Because I needed this today

Weekend

May is the stupid-busiest month of the year for anyone with kids in school. I realized this about 7 years ago when I noticed all my mom-friends with multiple kids losing their minds by May 10. It doesn't help that May is also when the yard starts needing attention, several summer sports start up, and allergies kick in for those who suffer from pollen sensitivities. The good news is that April and its showers are over; the bad news is that the flowers and trees are ALL blooming.

[Aside: as someone who has year-round allergies to--as someone at work put it yesterday--"everything known to mankind," I have to say that people with seasonal allergies make me laugh, when I'm not rolling my eyes internally. Rolling them for real hurts right now. Yeah. Cry me a river, folks--this is my baseline, my starting position year-round.]

OK, bitchy aside over. I really haven't felt good all week. That's my excuse, and mostly my bitching has been internal or venting to two Very Specific People. But the allergy thing for me is kinda like me complaining about a headache to one of those people, or a backache to the other.

See how I get distracted?

I was going to talk about schedules in May. When Sparky was in Little League this was the middle of the 'season' and there were games 2-3 times each week. There always seems to be extra homework this month, and of course major projects are coming due. The end-of-year concerts, plays, and programs are in May. The pressure is on everywhere, which means time is at a premium.

There are, of course, non-kid-related activities that have to be fit in as well. The regular grind of appointments and schedules--cleaning, cooking, maintenance, etc. And, if you want to have a social life, that's always fun to try to fit in.

So this weekend, here's our schedule:

FRIDAY: I will be doing laundry all day, and tidying our Disaster Zone (i.e. house). Beast left at 7:30 to cover several appointments for himself and his dad, and he will be spending at least 2 hours in teleconferences later today. Sparky has school all day followed by football training--yeah, I haven't mentioned that heretofore, have I? We will pick him up from school and then head to a hotel for tonight. He is attending a manga/anime conference tonight and tomorrow morning and early on I volunteered to make it easier on him and get a room for us nearby so he doesn't lose so much time traveling back and forth. Beast and I will probably go see a movie (Star Trek?) tonight while Sparky is manga-ing.

SATURDAY: Conference-y stuff in the morning. We will check out late and snag him from the conference by 1:00 or so and head home, stopping for corsage pickup on the way. Sparky will shower out of his anime "persona"--I didn't mention the costume aspect, did I?--and pack up for his evening activities. There's a tux involved. And a swimsuit for later. He needs to be at his date's house by 3:30 for pictures, and then they will head to the high school to catch the bus at 5:00. They will be gone for approximately 12 hours, arriving back from post-prom about 4:45. A. M. Maybe Beast and I will go see another movie in the evening. I know we'll need to go to the grocery store at some point.

SUNDAY: One of us needs to pick up Sparky at o'dark-hundred and bring him home and pour him into bed. Maybe we'll get another hour or two as well, but Beast and I will need to be out of the house by about 11 because we have tickets to see the Broadway traveling show of Mary Poppins. We will be gone till close to 6 Sunday night. At some point during the day, Sparky will need to do his homework and get all his tux stuff back together. Oh. And it's Mother's Day.

Monday I will get back on the daily schedule stuff, but I need to take the tux back.

Sigh.

Next week is German Honor Society induction. There's another band concert on the horizon. We have fundraiser stuff we need to deliver. I need to schedule a physical for Sparky for football. Things are reaching crunch time for prep for our youth group mission trip and there is a TON of stuff to do for that. Oh, and there is a retirement party for someone at work, and the changes that will come when her replacement begins. And it seems like everyone I know over the age of 80 is ending up in the hospital and/or nursing care this spring. That could stop. Please.

So yeah. I may not be around here much.

[this took me almost two hours to write--but there is laundry in progress, and I've started to think through the rest of the day at home]

Swine Pooh

OMGROFL.

Best commentary on the current hysteria.

Poetry Month

To honor the end of poetry month:

{h/t Cheesehead}

I can't help but poke fun, y'know.

Two pieces of good news

One work-related, one non-work.

The work-related one involves the cataloging of photos. As the little birdie who told me said, "We win, I think." There were concessions and compromises on both sides, but the best part is PsychoDirector (not to be confused with--though visually she could be!--PsychoBoss) lost a lot of ground after expending an awful lot of energy to essentially increasing her library's "items owned" by 25% again while making our catalog a mess.

