Dad—Died in 1994, born in 1919. He was born on a homestead claim that was never proved, and built his first house when he was 16. He went on to build several other houses, including the one in which I grew up, along with loads of other buildings. He had a terrible, terrible head for business and trusted people far too much. Raised in a VERY strict religious home, he loosened up a lot over his lifetime, but he never learned to tell jokes properly. Which made them even funnier. I'll cop to being a total Daddy's Little Girl in all the best ways.
Mom—She was born in 1921. Everything is failing: she has diabetes, has had several strokes which have stolen much of her cognitive ability and the use of the small muscles in her left hand, is depressed (although who can blame her?) and is now having bladder-control issues. We had to move her to a nursing home at the beginning of 2007 after several bouts of major depression, serious panic attacks, and another stroke. She seems somewhat happier now, although very vague some days. Our relationship is fraught, though I am thinking that is mostly from my side at this point in our lives.
The Oldest’s family:
Marie—She had one knee replaced in fall of 2005 and can't understand why she waited so long. She’s also got terrible food-induced allergies, which she’s fought off for 25 years. And high blood pressure, and mitral valve prolapse. She was born in 1943. She is the sensible one, but I’m finding out of late at what cost that sensibility has come.
Jan—Her husband. Has had prostate cancer and beat it (his father died of it). Is losing his hearing but not really accepting that fact. He has become in many ways a dirty old man. Embarrassing—he’s also ADHD/OCD.
Elizabeth—The oldest grandchild. She was born in 1969, and the equivalent of my sister in many ways, except for the family tree. She is also a librarian, in academia. She and KO married in July 2007.
The Oldest’s family:
Marie—She had one knee replaced in fall of 2005 and can't understand why she waited so long. She’s also got terrible food-induced allergies, which she’s fought off for 25 years. And high blood pressure, and mitral valve prolapse. She was born in 1943. She is the sensible one, but I’m finding out of late at what cost that sensibility has come.
Jan—Her husband. Has had prostate cancer and beat it (his father died of it). Is losing his hearing but not really accepting that fact. He has become in many ways a dirty old man. Embarrassing—he’s also ADHD/OCD.
Elizabeth—The oldest grandchild. She was born in 1969, and the equivalent of my sister in many ways, except for the family tree. She is also a librarian, in academia. She and KO married in July 2007.
KO—What a good person! I couldn't be more pleased in the man Elizabeth chose as her husband; he's definitely worth the wait. He proved himself in January '07 by driving with Elizabeth straight through 14 hours so she could be with her sister in a crisis...while is was seriously ill with the flu.
Katherine—She was born in 1972 and in the summer of 2005 married a guy she met online. She is uptight, and very very internalizing. Doesn’t smile much, easily frustrated and also impatient. Getting to know her better has been…interesting. She smiles more now that she's married than she has in the past 10 years.
Katherine—She was born in 1972 and in the summer of 2005 married a guy she met online. She is uptight, and very very internalizing. Doesn’t smile much, easily frustrated and also impatient. Getting to know her better has been…interesting. She smiles more now that she's married than she has in the past 10 years.
Alan—DV's husband and quite the calming influence on her. He's a great guy whose hobbies are miniature railroads and redoing his '50s-era tract house into a livable, Wright-esque home. He's done almost all the work himself, and now DV is working with him on it. Between them, they own half the cats in the state!
The Fun Sister’s family:
The Fun Sister’s family:
Ellen—She died in 1994 (two weeks after Dad), born in 1946. She was the troublemaker as a child, always the one who instigated others. She developed aplastic anemia in the mid-60s--a death sentence she somehow beat through strength of will and the power of prayer. She died of lymphoma when her youngest son was a freshman in college.
Dean—Her husband. He lives with his mom, who is in her 80s. In the span of five years his wife, father, and brother died of cancer. He’s an alcoholic, was one before Fun Sister died. He used to be my favorite; now I just feel incredible sadness when I think of him.
James—The oldest grandson. He was born in 1973. Unmarried, a bit socially inept. But, he is one of those people who always land on their feet, no matter what: skateboards, cars, falling off roofs…nothing fazes him. He is inventive, very smart, and probably on his way to being an alcoholic like his dad, grandpa and uncle. He works so that he has money, quits when he’s ahead, and “invents” and goofs off till he’s broke then gets another job repairing machinery in factories. Is semi-dating a girl, the first I've ever known him to date.
Don—He was born in 1975 and was his mother’s favorite in many ways. In his 20s he bore a striking resemblance to Marlon Brando -- the Brando of the '50s, when he was gorgeous. He drives a truck for a living. He is the Caretaker, the one who keeps the family—such as it is—together. He has a dry, ironic sense of humor and tends to disappear into the woodwork until he says something hysterically apropos and biting.
