I've tried to consolidate the flow a bit, omitting totally random asides about typos and references to [SE]'s personal life.
1:35 PM [SE]: Yo.
1:36 PM me: yo yourself
[SE]: I like how [Queen Bee] asked [Cute Eyes] who was here, and [Mar...] answered. Um, anyone who doesn't have their face in [Queen Bee], raise your hand....
1:37 PM me: mee mee
1:38 PM [SE]: OMG, this is going to take forfuckingever. "Have we...have we...?
1:39 PM me: Maybe we should read the minutes before we actually commence hte meeting?
[SE]: Did we get minutes? Or an agenda?
1:40 PM me: Check your mailbox. They came through about 10 minutes ago
such as they are
1:43 PM [SE]: I thought they were being facetious about "10 min. ago."
1:47 PM me: "...and newspapers." YES, you stupid flappyjawedbitch [i.e. Mar...]
1:48 PM [SE]: Prehaps we should call them "book serials", and all the other serials can be just called "serials" for now.
me: no one had caffeine today, clearly
I talked to the Queen [this morning] lucky me
[SE]: dooooooooy. I'm wanting to shoot myself.
1:49 PM
It was obvious that yousucked uptalked w/her when she sent out a [Queen Bee]s-mail to that effect later. :) You lucky girl.
me: fuc
k
1:50 PM What the hell are we talking about? Do you do serials at [your library] Or does someone else? I don't
[SE]: I find an OCLC rec for the title, and that is ALL that I do. Ref does everything else.
1:51 PM me: Yep, me too. I make sure the bib record is the right record. Then I back away slowly. So we have no idea what this is about, right?
1:52 PM [SE]: I don't know the first damned clue about serials. Makes me nervous. This whole topic makes me nervous. Can you hear me typing and/or chewing?
1:53 PM me: No chewing. I can hear some talking in the background somewhere, on occ. No typing either.
Shut up [Mar...].
1:54 PM [SE]: I have a wireless keyboard and I have my head angled away from it. My sandwich is done, so all that's left is the burping. ;)
me: mmmmm burping
1:55 PM Can you do requests? The alphabet...in Spanish maybe???? :-)
[SE]: Like peeing my own name, in the snow?
me: Yeah. Just like that (can't wait to post this convo on the blog!)
1:56 PM Shut up [Mar...]. !!
1:57 PM [SE]: I need to say something about her tendency to talk over people. I missed half of what [LG] said because of the little brown-noser popping in and out.
1:59 PM
me: Sorry, Google just blew up. Were you talking?
[SE]: Nah. Nothing important. ;)
2:00 PM Talked w/[Ga] this morning. She was...not happy re: the [barcoding] test. I felt bad for her, and I absolutely don't believe that this was her fault, in the least.
2:01 PM She also said that she digs the idea of a velvet dress w/a leather jacket.
me: No, not [Ga] libraries
2:02 PM What/? OK, try again: [Ga] didn't blow it, I'm sure. She's not getting correct info from anyone...sound familiar?
2:03 PM Leather and velvet sounds nice and warm...my house is cold today!
[SE]: Yes. *Exactly*.
2:04 PM me: The latest (or lastest) is that we will NOT be able to do datamapping again.
2:05 PM Yeah. You won't be there by then (if we keep saying it, a GOOD job will pop up for you!)
2:06 PM Kill the wabbit kill the wabbit
[SE]: Well, I meant it more broadly, i.e. that the front-line staff will take the brunt of it, not those of us who can hide in the back (at least some of the time). But yes, I do want to get the fuck out of here.
2:08 PM me: I actually asked [Beast] if there were openings at [his company] a couple of weeks ago (the answer was a pretty emphatic 'no'--they are permanently downsizing)
Yeah, "instantly." Insert guffaws here. hah
[SE]: Yeah. [snort]
2:10 PM me: Shut up [me]
2:11 PM [SE]: I'm still dreaming of the [uni] job...but maybe I'm just dreaming.
me: I'm turning into [Mar...]
