Monday, May 12, 2008

I dunno...

...perhaps I actually need to do something proactive about my emotions.

I'm really bummed again tonight. Overwhelmed-bummed, irritated-bummed, thence to sad-bummed. Why?
  • Mission-trip stuff is freaking me (the fuck) out

  • Youth group stuff in general is freaking me (the fuck) out

  • Money stuff (also related to the mission trip, but household too--we're fine, just had a rough month)

  • Talked to my niece today; things are not good in her marriage...and she's a prize to talk to in any event

  • Beast is out of town; normally that's not a big deal, but I'm feeling so incredibly insecure right now that EVERYthing is a big deal

  • I'm still terminally irritated with several people, and can't figure out how to let go of it

  • Residual concern about my mom...from the conversation I had Saturday with my sister

  • Got a really terse message from my boss in email today leading me to believe that I was inadvertantly involved in a fuckup on Saturday. I'm totally feeling like I can't win for losing at work lately. I don't want to BE there--still like my job, but omfg I hate the place.

  • Not looking forward to a call I have to make tomorrow relating to our Memorial Day plans: Sparky won't be able to participate in the parade for very good reasons. I'd better not get flak.

  • Catalog meeting Wednesday. I'm less than thrilled. I have to do an agenda tomorrow.

  • Church meeting tomorrow night. I'm supposed to have a job description written for youth leader--it was due two months ago--and I haven't been to this particular meeting in awhile, and...guiltguiltguilt
Now I'm annoyed at the pity party taking shape around me.

I just wonder if every time someone in my family gets sick/gets hurt, I'm going to get to relive the inadequacies of all the previous times we've dealt with this?

Urban Word:
dk/dc: Don't know/don't care
I wish I could really integrate into my psyche my exterior, carefree, dk/dc attitude....

PS--On the other hand, it's pretty hard not to laugh at Dirty Jobs tonight. Mike is just not having a good time: toxic mold, dead rats, sucking turkey sperm, and god only knows what the girl turkeys have in store for him.

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