The non-work one is that I'm going to see The Wizard of Oz tomorrow, at a Big Fancy Theatre in the Huge City to the East. It means catching a train and meeting Beast who will be on his way home from a business trip Down South. We will meet at about 5, drive the rest of the way, find a place to eat near the theatre and not get home till...uh, after midnight probably. Fortunately, neither of us has to work Friday morning.

Tomorrow's the last day of Poetry Month.

You know what that means....

Mah baby

...is escorting a friend to prom.

She's a junior so she wants to go but couldn't finagle a 'date' (i.e., scheme her way into getting a guy to ask her, so props to her). She Fb'd Sparky last night and asked if he was willing. [Cuz she has to get tickets tomorrow]

They'll have fun. He's like the official fallback position for several girls he knows.

I'm amused. Now we have to figure out this tux thing...

Not-bullets

1. Hey, it's poetry month! Hence the poems that have posted the past two days (oh, how I love post-dating!).



2. My Bloglines front page says I have "63 updated feeds" which include 367 unread posts. I also have 172 saved posts. I think this means I am officially buried.



3. I am caught up in tweets and Fb, though. Short Attention Span rules the day!



4. I am not loving Fb's 'update'. Just discovered that you can't do "less of/more of" individuals. People are either in your news feed, or not. That explains why I get RSS'd updates in Bloglines for Stephanie, Kyle, Kevin, et al., but never see 'em on Facebook; in the old incarnation they were "less of" but now they are invisible. Guess I'll create a 'group' of them so I can find them periodically. Stupid. How is this an upgrade, Fb??



5. Today I am meeting someone with whom I may be spending a great deal of time in the future, someone who may strongly influence my external happiness meter. Hope that goes well.



6. This weekend is crazy busy: local mission trip on Saturday (more on that, perhaps, later). On Sunday I'm playing in the bell choir at church which will be followed immediately by an Easter Egg hunt for the little kids. The youth group is going to hide the eggs, so as soon as worship is over, I have to go into supervision mode. Whee.



7. My mom's health is stable. That's all. I have not bought plane tickets. Not...quite...yet.



8. Found a shirt this morning in my closet I had forgotten about. It was with the summer shirts, but it's a long-sleeved T. Why, yes: I am wearing it today, as a matter of fact!



9. I'm nearly caught up in cataloging new materials at work, but suddenly feel absolutely swamped in projects. Graphic Novels, biogs, gifted videos and manga, calling STOOPUD publishers to cancel subscriptions (Dun&Bradsteet, you SUCK!) original cataloging, typos, fairy tales...the floodgates have opened.



10. Our system database manager at work needs to be punched in the face. This has nothing to do with anything else in this post. He just does. On principle.



11. Sparky has reverted to 100% teenager. Glad he's normal. Wish he'd pull his head out a little more often though.



12. The sun is out. This is a good thing, yo.

Snippets

• My current Fb status:

#@&$ skinny kids' books ... Hate. Them.

• An email I sent today:

Here is one of those s.h. that I hate….there isn’t one for Mardi Gras in LCSH. We’re supposed to use "Carnival." I’ve updated the Google Doc and imported the Authority Record so we have X-refs. I only see a handful of incorrect headings in [our catalog] right now. Can everyone check and fix those they own?

• A Fb conversation (private) with a subject heading that contains the words "bl0w j0b" has 34 discrete messages between me and a BFF (female). Only the first one or two messages have to do with the act in the heading (ahem). This one certainly doesn't:

I am neither Celine Dion's husband (have I mentioned that my dad likes the way she "sings"?) nor Woody Allen {gag} {shudder} {barf}.

I knew. I was just teasing you, in direct violation of a direct order from Doc L. (which is, creepily, my dad's nickname. {gag} {shudder} {barf}.)

• As I was swearing at the children's librarian in my head about buying all the picture books from my childhood 30 years ago (instead of NEW BOOKS!), the song "Drop Down Dead" (The Housemartins) came on. I'd post the lyrics, but there is an internet ban on all Housemartin lyrics. For some reason.

• And one of our neighbors passed away yesterday.