2:12 PM [SE]: Yeah. You & [Mar...]. Sure. Right. And I'm turning into...that psychotic freakoid from St. [Loudmouth].
2:13 PM me: I don't want everyone on my staff on [the mailing list], but then I'm a moron. MUTE (duct tape over mouth)
WTF? Bring over the new record in OCLC!
[SE]: Let's just create a generic "magazine" record and enter them all there. Hee hee.
me: [These] people are crazy.
hee hee
2:14 PM [SE]: Or hey, here's an idea: let's each be in charge of cataloging an item from beginning to end. Imagine the possibilities...!
2:15 PM me: No. Can't do that. We're stoopid and can't be trusted
Even though [me] and [SE] and [our part of the consortium] keep coming up with the good policy statements
[SE]: I think we've fallen all the way to "stoopud"
me: ooooooh we're really dum
2:16 PM "oh my heh heh heh" Shut up [Mar...]!
[SE]: "HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" you stupid c*nt. (I do not use that word lightly)
me: No, me either, but I second its use here
2:17 PM [SE]: "[New Software Company] doesn't, right now, have an answer...."
me: Should I be starting a Sudoku here, I wonder
[New Software Company] right now doesn't know its ass from its elbow. I wonder: does [New Software Company] have any librarians on staff?
Shut up [Mar...]!
[SE]: "[Mar...], you need to shut the hell up."
2:18 PM me: {by the way, [Shut up, [Mar]]'s on paste now}
Make her phone in from a pay phone, long distance
[SE]: I just snortled. I think it disrupted [Queen Bee]' train of thought . Woot!
me: hee
2:19 PM I can type Shut up [Mar...]! everytime she ha-has
ha-ha's?
[SE]: "ha-ha's".
me: I was going to say something, and then I remuted. Shut up [me]
[SE]: My friggin brain is curdling.
me: I'm buying you a mute button for...some holiday or another
2:20 PM "should be addressed before we go live" will anyone remember to ask??!
[SE]: I'd rather have a meat mallet, with which to crush the fuck out of this phone.
me: "Hopefully." Oh, that's reassuring
[SE]: why? would? you? want? to?
me: Can use serials control without creating item records
2:21 PM DAMN! Don't tell [Crazy Cat Lady] that! She has NEVER wanted to barcode these things....
Shut up [Mar...]!Shut up [Mar...]!Shut up [Mar...]!Shut up [Mar...]!Shut up [Mar...]!Shut up [Mar...]!Shut up [Mar...]!
2:22 PM [SE]: She talks like she knows something other than the macro for "send it to [HQ]"!
me: My butt's going to sleep
2:23 PM "We need to start using it more ha ha" Yeah, like your brain, ya pinhead
Silence
is
golden
Is an annual an annual if it doesn't come out every year??
2:26 PM [SE]: Nope.
me: Obviously html doesn't work in Google
Oh, we're supposed to think?
[SE]: Nope.
Nope.
me: You're stuck. Say something else!
2:27 PM [SE]: [Mar...] is both stupid and condescending. That is a reprehensible combination.
2:29 PM me: MISSING THE POINT, FUCKHEAD [MAR...]
2:31 PM You have no solution
you are the problem
[SE]: let's all die.
me: OK. Jean Paul Sartre is laughing his ass off
[SE]: [Mar...] 1st please.
2:35 PM me: Is she fucking LAUGHING at me??
2:36 PM [SE]: yes. I would happily slap her.
2:37 PM me: You too. High fives for us!
[SE]: my hands are shaking. I'm really mad!
2:38 PM The idea that this is being dumbed down for [our part of the consortium]'s benefit...I'm going to fuck that woman up one of these days!
2:40 PM me: Thank God for [Voice of Reason]
[SE]: [Voice of Reason] is a diplomat. Or a dilpomat.
2:41 PM me: or a dipsomaniac...no, wait, that's us...me
[SE]: Or a glutton for punishment.
How about ISSN?!?!?!
2:42 PM me: Well, in [our part of the consortium]'s case, the only idiot doing this will be [someone who doesn't deserve a nickname]
I thought [Voice of Reason] was offering us mallets and hammers for a second
2:45 PM [SE]: My brain is bleeding.
