Wut Aih ded yisst'rdee (in diəlec)

[How it would sound if you could hear me--and DO NOT go Southern--this is done with a fairly generic Middle America pronunciation and rhythm. Stuff in () is barely pronounced/heard, but sometimes serves a syllabic need. A lot of words are run together in normal speech, so I incorporated that: "for instance" is usually said as 'forinstance', for instance. ;-)]

Mood: Ohkeyy, bud'nutherr frickən' synəs-hedək!
Hayər: RIIILLY niyds wa(r)shin
Is: Fyən. Aih nodəssed thət this morrnən--the' fill ə hun(d)erd pursen(d) fyən. Ignor'bl, eeivən.
Lisnin tə: Si(a)lenss. W'll, ohkeyy: small arrms poppin in thə distənce (hut həntin seasən 'r we-iyən?), ə lonmorr əcross-ə strit...

Wee unpackt boxes yestərrdaee, lahtsə boxəs. Dəz ennywun ou-thayrr nee(y)d enny boxəs? Wee hafv ə fee(y)oo. Wee yalso foun lotsə piəls. Lots n lotsə piəls. Thə ray-show luks lyəck sixdee pursen(d) pazd they-ərr yooz-bi(y) dayts, fordee pursen(d) rel'tivelih sayf. Dəz ennnywun ou(d)-thayrr nid enny Advəl ərr arrthrahtəs paən med'cayshun?

Weeyalso unpackt buks. Wee unpackt k'mpyoodərr c'mpon(ə)nts n hukt'əmall d'ga(i)therr. Weeyunloaded əfee(y)oo m'rr grroshrees intə thə minnaskyool kiətchən cubbərd spayss, stackt thə han'towls (they-ərracshullee goff towls--grayt repurrpəssin, Da(ə)d!) morr neetlih, n sedaside ade ər niyn fər wa(r)shin. Sig'ret smoke leevins ər grrohs, bah thə waəy.

Weeyate ad MəcDonals fə(r)lunch (əgən, ashooshooəl, ətsetrə) ən aih mayd Med(i)traneeən chick'n fə(r)dinnərr--awliyvs, caypərrs, pepperrs n 'green errbee stuff' wi chick'n bress.

Weeyərr sleepən in n dooən nuthən t'day. Yayy. Well, 'ntil tənite wen wee ha(i)v ə yooth groop meetin.

This is what it looks like in standard English:

Mood: OK, but another freaking sinus headache!
Hair: REALLY needs washing
Eyes: Fine. I noticed that this morning--they feel...100% fine. Ignorable, even.
Listening to: Silence. Well, ok: small arms popping in the distance (what hunting season are we in?), a lawnmower across the street...

We unpacked boxes yesterday, lots of boxes. Does anyone out there need any boxes? We have a few. We also found lots of pills. Lots and lots of pills. The ratio looks like 60% past their use-by dates, 40% relatively safe. Does anyone out there need any Advil or arthritis pain medication?

We also unpacked books. We unpacked computer components and hooked them all together. We unloaded a few more groceries into the minuscule kitchen cupboard space, stacked the hand towels (they are actually golf towels--great repurposing, Dad!) more neatly and set aside 8 or 9 for washing. Cigarette smoke leavings are gross, by the way.

We ate at McDonalds for lunch (again, as usual, etc.) and I made Mediterranean chicken for dinner--olives, capers, peppers and 'green herby stuff' with chicken breasts.

We are sleeping in and doing nothing today. Yay. Well, until tonight when we have a youth group meeting.

(By the way, when I said goodbye yesterday to Dad, he said thank you; my knee-jerk, thought-free response was “You betcha.” Then I realized what I’d said and started giggling...and mentally composing this post.)

This took awhile to do, but I would recommend doing a transcription from a recording of yourself speaking 'normally' (for you).

For those of you who have heard me speak IRL, this is an attempt at writing the way I sound when I "go home" to Colorado, or if you prefer an attempt at how we talked when I was growing up. You may not think I actually (acshullee) sound like this at all, but it's how I sound in my head to a certain extent.

If I had done this with something my mom taped (when she could speak at all), it would have been killer funny. I think I have something with both my parents on it--maybe I'll transcribe a bit....in my free time.

---

Urban Word:

FNG: Military term. 'Fucking New Guy' [is] usually someone just out of training or just transfered into the unit/AO, who either hasn't proved his worth or doesn't know how to operate properly due to lack of experiance.

Nobody seems to like FNGs (male or female), but we've all been one. Suck it up.