• All in all not a fabulous morning. I have an hour on the Reference desk this afternoon. That should be fun. {choke}

Inaugural

Cat. is watchin’ the inauguration in [Facebook]. So 21st century, yo 8:44 am
Cat. thinks the new limo looks like a hearse. How very unfortunate. C’mon Caddy, you can do better! 8:52 am
Cat. is pretty sure I wouldn’t be enjoying myself in Washington. Brrr…[and] crowds. Ugh 8:54 am
Cat. did not realize how TALL Michelle is! 8:56 am
Cat. uh oh the internet is freaking out here! 8:58 am
Cat. THAT IS A LOT OF PEOPLE! Yikes. 9:01 am
Cat. wants a second monitor. 9:05 am
Cat. is pleased that she doesn’t have to work in public [during the inauguration]. 9:09 am
Cat. reminds you that the Big TV is on at the library. Come watch with us! 9:17 am
Cat. Now the fun starts: identify the famous person…. 9:23 am
Cat. loves the Marine Band. Really. It’s the only reason I’d consider joining the military. 9:27 am
Cat. Oh yawn…. 9:28 am
Cat. …famous people I CARE about…not politicians. Yes, I know, I suck. 9:33 am
Cat. 2000 [Facebook] updates per minute? Wow. That’s amazingly…amazing. You know. Whatever. 9:37 am
Cat. wonders when the internet is going to implode from all the users today…. 9:42 am
Cat. oh too bad--Cheney's hurt.... 9:46am
Cat. loves Colin Powell. A lot. 9:49am
Cat. oh boy, there goes our 'net feed...slowing WAY down.... 9:52am
Cat. wow awesome shots of the streets and the Mall. 9:53am
Cat. COOOOOOOOLLLLLLL motorcade. 9:55am
Cat. This has to be weird and sad for Hillary. 10:16am
Cat. Ros[lyn Carter] looks frail. :-(. 10:19am
Cat. Bears colors on the kids! hee hee.
Cat. Say goodnight Graci...er, Laura. 10:28am
Cat. OMG--that's awesome to hear--O-ba-ma. - 10:30am
Cat. is going to TV to share with people. 10:37am

M. commented at 10:37am
me too

L. commented at 10:52am
look at you changing your status like a play by play. haha...love it! so exciting.....

Cat. great speech. 11:32am
Cat. "to turn to each other and not on each other" Amen. 11:36 am
Cat. I want this guy [Lowery] to be nearby so I can go to his church! 11:38am
Cat. Piccolo solo. [Stars & Stripes Forever] 11:42am
Cat. No, I think I'll go back to "Great Speech." 11:43am
Cat. ... are they going to walk the parade route? Hmmmm. 11:49am
Cat. W has left the building! 11:57am
Cat. Statutory Hall??? How about Statuary Hall, d.a.? 12:05pm
Cat. is done with lunch so, k, the parade can start ANY time. So...go already! 1:13pm
Cat. wonders: is it in-AWG-er'l, or in-AWG-yuh-ruhl? 1:22pm

Cat. commented at 1:33pm
Random House says the proper pronunciation is in-aw-gyer-uhl, but in-aw-ger-uhl is the secondary choice.So I say it right, and the chick on CNN is wrong. heh

Cat. is glad they just replayed Aretha [I missed it the first time]--NICE job!!! 1:47pm
Cat. ...bummer, I think they're riding in the limo for the parade. 2:24pm
Cat. that's a lot of cops leading the parade. 2:42pm
Cat. OMG--they're outta the car! YAY and W00t!! 3:06pm
Cat. ...and why did they suddenly get yanked back to the limo...? 3:11pm
Cat. still likes military bands the best. 3:14pm
Cat. agrees that this is reminiscent of Beatlemania (not that I remember that) 3:16pm
Cat. can't believe the CNN guy things Michelle Obama is amazing because she can handle cold weather. Puhleeze! 3:33pm

And then I had to leave work and go grocery shopping and do boring stuff like that for two-plus hours, so I missed the rest of the parade. Boo.

From Thursday a.m.

