In the public eye

On Wednesdays I "serve" an hour in the children's room while there is a storytime going on. I don't mind; the kids are cute and the parents are generally pretty self-contained.

I should have known it was going to be a problematic hour when one of our volunteers was standing at the desk with her aide upon my arrival. The circ/storyhour person was attempting to find a job for her (them) to do. Apparently, they agreed to go outside and clean up the sidewalk or something (?). I plopped down and started reading Bloglines feeds; I had nearly 70 to catch up on in the Library-ish section.

[Oh, by the way, yes I'm aware that the feeds in the sidebar "went away." I'm not sure why; Bloglines and Blogger have customer service questions open working on it. I hope.]

At about 1:20 the volunteer and aide return with a grocery bag with some crud in it. I pitch it in the garbage under the desk and thank them. The aide then says, "You should have an ashtray outside for all those butts."

I explain why we don't: people already congregate around the front door, we don't want to give them an excuse to do it. There is no smoking on library property. The homeless guys have to go to the front (street) sidewalk to puff. Great advertising, eh? I didn't say that last bit.

She then says something else about litter.

I reply that if all the two of them picked up after a long winter was a fist-sized bunch of trash and butts, butt-litter really isn't a huge issue. Her response: "Well, we've had a few windstorms." Yeah, cuz, waterlogged ciggies fly around so awfully well after being ground into dirt for 5 months of the winter! Not that I said that.

She continues: "Besides you need a sign telling people they can't smoke on the premises."

I relayed the party line, telling her that there is a sign on the front door -- big eyeroll from her -- and saying that we ask people to move whenever we see them standing in front of the door for any reason, especially if they are smoking. We have an automatic door; if people stand in front of it, it stays open, letting in cold/hot air and bugs and smoke and outside smells. (Horrors!)

She comes back with more of "Well, why don't you...or you could....or why not try....?" Finally, exasperated, I say, "Would you like to speak to the director about all of these ideas?" She is affronted and walks away (not soon enough). The poor high school girl must have been mortified.

It should be quiet now for a few minutes until the kids are done in the story room....oops, no: Mom-and-Grandma-With-Nothing-Good-to-Say are back again griping about everything from Summer Reading at the library to American schools to (their favorite) how rude everyone in the world is.

My response: "SHADDUP! I can't bleedin' concentrate on Steven Abrams or Sarah Houghton!" Not that I said that, either.

Then there's Jeez-Dude-Take-a-SHOWER who has been in the building every day since April 4 or so. He's way too friendly with the staff. He's been looking for "clean sex" sites. Ergh. It'll make you go off your feed just at the thought of him and the sex act in the same area code. Some people just really shouldn't tell me anything. Especially that!

People are incredibly weird.

Moral of the story: Pick up your butts, stop bitching about everything, and don't talk to librarians about your sexual needs.