The Cool Sister’s family (in England):
Jean—She was born in 1949. She was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in about 1998, which was changed to Multiple Systems Atrophy in 2006; she is failing rapidly. She tends to take Mom’s side in every discussion of “what we’re going to do with Mom.” She’s still the Cool One, though. It's heartbreaking watching her decline, physically and emotionally.
Reg—Her husband. He was born in 1943, so he is several years older than her and was still playing on a local soccer league up until a couple of years ago. Very smart, very fun, loves life, and learning. Very into envrionmental awareness: they never had a dryer until the PD got really bad, and he composts as much of their garbage as is possible.
Rosellen—Their oldest daughter, who was born in 1979. She is a physicist now working in unrelated fields doing statistical analysis for the government, but incredibly brilliant, and also one of the nicest people I know. Not sure what her goals in life are. She also loves to ride the unicycle, juggle, play sports, and organize programs for underprivileged kids.
Marguerite—The middle child, born in 1981. Married in 2004, very earnest and young and self-absorbed. Always thought she’d be a perfect preschool or kindergarten teacher: she loves kids. She is currently into Good Works and art. There are mother-daughter issues galore here.
Dean—Her husband. He lives with his mom, who is in her 80s. In the span of five years his wife, father, and brother died of cancer. He’s an alcoholic, was one before Fun Sister died. He used to be my favorite; now I just feel incredible sadness when I think of him.
James—The oldest grandson. He was born in 1973. Unmarried, a bit socially inept. But, he is one of those people who always land on their feet, no matter what: skateboards, cars, falling off roofs…nothing fazes him. He is inventive, very smart, and probably on his way to being an alcoholic like his dad, grandpa and uncle. He works so that he has money, quits when he’s ahead, and “invents” and goofs off till he’s broke then gets another job repairing machinery in factories. Is semi-dating a girl, the first I've ever known him to date.
Don—He was born in 1975 and was his mother’s favorite in many ways. In his 20s he bore a striking resemblance to Marlon Brando -- the Brando of the '50s, when he was gorgeous. He drives a truck for a living. He is the Caretaker, the one who keeps the family—such as it is—together. He has a dry, ironic sense of humor and tends to disappear into the woodwork until he says something hysterically apropos and biting.
The Cool Sister’s family (in England):
Jean—She was born in 1949. She was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in about 1998, which was changed to Multiple Systems Atrophy in 2006; she is failing rapidly. She tends to take Mom’s side in every discussion of “what we’re going to do with Mom.” She’s still the Cool One, though. It's heartbreaking watching her decline, physically and emotionally.
Reg—Her husband. He was born in 1943, so he is several years older than her and was still playing on a local soccer league up until a couple of years ago. Very smart, very fun, loves life, and learning. Very into envrionmental awareness: they never had a dryer until the PD got really bad, and he composts as much of their garbage as is possible.
Rosellen—Their oldest daughter, who was born in 1979. She is a physicist now working in unrelated fields doing statistical analysis for the government, but incredibly brilliant, and also one of the nicest people I know. Not sure what her goals in life are. She also loves to ride the unicycle, juggle, play sports, and organize programs for underprivileged kids.
Marguerite—The middle child, born in 1981. Married in 2004, very earnest and young and self-absorbed. Always thought she’d be a perfect preschool or kindergarten teacher: she loves kids. She is currently into Good Works and art. There are mother-daughter issues galore here.
Ben—Marguerite's husband, who is several years older than her. He is bossy, argumentative, smart, and somewhat of a pain. On the other hand, he is a kind person, organized and helpful in almost any circumstance. DOES NOT want children of his own. We'll see.
Jesse—The baby of this family, whos was born in 1984. He has received his degree in Religion and is now struggling to figure out what to do next. A really nice, good kid, not afraid to be religious, but also very normal. Still being molded by experience. Can’t wait to see what he makes of his life. He also loves kids, and does a lot of youth programming with his sisters and on his own. I have felt somewhat responsible for him since dropping him on his head when he was 4 months old.
The Brother’s family:
Del—He used to be my idol. Nothing he did was wrong and I always stood up for him. That ended a few years ago when I realized how selfish and snotty he is. He was born in 1953 and has told Marie and me that his wife is an alcoholic, as was his first wife. And he’s had his bout with it as well, in the late '80s. He’s finally—quite late—getting a clue that life is serious business. I think he’s probably within about 5 years of a heart attack, he’s got high blood pressure, his back is shot, and he’s got bad circulation in his hands from years of fighting fires. Diagnosed with diabetes in 2006.
