league baseball game.

Arrivals?

Quickly checked email before leaving home this morning. I found this from today's travelers:

Unfortunately after checking in and being through customs in 5min. The baggage handler drove his vehicle into the plane! The engineers are looking at it but not very helpful.

We have just been taken to a hotel for lunch, back to the airport for 2.30pm but we still maybe waiting for another plane from London.

We'll keep you informed.

See u much late

They were scheduled to land at 1:30ish. The current ETA ranges from 4:45 to 7:30, although the earlier number seems to be the most likely.

The weather at this end at that point is supposed to be "thunderstorms" compounded by vacation weekend traffic.

They are renting a car, but have never driven on the right-hand side of the road.

At this point there is not a thing anyone can do until they land. Air travel totally makes you realize how very little control you really have in life. So you just have to laugh, shrug and carry on. My niece is quite good at that; I can actually hear her laugh in my head as I type this.

They will be dead-tired whenever they finally arrive, probably close to 24 hours after getting up this morning.

Now for the health report: I'm no longer coughing as much and my throat doesn't hurt but I'm really dizzy (no commentary please!), so dizzy I feel like I just got off some awful amusement park ride. The room is tipping and my stomach is actually rocky. What a weird feeling. Can we all say "inner ear infection" together?

Here I am, at work. yish

Wedding passages

I think I've mentioned that I've been designated a reader at Katherine's wedding next weekend. Apparently I did so well last summer at not crying during Ben and Marguerite's wedding, where she had me read a Robert Frost poem, that I graduated to reading Biblical passages this year.

They certainly are not the usual ones: Ruth ("...whither thou goest...") and Corinthians ("...love is patient, love is kind..."). In fact, only one is "officially" religious. I've been reading them all evening, trying to get the emphases right, and trying not to sniffle during the mushy parts. This is going to be tough, especially if I catch anyone's eye....

For what it's worth, I think they are perfect readings. And like good wedding readings, they whack the attendees upside the head, reminding those of us who are married WHY WE GOT MARRIED in the first place!

1. "As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." [Colossians 3:12-17] {I just realized that last year's wedding included these verses, but I'm not sure this year's bride remembers that....}



2. "Our wish for both of you today is that your marriage will bring much happiness and joy to each of you. Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens; a good marriage must be created. And it is created in the following ways:
   
   • It is never being too old to hold hands.
   • It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
   • It is at no time taking the other for granted.
   • It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
   • It is standing together facing life.
   • It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
   • It is doing things for each other not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
   • It is speaking words of appreciation , and demonstrating gratitude.
   • It is not looking for perfection in each other.
   • It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding, and a sense of humor.
   • It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
   • It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
   • It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
   • It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
   • It is establishing a relationship in which independence is equal, dependence is mutual, and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner. " [Bill Swetmon]

See what I mean?
WHACK!!!!

Is this art...or really definitely NOT art?

I have to preface this by saying it's true: people are weird (and stupid) beyond belief, and you can find ANYthing on the Internet.

The full story behind (ahem!) this is here. It's not pretty, but it IS pretty damn funny. I'm so pleased to know that someone is actually spending time compiling a list [please read with irony].

I'm sensing an ugly theme here, maybe because of stress and illness. I think I'll call it quits on the blogging thing for today in hopes that my sense of humor begins to approach "normal" again. I'm staying home from work anyway. Just feel lousy. How fitting, then that today's Word of the Day is saturnine \SAT-uhr-nyn\, adjective:

1. Born under or being under the astrological influence of the planet Saturn.
2. Gloomy or sullen in disposition.
3. Having a sardonic or bitter aspect.

The onslaught begins tomorrow. The question foremost in my mind is what to feed a household containing two meat-and-potatoes eaters--one of whom eats no fish except tuna--two relatively normal eaters, and one vegetarian--who eats fish but not tuna because she's allergic? Spaghetti. Lasagna. Pizza. Macaroni and cheese. LOTS of peanut butter and jelly. There's another veggie coming next week as well. Heyulp. Hear that sound? That's my head banging on a wall.

Yargh

I'm currently at work, because I'm dumb. Other librarians just call in sick when they're feeling lousy. And that means I get to sit at the Reference Desk coughing all over patrons, phones and keyboards. And updating the Dewey books with the additions since last year, things like "Cookery (Marmite)" (641.6) and "Long-Distance Relationships" (302.34). {Ed. note: I misspoke; these are actually new subject headings, not new Dewey numbers.}

Sparky has a half day of school today--why, no one seems to know--so I may just go home early and vegetate in front of "Ray" as soon as someone else shows up to relieve me here...in an hour.

Silver lining? It would be worse if I were getting sick next week, say on June 3.

Work, hugs ... and, er, shoes

The filing is done. What to do now?!

Hah.

OK, so I'm browsing Bloglines, and I came across this, about men hugging. Yes, men don't hug. Or do they? Actually, now that I think about it, most of the men in my close acquaintance do hug. So is that weird? Even my dad hugged people, those he knew well. And he was from the Greatest Generation (or whatever the hell it's called). Since I'm not a guy, I don't really have anything emotionally invested in this; it just doesn't occur to me to worry about my femininity in cases like this! :-)

ANYWAY. Since my cart is cleared off, I should probably go kill some more Dead Deweys. Of course, today I wore a dress (Jen!c@ and Drew would be proud: it's a jumper) and my new shoes,

the ones I bought yesterday to wear to the wedding. I'm getting a blister.

Pretty conservative shoes, eh? I have to be able to walk up to the lectern and not make a fool of myself (until I open my mouth and start trying to speak). And the outfit I bought, while springy, has lots of black. And I don't have any black sandals.

In any case, probably not the best outfit to be tossing around books. But I'm stupid, so I'll be out there later. All my other projects are icky.

By the way, I also bought Sparky some shoes. He's wearing size-10s of these:

His feet are YUGE and he looks like a duck in these--especially in shorts and the black socks he had on to try out shoes. Being an adolescent sucks, doesn't it?

Swear words

Just heard this in a song ("Definitely Maybe," by FM Static): "He's a pylon." I can use that!

(Otherwise it's a pretty lame song.)

I'm reduced

[I only wish I were!]

But no, I'm reduced to filing. My cart is empty (which is a good thing!) except for stuff that isn't in our local database, so I need to bring some records from OCLC over. But here's the problem:

"05/24/2005 10:05:27 AM

OCLC is currently experiencing system problems that may affect the following services: WorldCat Resource Sharing, ILLiad systems, FirstSearch, Connexion Browser, Connexion Client, OCLC CatME, OCLC CJK, OCLC Union List, OCLC Passport, WorldCat Collection Analysis, WorldCat Partner Program, Group Catalogs, and Z39.50 Cataloging. OCLC is working on the resolution to this problem. We will keep you updated on the status. We apologize for the inconvenience this connectivity issue is causing our users." [my highlights]

What that means, in non-jargon, is that I'm screwed.

So I'm filing. I don't have that much paperwork, but over time it does accrue. So here I go. First I have to dig out some manila folders that fit my desk (i.e., not legal size). I actually don't mind doing this, but I'd rather be cataloging.