Beast and I had a lovely chat Thursday morning. He was at work, I was "getting ready to leave for work" (i.e., eating breakfast [i.e. goofing around on the computer before RACING through the rest of the preparations])

[07:20] Psalm23: I just discovered that they now make pancakes in a spray can
[07:20] Psalm23: OK, just the batter (and there's music on that site--beware)
[07:22] Beast: great - instead of mainlining whipped cream, you can do pancake batter instead.
[07:22] Psalm23: but it's ORGANIC
[07:22] Psalm23: rofl
[07:23] Beast: available at [local chain], meijer and [another local chain]!
[07:23] Psalm23: "dicalcium phosphate" don't we grow that around here?
[07:23] Beast: yeah, i saw that. organic compressed crap in a can. the CANS, so organic, too.
[07:24] Psalm23: yes
[07:24] Psalm23: very eco friendly
[07:24] Psalm23: (I may buy one just as a giggle)
[07:25] Beast: yeah - and after making fun of it, we'll probly like it.....
[07:25] Psalm23: we can make fun of liking it!
[07:25] Psalm23: Oooh, I'll take it to Amy's on Saturday!
[07:25] Beast: you're doing organic breakfast?
[07:26] Psalm23: who says we can't have pancakes or waffles for lunch??
[07:27] Beast: it WOULD save on the mess of mixing the batter
[07:27] Beast: how much does a can cost, do u know?
[07:27] Psalm23: no dishes to wash
[07:27] Psalm23: just eat off the griddle!
[07:27] Psalm23: I'd guess at about $5
[07:28] Beast: just the opposite of sticking your tongue on a frozen pole, eh?
[07:28] Psalm23: oooh, the can is RECYCLABLE!!!
[07:28] Psalm23: I'm not sure where to find it in the store, though.
[07:28] Psalm23: Near the milk/eggs?
[07:28] Psalm23: Near the Bisquick?
[07:29] Beast: in the refrigerator section....
[07:30] Psalm23: ok, I really should go finish getting ready for work
[07:30] Beast: Banana and Nutella Pancakes with Hot Buttered Rum Sauce
[07:30] Psalm23: oooooh, lovely
[07:30] Beast: recipe on the web site
[07:30] Psalm23: see, now THAT's not breakfast
[07:30] Psalm23: and kinda messy, too
[07:31] Beast: Christmas Tree – You can make a simple Christmas tree shaped pancake – add M&Ms for the ornaments and a Hershey's Kiss star.
[07:31] Psalm23: CREAM CHEESE FROSTING!!!!!
[07:31] Beast: copied off the site, again
[07:32] Psalm23: yeah, I'm there [on the site] too
[07:32] Beast: snowy pancakes....
[07:32] Psalm23: I'm totally LMAO
[07:32] Beast: probly developed by some schmuck in [the town where we live]
[07:32] Psalm23: Nope: San Francisco I googled their phone
[07:33] Psalm23: AIMED at [the town where we live], no doubt
[07:33] Psalm23: I will be looking for these......
[07:33] Beast: "I didn't have any mixing bowls left, so I opened up an old can of WD-40, stuffed some batter inside, and voila!"
[07:33] Beast: (inventor on Martha Stewart Live)
[07:34] Psalm23: oh, it totally gets better
[07:34] Psalm23: The phone number used to belong to a company called Periodic Tables: a cabinetry business [helps here to know that Beast is a chemist]
[07:35] Beast: lmao
[07:35] Psalm23: They apparently diversified!!
[07:35] Beast: i LIKE that
[07:35] Beast: well, you have to use the tables for SOMETHING
[07:35] Psalm23: rofl

We crack ourselves up. The rest of the joke, however, is that I bought a couple of cans and took them to Amy's yesterday...and the pancakes aren't half bad.

Nibbled to death

A great day. No, seriously, it was. Keep that in the forefront your mind, because much of this post is straight, full-on vent.

Wonderful company in Beast and Sparky, FIL, Gerb, and Alan. And then there's Katherine--my only blood relative besides Sparky in the house today. She needs to be spanked. I had high hopes for her this holiday. When she and Alan arrived yesterday she was in good spirits and generally was pleasant company. That continued for much of the morning today...until mealtime.

