Noodlehead, idiot, fruitcake, goof, goofball, dope, moron, dork, screwball, nitwit, putz, airhead, dingbat, imbecile, silly, jackass, lunatic, twerp, dolt, weirdo, dummy, numskull, psycho, geek, goony bird, freak, nutcase, dimwit, schmuck, twit, jerk, dodo head, fool...Those are the clean ones, the ones I would potentially use (and have used) to describe someone's behavior in their hearing, as in "You're behaving like a _____" or "Don't act like such a _____", which of course is usually shortened to "______." Nine times out of ten, it's said with a smile. I call Sparky a goofball on a daily basis, because he IS a goofball on a daily basis. He says I'm a weirdo. My in-laws call each other Ol' What's Her Name and Dirty Old Man; it's so much a part of them that they use those names in their email.
It's a form of endearment sometimes, and sometimes it's a way of expressing frustration over the behavior on show. "Ya GOOF!" I say it to everyone, varying the actual word simply because I hate repeating myself.
Apparently, I use words like this too much in public. Apparently, other people don't see the smile in my voice (or on my face). Apparently, I need to stop using those words, along with their coarser cousins, in public. Apparently.
That bites.
Maybe I should spend future meetings doing Sudokus or writing love letters to serial killers instead of participating or having opinions. Of course, that's probably going to cause someone to complain about me, too. Should I stop attending meetings? No, someone else will interpret that in a negative way too.
So, I'm fucked. I might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb. Bring it on, Shitpile!!
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