CC—His wife, since 1998 (I think). Very nice, she gets along well with all of us, probably because her family is wacky too. She had only left the state she was born in once in her life before moving 3,000 miles to marry my brother. They met online. She loves to read mystery books.
Ham—The son, from brother’s first marriage, born in 1984. He’s very much still an adolescent, raised by a woman who lived in bars and went home with (or brought home) anyone she wanted to sleep with. Cece has always gotten along very well with him. Like Jesse, he's still trying to find his way: right now, his plan is to get a degree in Criminal Justice and join a police force. He moved out--to Cece & Del's great relief!--in October 2007.
My household:
Me—Born in 1963. Was told when I was about 40 that I was unwanted by my father when mom was pregnant. That changed; Dad & I had a great relationship. I have environmental allergies, less severe than the Marie's food allergies. I had a full hysterectomy in 1997 because the doctors suspected the fibroid tumor was cancerous. It wasn't.
Beast—Same age as me, basically. He played football in Texas (in high school) and he played elsewhere in college and has the body now to prove it. Probably will have to have surgery(ies) to correct joint problems in the next 5-10 years. Looks Beasty, but is really a teddy bear. Mostly. Except when he's angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Sparky—The light of our lives born in 1993. Smart. Cute. Funny. I’m biased. But the best part is that he is definitely healthy by all counts, praise God. Looks a great deal like his granddad (my dad), especially when he's snarling with anger. He is going to be a wonderful man someday.
Jesse—The baby of this family, whos was born in 1984. He has received his degree in Religion and is now struggling to figure out what to do next. A really nice, good kid, not afraid to be religious, but also very normal. Still being molded by experience. Can’t wait to see what he makes of his life. He also loves kids, and does a lot of youth programming with his sisters and on his own. I have felt somewhat responsible for him since dropping him on his head when he was 4 months old.
The Brother’s family:
Del—He used to be my idol. Nothing he did was wrong and I always stood up for him. That ended a few years ago when I realized how selfish and snotty he is. He was born in 1953 and has told Marie and me that his wife is an alcoholic, as was his first wife. And he’s had his bout with it as well, in the late '80s. He’s finally—quite late—getting a clue that life is serious business. I think he’s probably within about 5 years of a heart attack, he’s got high blood pressure, his back is shot, and he’s got bad circulation in his hands from years of fighting fires. Diagnosed with diabetes in 2006.
CC—His wife, since 1998 (I think). Very nice, she gets along well with all of us, probably because her family is wacky too. She had only left the state she was born in once in her life before moving 3,000 miles to marry my brother. They met online. She loves to read mystery books.
Ham—The son, from brother’s first marriage, born in 1984. He’s very much still an adolescent, raised by a woman who lived in bars and went home with (or brought home) anyone she wanted to sleep with. Cece has always gotten along very well with him. Like Jesse, he's still trying to find his way: right now, his plan is to get a degree in Criminal Justice and join a police force. He moved out--to Cece & Del's great relief!--in October 2007.
My household:
Me—Born in 1963. Was told when I was about 40 that I was unwanted by my father when mom was pregnant. That changed; Dad & I had a great relationship. I have environmental allergies, less severe than the Marie's food allergies. I had a full hysterectomy in 1997 because the doctors suspected the fibroid tumor was cancerous. It wasn't.
Beast—Same age as me, basically. He played football in Texas (in high school) and he played elsewhere in college and has the body now to prove it. Probably will have to have surgery(ies) to correct joint problems in the next 5-10 years. Looks Beasty, but is really a teddy bear. Mostly. Except when he's angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Sparky—The light of our lives born in 1993. Smart. Cute. Funny. I’m biased. But the best part is that he is definitely healthy by all counts, praise God. Looks a great deal like his granddad (my dad), especially when he's snarling with anger. He is going to be a wonderful man someday.
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The Beast’s Family:
DIL—Born 1930. Has diabetes, controlled by diet, as well as apnea. Has just been told he’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, and heart failure. Still has issues with his mother, who was terribly controlling and mean. I love him dearly because he's always been gallant and kind to me.
MIL—Born in 1937. Smokes, has had several heart attacks, and her knees are bad, but otherwise in startlingly good health. She has also had a minor stroke recently, along with shoulder replacement (followed by the obligatory "Why didn't I do that sooner??"). She can be obtuse, but I treasure her.
BIL—He was born in 1969, dated the same woman for nearly 8 years, and then they split when she forced him toward some kind of commitment. Otherwise, he’s an absolutely great guy. Smart, fun, argumentative, loads of music knowledge, very involved in social issues.
{{Originally posted October, 2004; updated substantially in April 2006. Names added and other updates made in January 2007, and again in October 2007.}}
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