I am generally aware of the emotional currents in a room but not always clear where the whirlpools are developing until they have become riptides, but damn if today I didn't visibly watch Katherine commence with her poutiness. When Sparky reminded us, rather late in the visit, that we were going to play Scrabble, her eyes lit up (she L O V E S board games) and then she and Alan disappeared upstairs to pack up their overnight bags so they could take off for his mom's. There was glaring; she wanted to stay, he wanted to get to his mom's. I think the issue was that we should have mentioned game-playing earlier so she could participate. Her parting shot to Sparky was something like, "I'll play Scrabble with you next time, and I'll win" followed by a comment about being told not to be falsely modest about one's talents. And they were out the door.

Stunning.

Clueless.

Floored.

I realize that we all have one relative that we want to keep in a closet, but she was unbearably rude to our friend today and not much more than civil with FIL, especially as the day wore on.

A telling moment was when she mentioned that the two of them (Katherine and Alan) have had couples' counseling as part of the adoption process they are going through, and she thinks the therapist is crap because "She keeps bringing up the same things over and over." Well...DUH! I bet I know which ones, too (it would be a guess--Katherine didn't share that much!).

We had a wonderful, fairly relaxing day spent with some of the people we love the most in the world, talked to most of our out-of-state family on the phone, were cheered by and cheery with them, got quite the haul of good gifts ... yet all I want to do is call Katherine tomorrow and read her the riot act for having the grace and tact of a shit-covered rock pitched through a stained-glass window. I am not fond of the concept of family feuds, but I'm rarin' to go on this one; I am so TIRED of her behavior. She is nearly 37 years old, a professional with an advanced degree, was raised by parents with some semblance of a clue as far as social behavior--and every time I spend time with her, I want to strangle her by the end of it. It's probably good that I work tomorrow, and we have electronics to set up and Thank You notes to write over the weekend so I'll be too busy to call. Cooling off periods are good.

To end on a happier note, the doorbell rang in the midst of yesterday morning's snow and I found on my snowy porch a delivery man with flowers. Thank you, Jenny. I love you, and I am grateful every day for you.

I don't want to brag or make the rest of you envious, but I have to say that my two best girlfriends are the BEST friends ever.

Things teenagers say

Mood: tired and verging on cranky, but not quite there...yet
Hair: I think it looks good, but I haven't checked since this morning, 12 hours ago. The front is pulled up in a barrette at the crown.
Eyes: tired
Listening to: commercials (we're waiting for Survivor to start)

[FYI: if you don't use Facebook, much of the first paragraph will sound rather bizarre...hang in there.]
So, I was at church yesterday doing the usual homework thing with the youth group. I finished what I was doing on the Mac there and decided to check Facebook for any updates. I was visiting a friend's page and leaving a note on his wall, right next to his profile picture. A couple of the kids happened to glance over just then and the following discussion took place:

"Whoooo's THAT!?" says Ika. Braids chimes in, "Yeah, who's he??" They both hop off their chairs and walk over behind me.

"He's a guy who used to work at the library [very part time, as a consultant]," I reply, looking at his photo a little more closely than I had up to that point.

"Ohhhh, so he's OLD?" Braids says, and Ika starts to move back to the table.

"He's...uh, birthday is...." I realize that he was born at the end of my junior year of high school. Holy crap! "I could be his mom! Never realized that till now!"

"Wow!!! OOOOLLLDDDDD!!" Ika says, as she turns back to her calculus book. Braids just crosses the room, nodding.

He's 11 or 12 years older than they are. And I always had him in the Very Young category of people I know.

I guess it totally depends on perspective.

[Yes, I shared this story with him. Hey, it's a compliment, even if it was followed by 100% smackdown. And they are pretty discriminating girls in the Boys + Looks area.]

Otherwise, today = deadly boring.

---

WordSpy Word:

adorkable : adj.Delightful and charming in a socially awkward way. [Blend of adorable and dork.]

I have adorkable friends.

Busy busy

Mood: good
Hair: blown out and that's it so far
Eyes: sleepy
Listening to: the toaster ticking

This was a big weekend, one of those when there were at least two things going on at all times, choices to make about where to be and which option to choose.

Friday was my sister Ellen's 59th birthday. That can't be right, but it is. That means I'm the age now that she was when the cancer started growing in her. Signpost.

