Irony for the Clueless

a.k.a., This Is Why I Wear Headphones At Work

Overheard half an hour ago:

Schedule Nazi, barging in on a conversation between my boss and me: "Oh, that (consortium member I like but no one else here has the least respect for). All she ever does is bitch! Excuse my language.

"Last night we had a problem with (patron) again. He's just so annoying..."

I walked away, biting my tongue and wondering if I'm this clueless and self-unaware.

But now Joan Osborne is singing Spider Web in my ear so I'm trying to zen out:

When you’re feelin’ lonely
When you’re hidin’ in your bed
Don’t forget your string of pearls
Don’t forget your spider web
...
All I got's my spider web
Keepin' me alive

Thank you, you spiders!