"How many years has he been bangin' people....over the head...."
2:46 PM me: I think [Voice of Reason] has a mute button too
Snort
[SE]: What about the serials we treat as monographs, e.g. "Best American Essays"?
me: Here's an unrelated question: how could I eat like a freakin' cow all weekend and LOSE two pounds??
2:47 PM [SE]: Woohoo! Excellent! You should be very proud. I couldn't tell you why that happens, but it's cool. Maybe it's the laughing?
2:48 PM me: My notes for [my boss] read: "Training for serials will be needed because this is all real bizarre and stupid"
2:49 PM did that come through?
2:50 PM [SE]: yup. I can't wait to see your notes from this!
2:51 PM me: I just checked my work email (after an hour of waiting)...there's a meeting tonight that stupidhead [Sparky] didn't tell me about......grrrrrrrrr
[SE]: Oooh, I'm glad I'm not Sparky tonight.
2:52 PM me: Yeah. I'm already booked, can't go to the meeting, though I'll be in the building. Dork
2:53 PM [SE]: Were you there last night when he was waxing rhapsodic about the roast beef? It was weird but cool.
me: Remember to bring that up about Best... of the Year.
2:54 PM [Sparky] was rhapsodizing about food? That's news? Hah! :-)
3:15 PM me: It says "[SE] is busy. You may be interrupting." Should I go away?
3:16 PM [SE]: Nope. I just re-set to busy when I logged off momentarily.
3:17 PM me: I just know [my boss]'s gonna have a bird about this tracings subject, and so is [PsychoBoss's Twin].
[SE]: "Best american short stories" in [the meathead part of the consortium] gets you 20 hits...several of which are not actually "best american short stories." And some are serials and some are monographs.
me: I have no opinion.
3:18 PM [SE]: And I don't answer to that fucking little dwarf.
me: God you're so smart: "Book serials"
3:19 PM Wow
3:20 PM [SE]: I'm going to fucking kill these idiots. We could call them "book serials", or we could call them "blah blahbl bah blah blah baslj sehf lwiaks awda"
me: SHUT UP [MAR...]!!
....i'm kinda likin [your] last suggestion there
[SE]: I just had to pinch my nose so I wouldn't say something like "BERK!" when I laughed me ass off.
3:21 PM me: Berk ha ha ha Do you speak Brit? "Burke" (sp?) has a meaning we don't use here.
[SE]: I am retarded. OH MY GOD, THEY ARE FUCKING SERIALS THAT ARE FUCKING BOOKS. HOW FUCKING HARD IS THIS?!
3:22 PM "Burke"? Is that like the Beeker from The Muppet Show? "Beek"?
3:23 PM me: Sorry, it's "berk": "Noun. An idiot, objectionable person. Derived from the rhyming slang Berkshire Hunt or Berkeley Hunt, meaning 'cunt'. Normally Berkshire and Berkeley would be pronounced Barkshire and Barkeley. This expression is generally accepted as inoffensive despite its source. Also 'burk'. "
[SE]: OR, we could call them "poultry."
me: ha ha ha Poultry--Juvenile literature
Poultry--Videorecordings
3:24 PM [SE]: Juvenile poultry--Video Discsh[text (large print)].
me: How to Declare Moral Bankruptcy
Poultry = Poetry?
[SE]: How to make friends & influence people
me: Sex and the Single Poultry
3:25 PM [SE]: Yes, "poetry" is just a sluggard's way of pronouncing "poultry".
me: "What is a wiki?" OMG!!!! WHO said that???? Moron
[SE]: It's sex that lasts less than an hour, right?
me: They must work at [my library]
3:26 PM The follow up the Sex and the Single Poultry would be (necessarily) Fear of Frying
[SE]: Does "S & the S P" come with a side of ranch?
3:27 PM me: "Hel-LO, This is [Voice of Reason]"
No, it comes with a side of...ooh, never mind
[SE]: Shall we invite [Voice of Reason] to join us in googleville for the next conference call from hellllll?
me: How are you not laughing??
