And now, for something completely different:

Today is orientation for all the students in the school district who are entering new schools. Since we have a bit of a Chinese firedrill situation going on this year (and next year, too) with the schools, there are a LOT of kids changing schools. Lots more than in previous years.

Of course, I only care about the high school freshmen, personally. I suddenly realized that we never have been notified about buses. When I called this morning to ask what bus Sparky should ride, and where the pickup/dropoff, she told me...but there was no response as far as why we'd never been notified. {eyeroll} They do not hire for customer service skills in our school district's bus barn. [to be read with dripping sarcasm]

Meanwhile, the conversation with Sparky went something like this:

Mom: Where is your schedule?
Sparky: Uhm. (starts picking things up in the office on 'his' desk) I think it's in your calendar book....
Mom: I don't think so, but let's look. Can you go get it out of the car?
Sparky: (reentering kitchen with my work bag) Here.
Mom: (looks through calendar, without success) Why don't you go and keep looking on your desk, because I'm pretty sure I left it there with the rest of your orientation stuff. [which I'd already brought out to the kitchen]
Sparky: (muttering, finds envelope) OK.
Mom: I'll make photocopy of it for you to take.
Sparky: Wait. Mom. That's the tentative one, I think.
Mom: (looks at paper in hand) Yep. OK, keep looking. What are you wearing today, by the way?
Sparky: I don't know. I don't think it's here.
Mom: Uh, that's a problem. We need to leave in less than an hour. Weren't you home all day yesterday?
Sparky: (sullen) Yes.
Mom: Sigh.

(Sparky continues to pick up and put down the same 4 or 5 things on the desk, pushing everything around, but not really examining anything. There are jellybeans in a bag, sheet music, a nylon windbreaker, papers galore, pencils, flyers from places he's visited all summer, envelopes full of photos, and other debris stacked in untidy piles on the desk. Mom leaves, and comes back a few minutes later.)

Mom: Wait. Stop. What is that envelope there? Under the jacket?
Sparky: Oh. (looks closely) Yeah. That's it.
Mom: (loading copier) Did you ask any people in band about their schedules earlier this week?
Sparky: ...nnoooottt reallllyyyyy...
Mom: Did you stop in the office and ask about the whole locker thing either day you were there for band?
Sparky: No.
Mom: Can you do that today?
Sparky: Yes.
Mom: So we need to leave in...45 minutes. Will you be ready?
Sparky: (exasperated) I only have to take a shower, Mom!
Mom: Right. What are you wearing?
Sparky: (no answer)
Mom: Do you have your locker combo written down?
Sparky: Yes.
Mom: OK, I'm putting the copy of your schedule with the orientation stuff out in the kitchen, and the original is back on your desk. (starts to leave office) What are you doing?
Sparky: Writing down my combination. (on a thumbnail-sized piece of paper which he has torn off a corner of something else)
Mom: Go. Shower.

He did. He wore a T-shirt and semi-nice shorts (i.e. with pockets), but he didn't rinse all the shampoo out of his hair.

I think I need a central line with Percocet to get me through this school year!