Wisdom from Buddy

Good morning, Buddy. How are you today?

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Wow. Uhm, so why can't you be quiet today? You're awfully squeaky this morning.

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OK, I'll get an apple slice for you. Is that better?

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Dude, I don't think dropping it between the couch cushions is a great idea.

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Stop trying to eat my shirt!

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I did feed you! You still have some apple left, and a whole bowl of food and hay loft full.
Stop eating my magazine! Hey! Quit it!

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Should I cut your nails? [pause] Now that you're at the other end of the couch, now what? Are you really going to jump off the front?

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OK, then home you go.