Remind me to tell you about The Giant Sparky Blowup yesterday. I may have to start calling him Flamey instead of Sparky. Luckily neither of us are wearing bruises today, except in our souls.

[Naturally, just as I start filing, I do one last check and discover this update:

"05/24/2005 11:29:16 AM

OCLC systems are again available. The source of the problem remains under investigation. We apologize for the inconveniences these problems have caused our users."

Now, do I file, or catalog? Quite the quandary.]

I haven't seen the movie, but...

...this seems to be the consensus among those I know who have:

What PITA catalogers talk about

Once again the Ponytailed Wonder has struck. The man simply MUST have PMS. I'm going to start charting these outburts to see if they happen on a lunar cycle!

[edited by siteowner 8/30/05]

Quite annoying

Wrote a long post, brought it over to tweak it on Blogger, had one of the open IE windows freeze and when I shut it down, it also shut down Blogger. Not Bloglines or Amazon. Just Blogger. Phfffhht.

The nuts and bolts of the post--which, of course, I didn't save elsewhere--is that I've bought wedding gifts from a local shop (but I can't link because the manufacturer is stupid), Sparky has a debit card on order (which is technically illegal for him to have, but since he shares his first name with The Beast, we're just going to "loan" the one I just ordered for The Beast this morning), and I think I'm coming down with a cold.

Also annoying is a fact I discovered this weekend: dork means the same thing has putz. Since I try to use 'putz' only when I mean the "Vulgar Slang" definition as well as the regular "Slang" one, this means that I have to come up with (ahem!) a new name to call annoying people. Can't use schmuck either...same reason. Twit seems 'clean' but it's sounds lame. Any suggestions?

On the less-annoying-but-rather-more-icky side is this story from Tom Reynolds. If you aren't a CSI-ish kind of person, don't click! I, on the other hand, was launched into a fit of giggles.

It's possible I need a vacation.

Shift?

Changing the title. Not really changing the focus.

I sprung for Launchcast Plus today, and immediately got wacked in the ears by Spandau. So here we are.

So much for planning

Thursday May 19

3:59

I leave work, late. Sparky will definitely beat me home from school.
4:03 Sparky calls me on my cell; I'm sitting in the library parking lot.
4:20 I arrive home to find Sparky doing homework. I start picking up debris from our week so The Beast doesn't have to deal with it. I remind Sparky that it's garbage day and cavy-cage-cleaning day. Listen to phone messages: one of Saturday's guests just realized he left his jacket here. I call back and arrange to bring it with me to the play to hand over to his wife.
5:00 Sparky's done with homework, has disappeared upstairs. I'm eating 5-day old lasagna, because I didn't eat lunch and I'm STARVING. I remind Sparky of his chores. "Yeah, yeah..."
5:20 Sparky reappears, asking if he can go to the gaming card store on his way to the play tonight. I tell him it depends on his chores being done, because I'm frazzled and not paying attention.
5:40 I rethink the gaming card question and tell him no. He pouts. Big shock. Check email. Of course, that's when The Beast calls to say his flight is delayed again. Probably won't arrive home here until 11:30 at the earliest. Sparky eats...leftover lasagna for the 3rd or 4th time this week!
6:10 We leave for school. He has to be there an hour ahead of curtain time. I bring the remainder of today's liter of Diet DP to finish during the show.
6:30 I drop him off at the door and park, crank back the seat in the car, and read/nap for 25 minutes. I so don't want to be there.
7:00 Buy ticket, sit in cafeteria in a folding chair. Connect with jacket-owner's wife and other friends.
7:30 Play starts. Brunhilda is a stitch. The Majordomo can SING! And so can Cinderella! And Kat (not be confused with me!). Otherwise...eehhh.
8:10 My phone vibrates. Beast leaves a message which I pick up at intermission: another 30-60 minute delay.
8:20 Holy shit! That's Ashley! Wow, she looks great, and she's the only one on stage not acting, just being herself. Wow.
8:45 The drama/choir teacher talks and talks and talks and talks after the show. Mentions cast party tomorrow night. Hope we get directions to where it is! Nice of Sparky to mention it, too. (er, NOT)
9:15 We're on our way home.
9:45 Sparky's in bed. I've left a message on The Beast's cell to call when he lands. I'm reading, checking email, and finishing cleanup. Also start a shopping list: tomorrow is "Cook-and-Freeze" Day in preparation for the onslaught of guests.
10:35 Bath time. Of course, that's when the phone rings (but--aha!--I brought it into the bathroom with me).
11:25 In bed, doing a crossword.
11:45 Lights out.... No Beast yet.Friday May 20

2:45

I wake up, broiling under the fan in our bedroom, twitchy. Woke up from a dream about having sinus surgery. Ick. I hate hot flashes. Absolutely can't lie still. And I'm hungry. But The Beast is asleep next to me. Yay.
2:55 Go downstairs for a couple of crackers and some boring hopefully) reading to put me back to sleep. Note to self: not so much DP after 4 p.m., huh? Caffeine, y'know.
3:25 I hear loud, odd noises from upstairs, THROUGH the earplugs I still have in my ears. Rip them out, rush upstairs and hear The Beast ... choking? Gagging? Coughing? He's in our bathroom. Eventually I get the hint that he can't breathe. I run downstairs for my Albuterol inhaler (he's used it more than I have this year!). It doesn't help, although he's not gasping so loudly. He manages to tell me this is the second time it's happened since he came to bed.
3:35 I call the doctor's office. The doctor calls back and tells The Beast to get to the ER. We dress; I leave a note for Sparky in case he wakes up before I get back.
4:10 We're at the hospital. He's still uncomfortable, but less so. His ox. sat. is sorta low, his bp is sorta high. We sit....well, I sit; he lies there connected to the monitors.
4:30 Now his ribs hurt. Pulled muscle from coughing/gasping? Blood clot from flying? Yoicks.
4:40 Pulmonary comes and nebulizes him.
5:10 Radiology kidnaps him for a chest x-ray. When he brings him back, the tech neglects to reconnect all the monitors. We get to see a blood-pressure cuff nearly explode; the monitor alarms go off ... and no one comes to check on him. Not a particularly confidence-inspiring moment.
5:30 I leave for home to get Sparky off to school. Am told that The Beast will still be there for awhile because "upstairs is full, so even if they admit him, he'll stay in Emergency." Great. He has stellar timing--last time we went to the ER with him there were no beds either.
5:55 I arrive home. Tear up note to Sparky. Am faint with hunger--or heartburn. Eat a bagel. Throw down some more Diet DP. Wash my face. Make our bed. Hear Sparky get up and start his morning routine.
6:15 Start this entry. Wonder if I should call and cancel Beast's dentist appt. And his haircut. I don't think he's going to work, either. Better wait to call till I know what's going on. How are we going to make it through Sparky's play tonight? Is there a chance in hell that I'll get any baking done? What about our trip to Wisconsin tomorrow night? Oy oy oy.
6:45 Suddenly realize that I'm REALLY TIRED. And that Sparky's not out of the bathroom yet. And so the day begins.