Saturday when I got to work, I found confirmation of some big news. No: HEE-YUUUUUGE news. 2009 is going to be...interesting. And I cataloged 100 books on the same day I was at the Reference desk for nearly half my day. Not that I did the cataloging at the Ref Desk...hell no! It was just a pleasantly quiet day; no drama, no freaking out. Some of the people at MPOW can function as adults when faced with upcoming change.

Yesterday was Church Activity Day Times a Billion. It was Music Sunday at our church, and there was a Congregational Meeting to confirm the nominations for next years' slate of Elders and Deacons, and it was the last Session meeting of the year, which traditionally is when the old and new Session members and Deacons mingle and eat together. As Clerk of Session, it was a big day for those last two reasons.

However, the Clerk wasn't there. At the time of the Congregational Meeting, the Clerk (with the Chair of the Nominating Committee and ten other people) was on a train with a lot of people wearing blue and orange and heavy winter clothing. At the time of the luncheon/meeting, we were exiting a Really Fancy Church and getting ready to hit the streets. Actually, most of us pretty much stuck around here, although some braver souls ventured to neighboring shopping emporia like Borders and the Hershey Store. By 3:30 we were on the bus back to the train, where we rode with some of the same blue- and orange-dressed people we'd seen in the morning.

This is an annual tradition for our church's youth group, one which we inherited from previous leaders. It's important because they (we) get to experience a worship service that is Presbyterian but wholly different in tone from our church. Many of the kids over the years have noted that they've never 1) ridden the train, 2) taken a city bus, 3) been to the Big City to the East...before this trip. These are high school kids--that boggles my mind. By the time I was in high school I was riding the bus in Denver, and had been all over the place outside my little area of the universe. I'd even ridden a train, though it was a tourist thing, not a commuter.

In any case, Beast and I spent the afternoon in the Borders cafe after purchasing puzzle books for each of us to work on. That's the extent of the shopping I did.

It was a fun day.

Coming up this week: printing off the dreaded Xmas letter and address labels, putting up the tree, etc., wrapping the presents I have and figuring out what I still need to buy (and maybe even shopping for 'em!), sending the parent letter out about the mission trip... Yeah, the fun just never stops around here.

---

Urban Word:

Mass Merchanditis: The hazy feeling one gets after spending too much time shopping at large chain stores including but not limited to Walmart, Home Depot, and Bed, Bath and Beyond. Characterized by a headache, dry eyes, blurred vision, blank stare, sore feet.

We were fortunate yesterday not to have the opportunity to experience mass merchanditis, though there was a small outbreak of "where's the exit?!" from one group trapped in Macy's.

VOTE!

Niiiiice*!!!

---

*OMG--I am quoting Borat! Desperate times = desperate measures.....

Wut Aih ded yisst'rdee (in diəlec)

[How it would sound if you could hear me--and DO NOT go Southern--this is done with a fairly generic Middle America pronunciation and rhythm. Stuff in () is barely pronounced/heard, but sometimes serves a syllabic need. A lot of words are run together in normal speech, so I incorporated that: "for instance" is usually said as 'forinstance', for instance. ;-)]

Mood: Ohkeyy, bud'nutherr frickən' synəs-hedək!
Hayər: RIIILLY niyds wa(r)shin
Is: Fyən. Aih nodəssed thət this morrnən--the' fill ə hun(d)erd pursen(d) fyən. Ignor'bl, eeivən.
Lisnin tə: Si(a)lenss. W'll, ohkeyy: small arrms poppin in thə distənce (hut həntin seasən 'r we-iyən?), ə lonmorr əcross-ə strit...

Wee unpackt boxes yestərrdaee, lahtsə boxəs. Dəz ennywun ou-thayrr nee(y)d enny boxəs? Wee hafv ə fee(y)oo. Wee yalso foun lotsə piəls. Lots n lotsə piəls. Thə ray-show luks lyəck sixdee pursen(d) pazd they-ərr yooz-bi(y) dayts, fordee pursen(d) rel'tivelih sayf. Dəz ennnywun ou(d)-thayrr nid enny Advəl ərr arrthrahtəs paən med'cayshun?

