My night as a reference librarian

... was immensely entertaining:

We've had switch problems today off and on, and tonight we have about 6 working Internet stations, out of a normal count of 25. Consequently, it's going to be a quiet night with a lot of repeating myself.

• [phone] Directions for someone in a car to an address here in town, and also to an address in a town about 40 minutes from here.
• Signs re Internet problems for front doors, circ desk, main Internet bank... [which I know will be ignored]
• Yep, they are ignored....
• I try logging in some "maybe working" stations...Nope. We are crashed.
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down...broken switch...wait till someone finishes or come backtomorrow... blah blah blah"
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• Two books on intuition for patron's mom [found one here, reserved the other]
• Smelly Man wants to chat [Eeeuuuuwwww]
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• [phone] Help with cataloging class: muskrats vs. beavers, Rule of Two, and other insanely boring cataloging stuff [I think I answered his questions, and I offer to talk to him whenever he needs an assist]
• HP arrives, in a good mood, almost flirty [shudder]
• "Where did what I printed go?" [nice guy: I point to the main printer and he gets all embarrased]
• Poetry book [he wrote down the ISBN--we find the call # and then find the book]
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• Circ person brings me cookies
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• Local want ads
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• Three 'bangers come in: "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah" [they end up wandering into the children's room and hacking into the net via World Book--why have we not fixed this!!?]
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah "
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• I run away to the workroom to escape my own voice
• Circ people want to know if I sent the 'bangers in there [no, I rarely send adults into the children's room for just this reason]
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• Want ads return
• HP leaves
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• [phone] Two books about why we shouldn't eat beef [reserve one, order the other]
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah"
• Pay for print jobs
• [I start counting down the minutes and call home for a glass of wine to be waiting]
• "I'm sorry...internet stations are down... blah blah blah
• [Well, closing will be really easy tonight!]

Glad they pay me the Big Bucks.