{Update at 2 p.m.: Beast checked himself out AMA because he's sure it was GERD. It's happened before with him, just like this. The hospital wanted to run a days' worth of tests on him, and he just wanted to come home and get more sleep. So far we've both slept another 3 hours, making almost a full night in the last 24! Yeehaw. And he seems fine. I, however, feel like a car drove across my eyeballs.}

My life for the duration

My house is S. The engaged couple is M. Everyone else is relatives.

Date	S	M	Rs	A	T	R	B
We 5/25	Beast on Circle Tour Sparky Early Dismissal / River of Praise
Th 5/26	Beast on Circle Tour Sparky School Cat Staff meeting
Fr 5/27	Sparky Grandparents Day Cat Works Beast home						arr. 1:15 p.m.
Sa 5/28	Beast Sleep Study			overnight in L'ville			at S's
Su 5/29				at M's			at S's
Mo 5/300	Sparky Parade			at M's	arr. 5:45 p.m.*	arr. 5:00 p.m.	at S's
Tu 5/31	Sparky School		arr. evening; staying @ H Inn	at M's	to CO	at S's	at S's
We 6/1	Sparky to GA (field trip)		H Inn	at M's	in CO	at S's	at S's
Th 6/2	Sparky School / Dentist		H Inn	at M's	in CO	at S's	at S's

5/30

staying in EGV; getting there via shuttle

5/31

shuttle back to airport for CO flight

Date	S	M	Rs	A	T	R	B
Fr 6/3	W inn	rehearsal 5? dinner 6:30 bride @ W inn	W inn	W inn	arr. 1:45 p.m.*	W inn	W inn
Sa 6/4	W inn	3:30	W inn	W inn	W inn	W inn	W inn
Su 6/5		BBQ?	W inn	W inn	at S's	at S's	at S's
Mo 6/6	Sparky School	H O	Leave for A’s	Home with Rs	at S's Linda W?	at S's	at S's
Tu 6/7	Sparky to Zoo	N E			at S's 1:00 Sa / lunch	at S's	at S's
We 6/8	Sparky Last Day of School / River of Praise	Y			at S's Linda W?	at S's	dep. 6:30 p.m.
Th 6/9		M O			dep. 11:00 a.m.	dep. 6:30 p.m.
Fr 6/10	Cat Works	O N
Sa 6/11		!

6/3 S pick up from airport on the way to rehearsal

There you have it.

This doesn't include my brother, who is not coming to the wedding but is traveling to "Granny sit" my mother.

Oh, and two of these groups have vegetarians in them. One group includes someone who doesn't eat fish. Thank God we have a big kitchen, multiple inflatable mattresses, and three bathrooms.

Time passages

I'd really like to get the book blog updated. Here's why I haven't (in order of brain- and/or time-suckage):

• Last night I finally got most of the two-week schedule from May 25 through June 10 sorted out. If you want to see it, I've created a blog, but obviously don't want to post the link here since it's got most of my family's names. Perhaps I can copy it over with details x'd out. I know how to create tables in HTML now...well, it looks like I do anyway. hee
• Work is really complicated right now. Nothing like Jenica's complicated, I hasten to add. Just a lot of shit hitting the fan right now. Of course.
• Lots of driving to and from school this week. Rehearsals, performances, etc.
• I can't find all the books I've read. I'm missing one. It's hard to annotate/review if the books aren't to hand.
• The Beast is out of town. That always means less time for my fun stuff.

I've meant to post that the fields all have corn stubble, a faint impressionistic green you have to squint to see as you whiz past.

The left temple of Sparky's glasses was very loose last night so we took them in for tightening. He got slammed in the hall at school--doesn't that just make you want to sign up for middle school all over again?? So the optometrist took them in back to fix them...and they broke. He got new glasses for free. In 10 minutes. With no paperwork. God's looking out for fools this week, apparently.

Speaking of Sparky, he got off the bus yesterday in tears. Momhood so definitely sucks right now. Nothing I say can help. Just hugs...and extended discussions with God about why this is so hard!

To-Do List

I've been compiling this list for a couple of weeks now, based on Phil Keoghan's book. It's a very rough draft at this point, and probably not finished, but I'm going to start entering it here as a way to make myself accountable somehow.

Phil divides "opportunities" into eight types, so I will try to put my items into his types:

FACE YOUR FEAR

Parachute out of a plane
Learn to swim
Learn to fire a gun properly
Learn to relax

GET LOST

Live in a foreign (to me) country
RV around the country with no plan

TEST YOUR LIMITS

Take some courses at McCormick
Walk, every day
Organize church library
Ride a horse
Fly a plane
Ride in a helicopter

TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH

Go on a personal retreat
Build a labyrinth
Start a business with The Beast
Stop eating sugar

REDISCOVER YOUR CHILDHOOD

Work with kids at church
Work a theatrical production
Piano and flute lessons
Mentor with the school district
Buy a jumprope; use it

SHED YOUR INHIBITIONS / EXPRESS YOURSELF

Take a balloon ride, preferably over mountains
Learn to read Hebrew
Learn to read Greek
Get motorcycle license
Learn to create crosswords

BREAK NEW GROUND

Visit Kenya, Egypt, Amsterdam/Haarlem, Auschwitz, Laura sites
Learn to play golf
Friends over for dinner on a regular basis

AIM FOR THE HEART

Set up a family website
Bible Study with The Beast
Find a good-fitting volunteer job
Get back into Habitat for Humanity
Laugh Every Day

Don't Fit Anywhere Else

Go back to Italy, Greece, Russia
Catalog and cross reference all the books I've read
Finish scrapbooks
Catch up on reading "Christian classics"
Schedule annual "block" party
Buy only quality writing utensils that are fun to use
Finish The List
Live every day until I die

Compiling things this way made me realize that "getting lost" is not a big deal to me. I've done it (physically) so many times that it doesn't scare me in particular. Having been driven out of Jalisco by boys I'd never met while in Mexico, and living to tell about it...well, once you've done things like that several times, you get smarter about risks and less fearful about your capabilities. Which is the point, I guess.

Not surprisingly, there are an awful lot of organizational and reading things on this list. I guess I'll never die. I don't have time.

Also, please note: bungee jumping is not on the list. No interest. Give me a parachute any day!



So....now I just need to get started on this, right?

Computers suck

Somehow I downloaded a Trojan (20 years ago that would have sounded much dirtier than it does now) this morning. It's a "low-threat" one, but because Stupidhead Sleek blocked a bunch of administrative functions on my PC, we can't access Symantec's antivirus controls. When I try to scan the computer, I get the "send error report" box and the scanning software shuts down.

Sleek sucks, too.

So far nothing bad is happening because of the download, but it's annoying as hell that I don't have control of my PC.

You know what else sucks? Skinny books. They are all I have left to catalog, having cleared all the adult stuff, and DVDs and CDs off my cart. ...sigh...

On the upside, shelled pistachios are totally wonderful. They are my lunch today, along with some small boxes of dessicated raisins someone brought in. I'd forgotten that raisins actually taste ok, especially when they aren't dessicated.

And, as I only have one person signed up for the blogging class I was scheduled to do tomorrow evening, I'm cancelling it. Therefore I can sit through not one (Friday) performance of "Cinderella" at the middle school, but two (Thursday AND Friday). Wait, that sucks too... ;-)

[Beast if you're reading this, just stop now!!!]
OK, here's something that doesn't suck: Sparky and I finally watched the end of TAR last night. Suffice to say I'm quite pleased at the outcome, in spite of all the conspiracy theorists out there.

