Good morning, Buddy. How are you today?
Wow. Uhm, so why can't you be quiet today? You're awfully squeaky this morning.
OK, I'll get an apple slice for you. Is that better?
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Dude, I don't think dropping it between the couch cushions is a great idea.
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Stop trying to eat my shirt!
I did feed you! You still have some apple left, and a whole bowl of food and hay loft full.
Stop eating my magazine! Hey! Quit it!
Should I cut your nails? [pause] Now that you're at the other end of the couch, now what? Are you really going to jump off the front?
OK, then home you go.