The middle of a useless week

Mood: ...
Hair: Braided
Snappy Comeback NOT to be used today: If I throw a stick, will you leave?

My shoulders/neck hurt.

How much? So much that I've asked someone in their 60s to do the book-delivery for me today.

Now, on top of the pain in my back, I have guilt. I should be able to do this, y'know, just suck it up and lift that tub, tote that bale! The main reason there is so much guilt, though, is that I really don't want to do these deliveries.

I used to be the Shut-In delivery person. I did this for about six years. While I can say I didn't completely loathe the job--perks included being out of the building in the middle of the afternoon once a week, driving around town with music blaring, meeting some really cool people I otherwise wouldn't know, getting to know an awful lot about nursing homes--I was really glad to give it up. The attrition rate is depressing: about 4 deaths per year. I don't deal well with that. [who does??] And my previous emotional history with nursing homes is not good. Most of the ones I visited for this were quite nice, but some were...not.

So when the current person told me he was going on vacation and asked me to pick up the slack in this area while he was gone, I grimaced and agreed. But out of a sense of duty, not because I was thrilled.

So, am I milking this back thing to get out of doing the deliveries?

Or am I really unable to do them?

It's a case of making clear my motives...

I think it's choice number 2...my stomach hurts again today as well...but there's that nagging doubt...