Cinderella

Cinderelly, Cinderelly
Night and day it's Cinderelly
Make the fire, fix the breakfast
Wash the dishes, do the mopping
And the sweeping and the dusting
They always keep her hopping
She goes around in circles
Till she's very, very dizzy
Still they holler
Keep a-busy Cinderelly!

Thanks, Disney...

My life in a nutshell last Saturday. And this week and next week.

Let's not forget weed-pulling and perennial planting, drywall mudding and carpet shampooing, scheduling the septic and teaching a blog class....

Honestly, this song has SO been going through my head for the last week. Hopefully this will exorcise it and I can move on to something I like!

What is in a name, anyway? +

Stealing from Amy. It's what I do.

There is a wonderfully arcane site about names here, courtesy of the 1990 U.S. Census.

My first name is in the low 400s (so over 400 girls' names in the U.S. are more popular than mine). Quite heartening really, since the list ends at #4275. I'm less popular than Nadine, Robyn, Sadie and Muriel. But I'm more popular than Mindy, Laverne, Olive and (weirdly) Kate. I know three Kates. I find that...just wrong. Although, come to think of it, this site probably lists only "official names" not nicknames.

My middle name is in the top 20 (of first names). Again, this is odd because I literally know NO ONE with that name. Except one of my nieces, and she's British.

My maiden name isn't on the list of last names--huh--but The Beast's last name is, in the 2500s, after "Ngo" but before "Bull." Huh again. [If I spelled my maiden name the way a lot of people think I should, it's in the 4000s. But that really is wrong!] There are approximately 89,000 last names listed.

My boys, who share a first name, are in the top 10. Sparky's middle name is number 1. Beast's balances that by being nowhere on the list (of 1219 names).

We are nicely average. Our names are mathematically 147.

My siblings' first names average out to 82. If you add me in there, though, we're up to 149 as an average.

There is no Cat. There are, however, 19 names that have "cat" in them.


There ya go. Now I'm going off to read a book on trash, or possibly a mystery, or maybe fairy tales. I'm NOT going to eat: I bought clothes for the wedding today and they are snug. They can't be snug in three weeks.

Self-censorship

Q: At what point do I start hiding all the posts on this blog in which I've slammed people?
A: Hmm, could be soon.

This could be an excercise in rereading the whole thing and deciding what to print off and keep but delete from the site, what to print off and leave on the site, and what to keep only on the site.

Another challenge: refocussing on who my audience is. Frankly, from the beginning, it's been me, and those of you who aren't causing me grief, hassle, heartache, or untoward cynical amusement.

You can probably figure out who you are: if I haven't pissed you off, it's you.

If I have, why the FUCK are you reading my blog??

I don't have time for this right now. Can someone call me when the paranoia dies down? I've actually got radiating pain in my left arm! Crap.

Politics

I wrote this post before I checked WOTD and QOTD.... Sometimes life is just eerie.

Word of the day: camarilla \kam-uh-RIL-uh; -REE-yuh\, noun:

A group of secret and often scheming advisers, as of a king; a cabal or clique.

Quote(s) of the day:

"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'." --Larry Hardiman

Yeah, so my site stats are up. Thanks, ya'll, for reading. It appears you are mostly interested in the fall of the not-so-mighty. Here's the deal: I've now edited those posts that mention the not-so-mighty by name, occluding her name and the name of the city. I've also removed the names of other playas.

If these posts annoy you and you think I'm ...whatever... Hey, just deal. I've been called that, and worse. If you don't like what I say, don't read me. If you have a different opinion you'd like to espouse, sign up for a blog: they're free and any moron can use Blogger.

I originally posted the news articles for the following reasons:

1) It's always fun to watch hubris being caught in action. As I said in the comments here, remember Caesar's wife.
2) It's especially easy to carp from the sidelines. Hey, I'm honest, right? I certainly don't think the person in question is Evil Queen of the Universe; I think she's a poor manager, and I think the library board is in need of some ethics-counseling, and I think it's a mess and reflects badly on libraries as a whole. Like more bad PR for the flacks who hate libraries already.
3) I've worked for a much-more-dishonest and psycho boss than this, but with some of the same characteristics. Call it picking at a scab, or maybe glee that I'm not personally involved this time.
4) Some of my readers are also interested in the story, and I can post rather than email.
5) Some days I just need something to talk about on the blog.

I think in all of the posting I've done on the issue, I've made one comment about the not-so-mighty one herself, which I consider catty, and I've removed it. Otherwise, I think I've kept my snipy/catty/bitchy editorial comments offsite.

So, dear Catwoman, my suggestion that is anyone in a position of power (or management) by default puts herself Out There as a target. If she can't stand the heat, she shouldn't make stupid-ass mistakes with credit cards. Surely I'm not the only one sniggling. And I know I'm doing less of it that a lot of people, with less of a mean heart. I feel for her as a person, I feel really badly for her family, but hey "If you do the crime, you better be ready to do the time."


By the way: Happy Monday. It's cold and I'm in a blind panic about the fact that company is arriving in less than two weeks and we've got about 6 weeks of projects to finish before then, and I have loads of stuff to do at work. Where's the Xanax??

Yawn

Woke up in the darkness to thunder and lightning last night (this morning?). The Beast is out of town; I don't wear earplugs when he's gone. But I have for at least part of the last two nights: last night because of the thunder, night before last because of the wind making one of our porch chairs thump-rock.

So I'm tired this morning. And I'm amused about the response to my momentarily wish for a gun the other night. Just as an accessory. No bullets.

I was going to post a picture of what I meant. I Googled to find what I had in mind and realized two things: 1) guns aren't so much matte black anymore, and 2) they are ugly and scary.

So, no worries. No "special accessories" for me. I'll stick with a a couple of new pairs of shoes: no waiting period and still dangerous weapons in the right hands (or feet).

Friday first thing

Bad things:
1) I'm at work
2) I have a headache
3) It's cold (47 degrees) and gloomy
4) I'm wearing a long-sleeved T, a vest, a skirt (!) and nylons. For God's sake, nylons in MAY!

Good things:
1) I'm at work (I could be home cleaning for tomorrow night's party...)
2) Sparky's class is coming to the library today: 25 'special' kids on a mission
3) I'm on service desks alone for 2 hours today; I have two hours of 'back-up' which I can probably squirrel out of (Hi, Grammar, howAR ya?)
4) The rain is doing wonderful things to our garden and flowers

Balance:
About even. Things will improve once the headache goes away, right? I just realized, however, that being On Strike against children's books--there are close to 100 waiting now--means that when I do get everything else cataloged, there will be nothing but Skinny Books for a r-e-a-l-l-y
l-o-n-g
t-i-m-e. Oh well.