3:28 PM We should as long as we prepare him (not with a side of ranch) for the insanity.
What are they talking about anyway? Yawn
[SE]: I am laughing. I don't know what they are talking about. My brain hurts so damned bad....
3:29 PM me: "No." Thank you.
3:30 PM Very succint
[SE]: me stoopud. not afraid to say so.
me: Is [coworker] there today?
[SE]: she works 8-1, M-R.
3:31 PM me: So you're alone in your room?
.......snortling.....
[SE]: Nope, [Other Coworker with Funny Name] is here.
me: Who? Your tech?
[SE]: Oops, Grimace. The new Head O Adult Services.
3:32 PM me: Power Rangers? How'd we get to this discussion? and... Great: now we're at BabyMouse
[SE]: I don't have the first goddamned clue what "we're" talking about.
me: Me either. We've devolved to a [meathead part of the consortium] tech meeting 3:33 PM "Well I debated...it could go either (Ither) way..."
Mppphs
[SE]: And [Mar...] just repeats EVERYTHINGEVERYTHINGEVERYTHING
me: Shut up [Mar...] BURK
ooooh, 'proactive' big words
3:34 PM [SE]: I just "berk"ed. I snorted Coke out my nose. (The fluid, not the powder of joy.)
me: I'm thinking freebasing is the only way to make it through these meeitngs
or even meetings
3:35 PM You know, I never hear you make ANY of these noises. You are very good at being quiet!
[SE]: Mmm, drugs as a method of coping. I don't really see that working for me, anymore. It did the job in undergrad, tho.
My shirt is FULL of little dribbples of brown liquid. I look like a...God knows.
me: I'm now wrapped in a blanket.
3:36 PM We've regressed into infants
[SE]: "buggy"
me: Have they noticed we're gone? OOOH, yes [they] have
3:38 PM [SE]: was there a point during the Battle of Baby Mouse where our presence was required?! Or even welcome?! This is such a crock of SHIT.
me: OOOH, but you're not being very much fun.
3:41 PM [SE]: Go Fuck Yourself You Stupid Little Dwarf.
me: "Dont you agree, [LG]?" YAY [New Chair of Committee as a Whole]!
Irony is totally wasted here, babe Don't even
3:42 PM [SE]: There is a razor blade on my keyboard. I'm not kidding.
me: [They are] Totally Missing The Point
[SE]: Yeah, like sooner rather than later, like when we get tested by the state?!
3:43 PM me: Whats Ferber? [i.e. FRBR] Like Edna? Duh
[SE]: It's actually Gerber, like the baby food. 'cause we're fucking dumb.
3:46 PM me: So for the ease of the big libraries we sacrifice the small libraries
[SE]: Yes! You finally understand it. You're supposed to cower beneath the glare of the big guys.
3:47 PM me: Holyfuckingshit is [Queen Bee] on our team
I'm now on a muteless phone
3:48 PM [SE]: I've been rendered mute by frustration and gall. This is fucking ridiculous.
3:49 PM me: Well we're back to following [our part of the consortium] policy again
Jeesussss
3:52 PM [SE]: If you hear anything about [Mar...] dying under odd circumstances.... Don't quote me. [YOU DIDN'T READ IT HERE, FOLKS!]
me: We MUST sit as far from the camera on 11/9 as possible
Notice me disregarding any previously typed comments from you....
3:54 PM [SE]: Not well enough. (Paid for it)
3:55 PM I'm busy that day--when we get together. I dont' care when it is.
3:56 PM me: Yah You know, neither of us can bag these [meetings], if we want [our part of the consortium] to have any say at all....
3:57 PM Not that I'm threatening, but I was thinking that I have family in town that week.....
[SE]: [our part of the consortium] has no say. We can flap our jaws all we want.
3:58 PM me: But they're using all our policies
And then SE got called aside for abuse after the official call ended. To my knowledge, she is still among the living, though it's touch and go...she may be on her way to deal with [Mar..] as we speak.
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