Weeyalso unpackt buks. Wee unpackt k'mpyoodərr c'mpon(ə)nts n hukt'əmall d'ga(i)therr. Weeyunloaded əfee(y)oo m'rr grroshrees intə thə minnaskyool kiətchən cubbərd spayss, stackt thə han'towls (they-ərracshullee goff towls--grayt repurrpəssin, Da(ə)d!) morr neetlih, n sedaside ade ər niyn fər wa(r)shin. Sig'ret smoke leevins ər grrohs, bah thə waəy.

Weeyate ad MəcDonals fə(r)lunch (əgən, ashooshooəl, ətsetrə) ən aih mayd Med(i)traneeən chick'n fə(r)dinnərr--awliyvs, caypərrs, pepperrs n 'green errbee stuff' wi chick'n bress.

Weeyərr sleepən in n dooən nuthən t'day. Yayy. Well, 'ntil tənite wen wee ha(i)v ə yooth groop meetin.

This is what it looks like in standard English:

Mood: OK, but another freaking sinus headache!
Hair: REALLY needs washing
Eyes: Fine. I noticed that this morning--they feel...100% fine. Ignorable, even.
Listening to: Silence. Well, ok: small arms popping in the distance (what hunting season are we in?), a lawnmower across the street...

We unpacked boxes yesterday, lots of boxes. Does anyone out there need any boxes? We have a few. We also found lots of pills. Lots and lots of pills. The ratio looks like 60% past their use-by dates, 40% relatively safe. Does anyone out there need any Advil or arthritis pain medication?

We also unpacked books. We unpacked computer components and hooked them all together. We unloaded a few more groceries into the minuscule kitchen cupboard space, stacked the hand towels (they are actually golf towels--great repurposing, Dad!) more neatly and set aside 8 or 9 for washing. Cigarette smoke leavings are gross, by the way.

We ate at McDonalds for lunch (again, as usual, etc.) and I made Mediterranean chicken for dinner--olives, capers, peppers and 'green herby stuff' with chicken breasts.

We are sleeping in and doing nothing today. Yay. Well, until tonight when we have a youth group meeting.

(By the way, when I said goodbye yesterday to Dad, he said thank you; my knee-jerk, thought-free response was “You betcha.” Then I realized what I’d said and started giggling...and mentally composing this post.)

This took awhile to do, but I would recommend doing a transcription from a recording of yourself speaking 'normally' (for you).

For those of you who have heard me speak IRL, this is an attempt at writing the way I sound when I "go home" to Colorado, or if you prefer an attempt at how we talked when I was growing up. You may not think I actually (acshullee) sound like this at all, but it's how I sound in my head to a certain extent.

If I had done this with something my mom taped (when she could speak at all), it would have been killer funny. I think I have something with both my parents on it--maybe I'll transcribe a bit....in my free time.

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Urban Word:

FNG: Military term. 'Fucking New Guy' [is] usually someone just out of training or just transfered into the unit/AO, who either hasn't proved his worth or doesn't know how to operate properly due to lack of experiance.

Nobody seems to like FNGs (male or female), but we've all been one. Suck it up.

Two things

1. To my East Coast-born or -located friends: I was not talking to you. By definition, if you are my friend (on- or off-line), you aren't a fucktard.


2. Pyongyang is a fun word to say. I wonder if it is fun to say in Korean....

PLUS: if someone sees my brain scooting around somewhere, please nudge it my direction. Better yet, replace it with one that doesn't keep falling out, please.

We are officially DORKS

Mood: OK, tired
Hair: very warm on my neck
Eyes: they are behaving today
Listening to: see remainder of entry.

Dorks, because Beast is clicking on animals (etc.) on Bzzzpeek and we are making fun of everyone. I recommend the horse, but you probably should work up to it. Start with cats, chickens, and ambulances.

OMG--some of them are just...weird. Apparently, owls are terrifying in India, and the person doing the Chinese horse was actually doing sheep through a mechanical duck call and adding a touch of frog. No horse in earshot.

Donkeys are funny wherever you go.

And Croatian toads have lengthy conversation!

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Urban Word:

Early Nerd Special: Midnight showing on the day of release of a highly-anticipated film [or book], typically of the science-fiction/fantasy genre.

Sparky was anxious to get his copy of Brisingr, but not anxious enough to pull an Early Nerd Special.