Desperado

...
Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get
...
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

Hearing this song always makes the day rainy and cold. Today is rainy and cold already (51 although not currently precipitating). It also reminds me of myself all winter. And it reminds me of something completely verbally unexplainable, although I'll try:

sitting on the corral
watching waiting
smoking another cigarette
smoke rising in the distance
gray barn
muck in the corral
grass on the slopes
old hat pulled down over the eyes
rain dripping fore and aft
beat-up boots
torn pants over skinny legs
tight shirt over poky bones
tired

Morning funny

Not sure why this struck me as funny, except maybe I could see deducting Diet Dr. Pepper for the same reason.

Three Signs That Our Society Has Too Much Disposable Income

1) Pet Spas

2) Hummers

3) Corset Piercing

Thanks Shelly

It's May

...Tra la! It's May!
The lusty month of May!
That darling month when ev'ryone throws
Self-control away.
It's time to do
A wretched thing or two,
And try to make each precious day
One you'll always rue!
It's May! It's May!
The month of "yes you may,"
The time for ev'ry frivolous whim,
Proper or "im."
It's wild! It's gay!
A blot in ev'ry way.
The birds and bees with all of their vast
Amorous past
Gaze at the human race aghast,
The lusty month of May....

From "Camelot"

Just a reminder that some traditions need to be kept alive.

Potemkin

Some things don't change. No matter how many centuries pass, it's still a good thing to cover up reality with a coat of paint (which, God knows, was probably needed!).

On the other hand, it's just like Catherine's tour of Russia 300-plus years ago. So who's Potemkin in this analogy.

I was disappointed that not one news analyst mentioned this while discussing Bush's buzz through Georgia. Maybe they will, in digest this weekend. I just find the similarities really amazing.

We're all stupid about something

The Beast and I eavesdrop shamelessly (but not rudely or obviously) at restaurants. It's one of the reasons we like to eat out. People amuse us. Last night was also a lovely night to eat outside in the sunshine.

We were at a table next to two 20-somethings, fairly nice guys, drinking beer and having burgers, flirting with the waitress (possibly a friend of theirs from high school?), and just being puppies. Not really very exciting conversationally, though.

At least, not until we were paying. The waitress brought their bill at the same time as ours, and as The Beast was signing his name, Puppy #1 said, "Oh my God. Oh no! Ashley (the waitress) c'mere! Is Lynn here tonight?"

"Why?"

"I was here the other night and I left her $7 to cover my meal and beers. I figured it was a special deal, so {blah blah can't hear}... Well, no, $7 plus her tip."

"{can't hear but she's starting to laugh}"

"Well, I didn't know you put the drinks on one side of the bill and the food on the other!! I think I underpaid her!" {He's really horrified.}

Ashley rolls her eyes and catches me starting to crack up. We share a smile.

She says to the Puppy, "Lynn's off work tonight." I say (quietly) to The Beast, "Yeah, she's torching your house, dude."

We left them with the Puppy trying to give Ashley some money to give to Lynn....

Fluke

I had a brief moment last night, waiting to meet the rest of our group before the concert, where I wanted to be carrying a gun. No, I didn't want to shoot anyone. Not sure why actually. I couldn't have gone in to the concert. It just somehow seemed like the thing to be wearing.

Musta been the location.

Or I'm losing my mind.

We also got to see a local pro basketball player as we waited. Not that I noticed, or cared, but the BOYS around me sure were salivating. I'd be thrilled to tell you who it was, but I can't remember. He wasn't that tall, honestly (could it be because I stand 5'10" in the shoes I was wearing?), and boy was he young-looking. There were no groupies; just the male U2 concert-goers who noticed him, who were Big Eyes, and his security guy.

Bests

...book title of the day: Bellydancing for Fitness: The Sexy Art that Tones Your Abs, Butt, and Thighs

...therapy: Hair Therapy.

...way to vent: chew out someone else on their blog. Oh, er, no that would be the worst way of dealing with my own problems. Chalk it up to...no, never mind. I am Donna Rice: "No Excuses." Sorry Johnnie.

...staff member: TD, whose place I took here, and who is our official "sub." She is such a Calvinist Buddhist.

...timely fact: today is Bono's birthday.

...reason to drink: it's 80 degrees today, NOT humid, and I've pissed off half the planet.

{Appended:
...word typed today: 'irascibility'}

More soap

Thanks to {a dear reader} for pointing out that ALA has done a blurb on the R PL director's departure.

Interesting slant. I'm just sayin'. ;-)


{edited by siteowner)

U2

On our way to the show last night, we drove under a full rainbow. How cool is that!

Concert Review:
Opening act, Kings of Leon: All right musically, but WAAYY too loud. No clue what the lead singer was going on about. He looked like an elf with a perpetual scowl. Never saw the second guitar player’s face. The bass player was cute, the drummer looked like an accountant in a “rock star wig.” Like I said, musically they were fine, but performance-wise.....bleahhh. They put their heart and soul out there, I'll say that.

Then there was the usual 40-minute lull while the roadies regrouped, removing the pink drum set (!!) and doing amp/guitar/drum checks, loading the techs into the catwalks, checking the lights, etc. The remainder of the stadium filled up eventually, although an empty seat just in front of us stayed empty the entire show. We sat in nosebleed territory directly behind the stage.

This tour has gotten a lot of heat from critics for playing “old stuff” (translation: safe stuff) and just a few songs from "...Atomic Bomb" and not much else. I’m not sure where these critics are seeing the show. OK, Zooropa was not very much in evidence (since I don’t have that CD, I didn’t miss those songs) and I only didn’t recognize one song they did. However, that’s why I pay money to see a band I like at an arena: not to hear a bunch of songs I don’t know/like, but to hear the old things I do like (“Electric Company” “How Long”) along with the good cuts off the new disc.

There were the obligatory social calls for peace-love-and-social-justice (along with a table in the concourse to sign up for and donate to U2's One Campaign) and some subtle light and FX stabs at current world (U.S.) events, which I’m sure that many people missed (George Bush’s profile in Andy Warhol-style lights while Bono sings “Suspicion” anyone??). Really good, mostly unobtrusive stage layout and FX.

I will say that I checked my watch a few times; things could have moved along a little faster. On the other hand, a fan was brought onstage, a young woman who then played “Party Girl” well enough to be accompanied by the Bono singing and the Edge and Adam backing her up. Amazing, that!

Final Score:
Two encores, two times Larry actually left the drum set, one Bono-crawl and -fetal-curl onstage (I have no idea why), two straight-out pleas for the end of poverty, one call for everyone to wave their cell phones, two people behind us who talked (i.e. shouted) through the entire U2 performance. Oh, and some serious audio nerve damage.

Good show, good company (for the most part), fun times.

Plus a cool army-green T-shirt that I don't understand, similar to the shirt near the upper left of this photo: Heart
Peace
Bomb

huh???


Happy Mother's Day to me (I also got two big planters of flowers, two mini traffic cones similar to this and a lovely relaxing day in the sun. Couldn't ask for more.)

Dream dream dream

In the middle of a dream I was having this morning, I found myself dreaming about how to blog what was happening in the dream as part of the dream itself! What does that mean?

And it wasn't even a particularly fun dream although several of ya'll were in it, and I think I was actually living in a flat decorated like Amy's blog which I shared with a relatively invisible guy (just roommates) called ... shit, what was his name? Something unusual like Ludovico or Melvin or something ... anyway, and there was some kind of murder mystery going on. Garbage truck drivers were killing girls. And ... yeah. Lots of semis. And me dressed up like Cookie Monster working at a fast food restaurant.

{{Paging Dr. Freud.}}

Happy Mother's Day

The Lanyard, by Billy Collins

The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

Thanks MPN

Happy Mother's Day to a woman who wouldn't understand this poem, but would still cry; a woman with whom I've fought intensely and incessantly my whole life; a woman who has rarely let me into her heart; a woman who was always gracious about the 'lanyards' I gave her; a woman I've never been able to talk to about much of importance; a woman who defied her husband and sacrificed her old age to give me life...and never once threw it in my face; a woman who sent more mixed signals than AT&T; a woman with whom I once shared a fit of giggles during the Lord's Prayer at church.
Thanks Mom.

Musical Impressions of a Saturday

John Denver, Rocky Mountain High

What a way to start my workday! This must be a regional thing; I never hear John Denver on the radio outside of Colorado.

Jimi Hendrix, Foxey Lady

The Pit, Carroll College. Constantly played on the jukebox, along with The Clash's London Calling. I hated it then, but not hearing it 5 times a day has caused it to grow on me.

Blind Boys of Alabama, (Jesus Hits Like the) Atom Bomb

OK, I can see why these guys got a Grammy nomination. This song is funny and rockin' gospel.

The Jackson 5, Got to Be There

Remember when Michael Jackson was a heartthrob for 10-year-old girls and that was OK? Remember when he had a high voice and that was normal? Great song. Lotsa wasted talent.

Quincy Jones, One Hundred Ways

I always forget Quincy Jones is a singer. This is a good "romantic mood" song that doesn't make me giggle with its stupidity and obviousness.

Prince, Baby I’m a Star

Too bad I don't have big speakers in my cube. Too bad I can't dance at work.
There's not a bad song on this soundtrack.
I will never forget the lights coming up at the end of this movie and staring, stunned, at my college roommate who was staring, stunned, back at me. And she didn't even like Prince! Yes, it's campy and silly in parts (not necessarily the intentionally silly parts, either), but oh my!! I should see if we have the DVD in our collection here at the library.

Brian Setzer & Gwen Stefani, You’re the Boss

Great swing song from his "Dirty Boogie" disc, the title of which always reminds me of one of our former pages and his high school band's song "Dirty Steve." Totally different kind of song...
But yeah, cute song.

U2, New Year’s Day

Why do I love this song? It's one of the first U2 songs I ever heard. It's on an album (yes, an album) I bought through the Columbia Record Club because it was recorded at Red Rocks. Bono was cute, and so was Edge. [Not that they aren't now, but they're getting a little old to be 'cute.'] I think this is on their playlist for Monday night, too. Why would I not love this song?

Ritchie Valens, La Bamba

Funny. Funny. Funny. Good to dance to, too, but not-so-much at work. For some reason I always think of Jenny--from college--when I hear this, although I'm more familiar with Los Lobos' version.

Gordon Lightfoot, If You Could Read My Mind

"Hello. Welcome to the 70s. Sit down, have a line of coke and rest up from your night at Studio 54. Try to impress the smart chicks by listening to Gordon Lightfoot."

“Camelot” Soundtrack, How to Handle a Woman

How? How, indeed. Richard Burton can't sing, but he (and Lerner & Lowe) are right: Love her. Simply love her."

“Ghostbusters” Soundtrack, Ghostbusters

"Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria."
"We've been going about this all wrong, this Mr. Stay Puft's okay, he's a sailor, he's in New York, we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble."
"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass."
None of those quotes are in the song, but it brings it all back as soon as I hear the first notes.

John Mellencamp, Ain’t Even Done With the Night

Can't go wrong with Mellencamp. Just not possible.

Billy Joel, She’s Always a Woman

...or Billy Joel. Sigh. I had such the crush on this guy, till he released "Glass Houses" which was either really lame or over my head.
Still like his music though.

Donna Lewis, I Love You Always Forever

Silly silly song. Good for chair dancing, however.

Norah Jones, Feels Like Home

Whew. This chick has pipes. Great lyrics. Wow wowwow.

Joan Osborne, Pensacola

OK, name another song about trying to find your long-departed father, who ends up being a nutcase living in a trailer and still keeps in touch with all the blood he's donated to support himself?
Wouldn't a Joan Osborne/Janis Joplin/Melissa Etheridge concert kill??

Jewel, Who Will Save Your Soul

I know her rep is pretty flaky, but I like this song because it's not trying to be something it isn't. It's just a nice, clean folky-rocky song sung by an earnest girl with a nice voice.

The Temptations, My Girl

Before McCauley Culkin, this song was a 100 on the Dick Clark/AB scale. It's still up there. I can't imagine a girl who wouldn't want have this sung to her.

Woody Herman, Woodchopper’s Ball

And now, hitting the oldies for sure, from the distant past: the 40s.

Shania Twain, Come On Over

Hey, I like Shania's overproduced songs on this album. At least the fast ones (the slow ones are drippy). So sue me. Good beat, easy to sing along with--I give it an 85. Not brain surgery, but what do you expect on top-40 radio??

Prince, Darling Nikki

Probably not the best song to listen to while trying to work. Makes it very hard to type accurately.

Sound of Blackness, Strange Fruit

If you've never heard this song, I'd recommend either Lena Horne's version or Nina Simone's. If you have, this one is creepily different. And serious. I mean, the subject matter precludes any boppiness. The wind in the background of the a capella singer is just....perfect.

Tobymac, Momentum

Christian rap, a la Eminem. Who'da thunk. I'll be looking for this CD for Sparky.

Howard Jones, Things Can Only Get Better (2001 version)

I like this song, have the original CD it came on (one of the first CDs I ever bought, still playable these 20 years later!). This version is an interesting hybrid of sounds, rock to salsa, that somehow works ok.

Everly Brothers, All I Have to Do is Dream

Hi Laura. Were you snowing me when you insisted you were related to these guys? Even if you were, I always think of you when I hear this song.
It's a great song for those teenage years when you think no one will ever love you.

The Beautiful South, Song for Whoever

Think Housemartins. Amusing song, full of women's names, covering all bases. I'll have to listen to more by these guys.

Charlotte Church, The Holy City

Sounding very young and surprisingly un-vocally-trained--not because she was so well trained, but that I'd never heard how shaky her voice is in this song before. Still, it's a lovely song, and a fair recording.

Rachid Taha, Baadini

This is just weird: sort of Middle East meets Spanish; is he singing in Portuguese? Or Arabic? Somehow it's very compelling. I'd like to hear more of him.

Derek & the Dominoes, Layla

Ahhh, one of the all-time great sex songs. I have warm feelings for Eric Clapton, first engendered when I read that Paul McCartney stole his girlfriend from him in the 60s. I can't explain it, I just like the man; he seems like a decent guy a bit shocked and distressed by where his life has led him.

The Chieftains, Up Against The Buachalawns

Yeah, I like Irish music. I love bagpipes. Will someone please make sure there is at least one piper playing at my funeral? There: I've given you plenty of warning. I hope. Oh, and NOT Amazing Grace. Sing it, but not on the bagpipe; very hackneyed.