Funny ads

Mood: ok
Hair: unwashed
Eyes: fubar
Listening to: the carbonation in my pop can

These ads are pretty funny, especially for those who've ridden on the Tube. There is just something quintessentially British about them. My favorite, from the "only in England" files: "Thanks, mate."

found here

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Urban Word:

mouse potato: Someone who spends all their time on the computer surfing the net or playing games. Similar to couch potato.

It was bad enough to witness the devolution of humanity to mouse potato, but now that people can take their games with them, does that make them phone potatoes? Tube potatoes, in the case above?

Wordy again

I have an enormous collection of words for the end of posts. It's getting out of control; I don't use every Urban Dictionary choice, but I save many of them for appropriate days. However, between Urban Dictionary and WordSpy, I have over 40 currently saved. So in a post that will be boring for those of you who don't like this sort of thing, here are some of those I can't figure out how to use but I hate to delete.

Urban Word:

text support: Advice, encouragement delivered via text... frequently related to dating and boss hating. Pronounced like tech support.

I'm kind of wondering tonight if I need to provide some text support to a friend who doesn't sound like her evening is going to be fun.

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Urban Word:

proximity infatuation: An infatuation that develops out of close-quarters operation with another person.

With school starting back up, all those proximity infatuations of summer are coming to an end, to be exchanged for new ones at school.

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Urban Word:

Application for Debt: An offer of credit from a financial institution.

The Applications for Debt go directly to the shredder in our house.

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Urban Word:

bats in the cave: visible clumps of nose goblins, often found clinging to nasal hair.

It's awfully uncomfortable to talk to someone with a large collection of bats in the cave.

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Urban Word:

photobombing: Intentionally posing in other people's photos, for a later surprise.
Usually people making funny faces in the background, without the knowledge of the main subjects of the photo.

I think I need to start looking at the photos I've taken on vacation to check for signs of photobombing.

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Urban Word:

ITYF: Acronym for 'I think you'll find' because sometimes FYI just isn't irritating and smug enough.

There are certain ponytailed acquaintances of mine for whom this acronym was created.

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Urban Word:

date shield: A female 'friend' who shows no outward interest in you, but will go all out to prevent you from hooking with other women by slagging you behind your back.

I think the date shield phenomenon is WAY more prevalent in reverse: guys who get in the way of their female friends' dating lives. Why does it seem so much worse for guys when they have to deal with it.

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WordSpy Word:

WORD: n. A child who is given lots of time for unstructured activities and play during the day.

I think I grew up as a free-range kid. Who knew?

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WordSpy Word:

white pollution: n. Litter, particularly plastic bags, but also papers, cups, and food containers.

There must be a reason why most of our garbage in this country is made up of white pollution; oh the irony!

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WordSpy Word:

pinkwashing: pp. Using support for breast cancer research to market products, particularly products that cause cancer.

U.S. corporations aren't all that worried about the obviousness of the hypocrisy of pinkwashing, but I hope consumers are more so.

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OK, and one fun thing I found at the hat's place awhile ago. It is a game in which you try to come up with the top 100 most common words in English in five minutes. Go play. It's harder than it sounds.

Perkier

Last week, Mrs. P tagged me with the "six quirky things" meme!

Here are the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged me. {done}
2) Mention the rules. {done}
3) Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about myself. {see below}
4) Tag 6 other blogger´s by linking to them. {er, no--I've a policy against tagging. Swipe it if you want it!!!}
5) Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged. {see #54}

Quirky and boring? Hmmmm........

1. I don't bite my nails. I bite my cuticles though, and I can't stand the feeling of having anything UNDER my nails. Thirty years of doing this. Thank God I never took up anything addictive!
2. I'm like a trivia vacuum cleaner. I can't remember stuff I need to buy at the store, but I can tell you loads of details about a goofy news story from 1983 or the reason Western music uses an 8-note octave.
3. I realized last weekend that I only ever use the left-hand shift key on a keyboard. Why? I dunno--I just realized it!! (I still manage to type over 60 wpm somehow)
4. I do not like Easter lilies. They give me the creeps. I don't know why.
5. I also am totally creeped-out by tapioca. {{shudder}}
6. The older I get the less patience I have with people who share my behavioral faults. Including, sometimes...quite often, myself.

Good enough? Go make your own lists and let me know where I can read them!!