Ike & Tina Turner, I've Been Loving You Too Long

Yeah, Tina, you sure have been. Thank God you came to your senses. Yo, Ike, shuddup.

John Mellencamp, The Authority Song

Crank the volume up, crank the car window down, sing along. Guaranteed to help you hate your life much less than before hearing it. I absolutely LOVE the video for this song. That kid is probably close to 30 years old, but I just think the jamming up of the sleeves is so classic.

U2, One

THE. BEST. LOVE. SONG. 'nuf said.

Passion Worship Band, Famous One

Good praise song. Will have to suggest this to the River of Praise folks. Also a potential purchase, for myself.

Don Carlos, Blowin' in the Wind Dub

Simon & Garfunkel/Bob Dylan reggae-style. Hmmm. Weird, but, again, compelling.

Yes, it's true, I have stange taste in music.
It's also true that I love Launchcast.
And I even got some work done today!

Found as I cleaned out my (work) email...

...one sexist joke:

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky. but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a long time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

{Beast, of course, is the exception that proves the rule--usually}

Kid For Sale!Stock Up Now!

There are no selling points. Unless you like living in Hormone City in the country of Crabby-Ass.


YESTERDAY
After-school time started out at 4 or so just fine. Sparky had more homework to do than expected, but I still thought he could get it done in time for us to head back into town, grab a "goodbye" card for Sleek, eat dinner, drop off the card at the library for everyone to sign, and get to my meeting (a monthly meeting that I haven't attended since January!) by 7:00. Did I mention that Thursday night is the night the garbage goes to the curb? Was it necessary for him to spend 27 minutes in the bathroom? {hint: Same answer, both questions}

Then, of course, our #(*%&*# computer has to eat his paper and get the printer involved in a technological revolt. That happened at about 5:15. I 'found' his paper, and over the course of the next half hour--after a call from his dad to check in which I'm sure Beast is sorry he made!--we got everything sorted out and printed. The paper is very poorly written, but I took about 3 steps down that road and quickly turned back! Sometimes it just doesn't pay....

Or, the short version of the afternoon:

Mom: scream, bitch, yell, growl, throw hands up and leave Sparky to figure out his own problems, primarily because he can't seem to communicate what they are
Sparky: pout, glare, growl, whine, complain, cry....but never T-A-L-K

Eventually he got the garbage to the curb and I called the chair to say I wouldn't be at my meeting after all. We drove back to town for the errands, returning home around 7:10 with the realization that I'd forgotten to set up the tape for "Survivor" so we missed the beginning (not a huge loss, really). We're now two weeks behind on all three shows we regularly watch. How sad is that!?

Anyway, we finally ate dinner, after which Sparky was sent packing to bed. I came downstairs and realized that, while he'd actually fed the guinea pigs, they were totally out of water. They drank a half a bottle of water--no lie!--when I refilled it for them.

THIS MORNING
Sparky's up at 6 to catch his 7:30 bus. He spent AN HOUR in the bathroom. A full hour. That left him 10 minutes to eat and 15 minutes to pack up his schoolbag and get outside. During the packing portion of the morning I noticed him with an extra T-shirt in his hand. What for? Oh, it's School Tie-Dye Day today! I questioned if dying that particular shirt is a good idea, so he stomps back upstairs and...

Sparky: pout, glare, growl, whine....but never T-A-L-K
Mom: scream, bitch, yell, growl, tell him he's not leaving for school till we sort out his problems which could take all morning since he can't seem to communicate what they are!

Lovely way to start the day. I took him to school, with one of my white T-shirts for him to tie-dye (my Colorado shirt....{sniffle}).

I went to give blood, vented to the phlebotomist, did a couple other errands--including allergy shots (it's Needle Day for me!)--and came home to find this voicemail at home, time-stamped 8:40 a.m.:

{mumbling} "Hi Mom. {pause}{pause} I forgot...I didn't...The instruc...{sigh}...I didn't do any illustrations for the project that I was working on last night. There are supposed to be pictures. OK. That's all. Talktoyoulaterbye."

[They are required to call a parent whenever they don't finish/turn in their homework.] Yep, so there goes a chance at an A on this big project. The best he can do is a B, and that's if he did everything else right.

But y'know, ok. He's gotta learn. I'm so done chasing down his homework assignments and holding his nose to the grindstone about reading the instructions thoroughly and so forth. He's just gonna hafta do the trial-by-fire method.

I love this kid, but this week has been HELL:

lack of sleep--two separate overnights
plugged up plumbing (TWICE!)
picking up an entire cornish game hen in his hands to eat it
wearing white socks with dress slacks/not wearing a belt with pants
broken TP holder in his bathroom
unmade bed every day this week
mumbling (and pouting and glaring and...)--general sullenness
lack of Thank Yous when he gets help he's asked for
pets? what pets?? We have to remind him EVERY DAY to feed them

Where did our sweet, nice kid go? He used to make his bed. He used to have table manners. OK, he never has had the slightest clothes-sense and he's pretty good at breaking stuff. But he used to remember to say "Please" and "Thank You" pretty regularly.


I know. I know.

I sound like every mother of every (privileged) teenager in America. Yes. It could be worse. Much worse.

I'm going to go meditate on that now, so that when he gets home I don't RIP HIS ARMS OFF AND BEAT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH THEM!!!

So.
Any buyers? I'm about to reduce to price to FREE! TAKE ONE!

Thursday ho-hum

Best book title today: The Enthusiastic Employee

Best chapter title today: "Womb Ecology"

Best song heard today: Bruce Springsteen, "Glory Days"

Funniest song heard today: Lisa Marie Presley, "Idiot"

Weirdest song heard today: The Osborne Brothers, "Hillbilly Fever"

I'ts 2:30 and I can't do anymore cataloging because the work pipeline behind me is completely clogged. I guess I'll download records for Saturday and pray that MEM gets time tomorrow to do some work. Then on Saturday I can fill her cart up again.

I skipped lunch today, so with the exception of the rest of the Nudies (heh heh heh) and a few sunflower seeds, I've gone without food for way too long. I'm hungry. But at this point, there's no point in eating, since Sparky & I will be picking up something at Subway at 4 p.m.

What a bleah day.

[Forgot to mention that the family grapevine has it that my sister-in-law has left my brother. I'm not sure if this is for real or just a visit to her folks after a fight. Oy. Adulthood totally sucks.]

Banner day

Another take on my drive to work:

1. I empty our book drop near my house on Wednesdays and Thursdays. There were 30 items in it this morning, which is about 4 times the usual number. Thank goodness I brought my new bag from World Market (it's not on the site, but it's a garish ad for the Taj Majal complete with sequins...). About three of them were picture books; everything else was HEAVY.
2. I blew through the only stop sign on the main drag near my house. Totally missed it...till I was IN the intersection. At least the cop wasn't there, nor were any kids waiting for buses. My mind was....who-knows-where...maybe on emptying the book drop.
3. My odometer turned 60,000. Woo-hoo.

Now I'm at work and thanking God for C.W. McCall's "Black Bear Road." A great laugh. And for John Denver singing "Thank God I'm a Country Boy." Things are looking up.

Happy Cinco de Mayo.

P.S. Ya'll are letting the Beast off pretty lightly for Mother's Day. Yeah, I like daisies, but shouldn't I get more than a U2 concert out of things this year??

Like watching a train wreck in slo-mo

More news reports:

Library executive director's worth outweighs mistake

(Letter to Editor, May 2)--Crucify her! Crucify her! The [R______ newspaper] Editorial Board has spoken. I dare say that most [R_____]ians have never met [K], executive director of the R_______ Public Library and yet have probably been swayed by the editorial board's opinion. I vigorously disagree with that opinion. I know [K.] to be an enthusiastic and energetic addition to the fabric of our community since accepting the library position in 2002.

LET'S CONSIDER A few of [K.]'s accomplishments in less than three years since her arrival in [R______]. In 2004, the library was awarded the Heart of [R_______] Award by the [____] River District Association. The library's 2004 summer reading program had more than 9,000 participants, a 46 percent increase over the two years before. Also in 2004, the library became one of only a handful of libraries in the world in instituting a "floating collection," a technique for sharing library materials throughout the library facilities and allows the materials to reside in the facility which has the most demand for that item.

In 2003, the library received a $48,000 Eliminate the Digital Divide state grant to install wireless computer labs at three library facilities, and in partnership with [RV] College, provide instruction to library patrons. The library also received a $53,000 state grant to establish the New Financial Opportunities Center, which provides a dedicated area containing financial and investment educational materials in print, audio and video formats. [The] Secretary of State ... congratulated the library with these words: "In these times of fiscal belt tightening, it is uplifting to see your continued commitment to provide new and innovative library services to patrons."

Under [K.]'s leadership, an additional grant of $130,000 was received for a Latino outreach program in which the library partnered with the Literacy Council and La Voz Latina in delivering programs to teach English, citizenship, technology skills and offering after-school tutoring. The library also launched an Internet-based catalog that provides library collection searches, items to be placed on hold, notifications of items added to the library collection, and renewal of checked-out items from wherever there is Internet access.

HOPEFULLY THESE examples cause you to conclude, as I have, that the library has embraced the use of technology to our collective advantage and the library is offering more services than ever before to our community. Such progress doesn't happen without dedicated leadership and vision.

Beyond her library duties, [K.] has volunteered her time to serve as moderator for the Chamber of Commerce Community Awareness Program attended by many up-and-coming community leaders. [K.] has also been recruited to volunteer her service to several area nonprofit boards.

WITHOUT DOUBT, using the library credit card for personal use was inappropriate and I'm sure [K.] is plenty embarrassed. All too often, as a community we focus on the negative and pass judgment without complete knowledge and consideration of relevant issues. In my view, we should celebrate the library's successes rather than participate in the "crucify her" chant.

The library has a talented board whose primary job is to retain and evaluate the performance of the executive director. I suggest that it be allowed to do its job unimpeded by community negativism.

Certainly the [newspaper's] Editorial Board is entitled to its opinion. Please keep in mind this is only an opinion of a handful of people who know considerably less about [K.]'s performance and accomplishments than the Library Board.

I would hate to see our community lose [K.]'s enthusiasm, energy and vision. Those characteristics are in short supply. As a practicing CPA, my views might surprise some. Nevertheless, when [K.]'s talents and accomplishments are given due consideration, I believe they outweigh her foibles by an overwhelming margin.
... a R_____ resident.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Embattled library director resigns

(May 2)-- ... Library board officials tonight announced they accepted the resignation of [K.], the library who has been under fire since February when they learned that she charged more than $1,000 on clothes, groceries and other personal expenses on a library credit card.

[K.], who reimbursed the charges after they were disclosed, will receive three months of severence pay.

The nine-member board discussed [K.]'s situation at last week's meeting in closed session.

[K.] was hired in June 2002 to replace [the former director], who resigned amid complaints of a brash management style.

[K.] worked at libraries in ... Mich., and ... Colo., for five years before coming to R______, where she was earning $81,900 a year.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

R_______ Library Director Resigns
The board indicates it probably will drop plans for a tax referendum next year.

(May 3)--The city's embattled library director resigned Monday after facing months of criticism for abusing a business credit card and failing to meet management goals.

[K.] will receive 90 days' salary under the terms of her resignation, which trustees accepted unanimously after a private, two-hour meeting.

The library's board of trustees will likely nix plans to float a property tax referendum next year to renovate the downtown branch and improve east- and west-side library services because of the recent controversy surrounding [K.], said [the] board President ....

[K.], contacted at home, said stepping down was "the right thing to do." Her departure, in time, may improve the library's chances of passing a tax referendum.

"If this helps them do it, that makes me happy," she said.

Board members' support for [K.] has eroded since trustees learned that she charged more than $1,000 in clothes, groceries and other personal expenses on a library credit card. [K.] reimbursed the charges, though trustees suspended her credit-card privileges for six months.

[K.] came under fire again in April when trustees handed her a one-week suspension with pay for failing to meet management objectives. Board members said they considered firing [K.] at that meeting but couldn't reach a consensus.

[The Board president] would not speculate whether the board would have fired [K.] had she not resigned. He praised [K.] for boosting the library's circulation and summer reading club participation "while bringing the library under budget during challenging economic times."

"I think it was the sense of the board that in order for the library to go forward and achieve its goals that this was the time that we needed to accept her resignation to move the organization forward," [he] said.

[K.] praised her staff for the successes she oversaw since taking the library's helm in June 2002.

...

"When people say R_______ isn't open to change, they can't be talking about the R______ Public Library staff," [K.] said.

"I'm most proud of the budgetary reforms that will allow the library to go to taxpayers and say 'We've done everything we can to get our financial house in order before we ask you for more money.' "

...[T]he library's associate director of public services, will serve as acting director until a director is hired.

The library hired [her] in March. She was previously human resources and finance director for [a district library in] Mich.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Library Chief Versed in Finance
The interim director also was chosen for her rapport with staff.

(May 4)--[T]he city's acting library director while a permanent replacement is chosen, was tapped for her financial background and rapport with staff, the Library Board president said Tuesday.

[She] is stepping in for [K.], who resigned Monday amid criticism for using a business credit card for personal expenses and failing to meet management goals.

[She] joined the library in March as associate director of public services. She was previously human resources and finance director for [a district library in] Mich. and library director for the F_____ (Mich.) Area District Library.

"She's second in command and has served as a director before. She has a financial background and has worked very well with the staff in the time she's been there," [the] board President ... Brien said.

"With her experience, we felt she was the perfect person for that position."

[She] could not be reached for comment Tuesday.

She will be responsible for the library's day-to-day functions and "doing her best to maintain and improve the morale of the employees," [the Board president] said.

The library's board of trustees will hire a consulting firm to help with the search for [K.]'s replacement. [The Board president] said there has been no discussion with [the assistant director] about taking the director's job permanently.

[K.] earned $81,900 a year.

"We're planning on going through the process to find the best person suited to lead the library," he said. "([The assistant director's) position now doesn't preclude her from applying, and that's always an option. But we want to open things up."

Such is the soap opera that is library administration.

Side note: Does anyone else find it...strange...that the interim director has "rapport" after only 2 months (probably less) at this library? Hmmmm....

{edited by siteowner}